I want an elective c section... and don't want to be bullied!

Hey Puppies, I have been following you around the last couple of days ;)
I'm glad you are at peace about your birth! This has brought a smile to my face.
As always, I'm going to recommend doing as much reading etc as possible to ensure you have the most empowering experience possible! Maybe have a think about what you'd like to happen at the birth before seeing your OB - think about cuddles afterwards, breastfeeding, etc, and whether you will be able to do all this straight away, KWIM? They may not seem as important as getting bubs out, but they may become more important to you at the time.
I truly wish you all the very best, mate. Regardless of how you give birth, you are going to be awesome :)

Thanks Amy,
Yes I am at peace about it and now I feel like I can actually look forward to it because it is what I/we want. I am still writing a birth plan and will talk with Obs about it when we see him. I still want my Doula to come in with us and comfort us. I will be asking him a heap of questions on Thursday, but I am not at all concerned that he say no to the things that I would like. He is a great Dr and I think the world of him. I trust him and if for some reason it didn't all go according to plan I would be happy knowing that he did his best to ensure that we got the experience that we wanted.
Thank you ladies for your positive thoughts and words. Its still shocks me that we all get bullied by other women sometimes. What happened to the sisterhood!

Just wanted to wish you all the best for your birth. I've had 1 emerg and 2 'elective' (not that i was given much choice!) c/s and the electives were very peaceful and calm. My last one was in a public hospital and it was really great. The offered to lower the curtain as she was being taken out if i wanted (didnt as i had a dodgy reaction to the morphine and was very dozy) but cuddled her all the time she was out as soon as she had been checked. In fat she was only away from me for a few minutes in total and came with me into recovery so we could cuddle/do skin on skin if we wished/and breast feed all within around 20 minutes of her being born. She was then with me forever! first bath was in our room when we got back. So even most c/s births are very bonding experiences with your bubs. My recovery from the 2 electives was also really quick - up and about the next day with minimal pain, just on panadols for a few days.
I still feel like i have to explain myself and i still get 'the look' of some people - mostly women, when i mention ive had 3 c/s - mostly i don't say anything at all about my births as it's easier.
looking forwrad to your annaouncement in around 6 or 7 weeks.
Julie x

mmm something is up with the system - 2nd duplicate post in the space of a few mins!

Puppies - I just wanted to commend you for standing up and doing something that is against the grain in todays society. :clap: You sound very positive and at peace within yourself.

Im also glad to hear you did your research before coming to the CHOICE you and your DH made. It wonderful that you have both made the decission together and are happy.

Dont even explain yourself to others....what's the point of your voice falling on deaf ears.

Its your body, your baby, your choice.

Good luck adn I cant wait to hear your birth story.

At the end of the day the most important thing is to have a healthy baby & mummy, not how you birth your baby!

I wish you a safe delivery & speedy recovery :)

Puppies
Can i just say i am really jealous !! :redface:
i have so much respect for you, you have made a sound, informed descion and sound really comfortable with it. That takes alot.
I am really struggling at the moment i am having an elective CS for medical reasons but not reasons everyone agrees with and i find people totally insenstive (an me too sensitive) i agree about the bullying and have avoided CS support forms for this very reason, but i saw your post and had to read! You have given me hope and to see so many come in and support you is great.
I honestly cant believe how many people make comment when i say im having a CS, they want to know everything and then try to tell me stories of someone they knew and the problem is its really personal.
I too have researched as much as i can but in my situation there are 2 very divided schools of thought and no hard evidence either way, so all i can do is go off family history and trust my ob.
In saying all that and sorry for the ramble, but your post has really help me understand that i shouldnt feel the need to explain myself and need to find some way that i can sit comfortably with the situation. Like sunshine said no matter what you choose people are always going to add their 2 cents, so you have to be comfortable yourself and believe in the choice you have made to be the right one, then it becomes water off a ducks back :D.
Thanks for starting this thread and i wish you all the best and will be watching for your birth story, do you have a date for your CS?

Scooby,
Wow thanks for vindication my/our decision. I know it doesn't matter what other people think but its funny how much better you feel when other people encourage you and praise you for your decision or even how you came about your decision.

