I want an elective c section... and don't want to be bullied!

Thanks OP, I am looking forward to having the discussion with our Obs on Thursday and yes it is right me us, DH and I both feel incredible peace about it. We even started talking about names again last night which we had completely forgotten about because we were both so pre-occupied with the birth. It made us realise that we were both feeling overwhelmed by the pressure of feeling like we had to go through with a vaginal birth that we both started to think, what were we thinking. Now we are thinking and talking about how much we are looking forward to bump arriving safely and getting our heads back into the right place where we are enjoying it again.

Salsa, I am certainly not going to be disappointed if Dr says nope lets keep him in there a week or so longer. I/we certainly did not make this decision based on a time frame, we came to this decision because we feel that its best for us and our baby. So if he comes a week later than so be it as long as he has the BEST chance he has got to be delivered safely and with as little distress as possible than that is all that matters to me.

But there is also nothing wrong with having a preference if everything is ok. I will be asking Dr for another growth scan anyway. The last report was good as they measured his head, abdo and length of his legs. They also measure the amount of amniotic fluid he has and all in all at that stage he was growing very, very well. Other than slightly enlarged kidneys he is perfect! I know these reports are a guess but they are an educated guess. I am certainly not relying on them and we are only using them to be informed. After all nothing in this world is certain and we are not silly enough to think that having a baby is a certain science. Its all in the hands of God and we can try and guess as much as we want in the end though its his miracle.

Puppies just wanted to wish you all the best. Well done on making the decision that is right for you and I'll look forward to hearing the birth announcement! Take care xxxx

Wow, I had no idea women who elected for a c-section were bullied by other women, (especially since cs are increasingly common).

I am at the other end of the scale (wanting a home birth) so I have some idea of the types of stuff 'concerned' people carry on with (such as "do you know anything about birth?" which one MAN said to me!)

As many other wise BBers have posted - you can only do what is right for you - and vital to that decision is both research and instinct (and you seem to be using both!)

I have also been following some of your posts, so my only advice would be to confront some of those fears you were having about a vaginal birth (I don't mean so you can have one), but rather, fears often help us see something we didn't know about ourselves...perhaps you need some re-assurance about the capabilities of your body, or some positive affirmations about what you can achieve.

I agree you shouldn't try for a vaginal birth to prove something, (or out of pride), but you deserve to feel good about your body and its amazing ability to perform miracles (hello, you're growing a baby!)

Go for your CS, and feel empowered in doing so, just don't ignore any underlying anxieties...they always seem to come back again....and again...and again!

Anna,
Fears, yes they are something that I need to face but I will not use the birth of my precious son as a way of facing them. I am just not willing to take the risk. Bringing him safely into this world peacefully and without distress is far more important to me than anything. I am not scared of pain, I am not scared of labour. I am scared of hurting him or causing him harm and that is the main reason for my decision. I am sure that as the years go by I will be forced to face my fears which are "My darling son getting hurt in anyway" but that will happen I am sure and I don't look forward to that at all.
If the only reason I would attempt to have a vaginal birth was to face my fears then I believe that I would be selfish. I would end up emotionally distraught if my instincts turned out right and we only ended up in theatre with a distressed baby. Knowing that if I had just followed my instincts and did the elective then non of this distress would have happened. Then I would feel guilt and disappointment in myself that I made the wrong decision. I guess it could also go the other way to but in my heart I don't feel that. After all your instincts as a mother kick in and if I start ignoring them now then what hope have I got for being a good mother.

Puppies, I agree a VB is not the place for you to face these fears. Indeed that's exactly what I was saying. I think a CS is the best option for you if thats what you want.

I was more concerned that you have anxiety at all. I know how debilitating it is. That's all I was getting at...

Yes, I have been to see a phycologist before (was referred by my GP) and I will probably go back to her again once bump is born to help me face my fears of loosing the ones I love or them getting hurt. I am even terrified that my puppy will get hurt, hence why I stupidly through myself between her and another doggy as they looked like they were going to have a disagreement. I ended up tears saying what kind of mother and I going to be when I put my own child in danger to protect my puppy. To which she probably could do a much better job of protecting herself than I could!

I don't yet know where my fears come from but I do need to address them and I will in time. Just want to make sure that bump arrives safely then I can start working on fighting that battle. After all we all have our battles that we must face.

Oh hun...big hugs to you. :hug:

You sound like you're doing all the right things to help yourself.

I wish you all the best for your baby and birth. Its your body, and your decision and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Thanks Anna your well wishes are really appreciate and I would like to return the favour by wishing you and your family best of luck with your approaching home birth. Your going to awesome and I don't know about you but I am very much looking forward to the two of us soon becoming 3 of us!

Absolutely! Not too long now!!! Hooray!

I say good on you! You sound like your in the same position as me when i had my 1st bub well and 2nd they were both big bubs we didnt know how big but they were showing very big on scans and even give or take the half a kilo they say they were always goin to go big... the same thing scared me trying to push a 10 pound 2 baby out with a 40 cm head and ending up distressed and in emergency theartre, so when I weighed my options up with what was put infront of me I know I made the right choice for myself and my babies both times around. C section is not pleasant to go through nor is it easy to recover from it took me 12 months with my 1st and quicker with my 2nd, but at the end of the day you will do whatever is safest for you and your baby. Good luck and ceasarian or natural birth you always forget about the discomfort and pain after you're holding your bundle of joy, although you have the after pain for months and months after having a c section but everyones different and by gosh is it worth it!

Good luck Im sure you made the right decision, I got bullied too but you know within yourlsef what is right for you! ;)

hi puppies, i too have leaned towards a c-section for our first precious bubba. i have some issues with my pelvis that have been brought up to me and my mum and sis have both ended up with emergency c-sections to deliver with the same shaped pelvis, and i have chosen not to go through however many hours of labour and put my child in harms way to be rushed into emergency to deliver via ceasar.
but like you i have to keep defending myself because even though i have some medical proof about my pelvis it is still classified as an elective ceasar. my ob wasn't overly supportive however he did say it's totally my choice given my family history, that there's a good chance i'll end up in emergency.
the midwife i talked to when i was sick in hospital just immediately shut me down and said you'll be fine to deliver vaginally, and since then it's taken me a long time to accept that it's fine for me to choose a c-section. like you said i feel that i'm not letting myself down for my choice in delivery, cause after years of ttc, all i care for is having a beautiful, healthy baby.
my family and friends are very supportive and encouraging me to go with my instincts, but i feel it's others who have extremely strong opinions on birthing vaginally, and think that i'm choosing this cause