I will talk with my Obs on Thursday and ask him if we can book in for 31st December. At least that way our son will always have fireworks on his birthday and a public holiday after to recover. I will be 38 weeks and 1 day, so I really pray that Obs is happy with this date.

Scooby, I am glad that this thread has helped you. It has helped me also. Please don't second guess yourself, its the worse thing you can do to yourself. Having a vaginal birth simply to please everyone else is only going to cause you distress and this is meant to be a joyful time not a time where you feel pressure and obligation. In the end you will be the only one disappointed. So better to go with what your heart says and stick to it.

I just pray this little man (or should I say chubba bubba) stays put until the day he is booked in.

Good on you for doing what you want and choose to do! :clap:
You will do so well and your baby will love you so much for the birth you choose to give them.

Best of luck! :)

puppies well done on making an informed choice for your birth. As for others criticising, my experience has been that having a baby seems to let other people assume they can comment and judge on how you do everything from feeding your child to how they sleep. My advice is hold your head high put smile on your face and do what feels best for you and your family :lol:. The rest of them can get nicked!

Puppies i think being fully informed (as you are) and not being bullied are very important in a woman's decisions about birth. My only concern (and i will voice it hopefully with you in the knowledge that i believe in woman centred care for ALL women, no matter their choices) is that you HAVE been bullied, though inisidious fear, into this decision. I have seen your other threads and i feel angered that at so many times in your journey so far people have been putting doubts into your mind about birth.

I suppose what i'm trying to say is that i want you to have the birth you want, but i want you to WANT it, not choose it as the default you have been made to feel less afraid of. There are so many factors which might influence our choice but fear is surely the one which leaves us most open to regret after the event. In choosing to attempt a surgical birth rather than i vaginal one, i want you to feel empowered by the freedom of your choice and not cowed by disbelief in yourself into making a decision you might not have otherwise. I hope i'm making sense. I know that i feel the general disbelief that a healthy woman can grow and birth her babies that abounds has felt like bullying to me, and i would hate to you have made this choice because some crappy midwife filled you with fear, or some clueless radiographer scared you with a very early guesstimate which is still completely within "normal" (my DD was born on the 75th %ile and was still under 8lbs when born, 11 days overdue). This is a big ramble, please please know that this is coming from a good place. I don't think you should have a vaginal birth, i think you should have the birth you REALLY want.

If you feel you are taking your path through FREE CHOICE, and without the influence of fear-mongering and doubt from others, if you know in your bones this is what you truly WANT, then you know you have made the right decision.

I wish you a peaceful and joyful birth hun.

Much loves

Bx

Puppies, congratulations on making a decision and being at peace with it. No-one should be forced into doing what they don't want - be that vaginal birth or a section. You'll probably get on better in hospital; no-one bullies you into trying without drugs or trying to have a vaginal birth there! You probably wouldn't cope with trying for a vaginal birth in hospital from what I've read of you and your worries and nerves. It would be a nightmare!

Forget other people. You have researched your decision and that's the important thing. And no-one cares how you gave birth when the baby is here. If you do want to tell them then you're ignored because "it's only one day" and "the baby's here now". Having a NYE baby sounds great; recovery public holiday is such a good plan!

Best of luck to you when you talk to your Obs.

Hoobley,
I understand where you are coming from and yep I can see where that conclusion came from based on my other threads. When we first decided to TTC I honestly wanted a c section. Then as time went on I felt that I should at least try for a vaginal birth based on everyone's opinions. Although from the very beginning even before we had out growth scan at 28 weeks we had asked the Obs that we would like our options open to us and made sure he was able to offer us our options.

As the pregnancy has progressed my anxiety has increased and that stupid midwife most certainly impacted on that. But she certainly can't take responsibility for the final decision. In a way I am glad I was able to finally make my mind up and I am very confident with my/our choice. I slept so well last night, in fact better than I have in months and I think it has to do with the fact that this decision fits better with me and accepting that has bought me peace. I would have only tried a vaginal birth simply because I thought I had to as a women and Im glad that I have finally been able to be honest with myself and strong enough to take a stand and choose what is actually right for me/us instead of just going with what everyone else thinks is right.

In my 'bones' this does feel right to me and to be honest I am now looking forward to it and am feeling invigorated knowing that I can have the birth that I want not just what I should do and I am not ashamed of that.

I have to admit that after having 2 normal births I would love for everyone to experience what i did! And I am sad that a lot of c-sections are elected due to a social fear of birth and misinformation. Having said that, you sound like you have done your research and if you are aware of the risks associated with c-section and you believe that is the right choice for your family then you are making an informed educated decision that is YOURS to make, and no one else need impact on that, unless you invite them to.
Really, at the end of the day, no one MAKES us feel guilty, the feeling has to already be there.
Since you are making an educated and informed decision, this gives you a wonderful opportunity to lessen some of the possible negative impacts, and provides you the time to talk to your carers about breastfeeding, bonding, and recovery etc.
All the best to you - i hope making your own educated birthing choices allows you to feel empowered!

LG,
Guilt has never entered my mind with decided on a c section but it has been very much a huge impact when I was considering a vaginal birth however. In my heart I felt guilty if I attempted a vaginal birth for reasons of pride or because it was the preferred choice by so many others and something went a miss and my baby went into distress and we only ended up in theatre anyway and he might have been traumatised by the experience. That is the guilt I was very much feeling! NO DOUBT! It was a very real feeling and it was starting to take a hold of my joy. Since decided on a elective c section that guilt has gone and I feel liberated and empowered that I know in my heart that I/we have made the right choice for us. I have no self doubt with this decision but I did when I was considering a vaginal birth and it was driving me insane.

Does that make any sense at all? I am just saying what is truly in my heart.

Puppies, I do understand your reasons for choosing NYE as the birth date for your baby. I just wanted to throw in a couple of other thoughts into the mix, I hope you don't mind:

Your baby will benefit from as much womb time as possible. Although 38 weeks is considered full term, all babies develop differently. So maybe consider having your c/s closer to 39 weeks??? Your baby might naturally come at 41 weeks, so delivering him at 38 would be 3 weeks before he is ready. I know you have been told he is big, but big doesn't neccesarily mean fully developed. And I'm sure you know how inaccurate these guesstimations can be.

Also, I know people who are born on big days like Christmas or New Year, and most of them actually don't like it as they can never have a party for just their birthday, IYKWIM.
I'm not saying it's a choice you shouldn't make, I'm just putting those thoughts out there.


ETA: I just read your last post regarding guilt and your reasons for considering a vaginal birth.
You really should feel no guilt whichever path you choose. I find it very confusing though that you say that originally you had only considered a vag birth for reasons of pride and because it's what other people said was the preferred way. I agree, these reasons are the wrong reasons. People should choose a vag birth because it's the natural and safest way to birth most babies. I understand that your case is different and your feelings could make a vaginal birth much more difficult than it would usually be.

ETA again: I jsut read my last post and realised it sounded wrong: I didn't mean that people should choose a vag birth. I meant that if they chose it, it should be for the above mentioned reasons, not because they want to proof something...

Saša

Puppies - all the best with your upcoming birth. I think as long as you are aware of the risks involved with elective c/sections as opposed to vaginal births and you sound like you have really educated yourself, then you are doing the right thing by you and your child and noone can argue that.
Just keep in mind, that like vaginal births, c/sections (elective or emergency) can be just as traumatic for a newborn. Birth in general CAN be traumatic for babies.

I wish you all the very best with it all hun. I truly think you are very brave opting for a c/section actually!!! I would rather avoid it! :hug:

Yep all this will be discussed when we see Dr on Thursday. I have got 2 pages so far of questions for him. I hope he is not busy cause I am not leaving his office until I get all the answers.

If Dr says that he see's no problem with bump being delivered at 38 weeks I will be happy with that. If he wants to wait more, than I will trust him on that also. But I have to say if the baby is seen to be well developed and he see's that it wont be a problem then I am keen for that to happen. We will just have to see what happens. All that matters to me is what is best for my baby boy! I am only a little person and yes I am getting pretty uncomfortable but if keeping him in their is better for him than I am happy to live with the discomfort. As far as I am concerned I only care about him. At the moment I have already had 3 dislocated ribs because he has taken up so much room that my ribs had to shift to give way for him so I do get a bit concerned about that a bit.

Will have to see what Dr says. I pray that he will be ok to come out then though. I am looking forward to cuddling him!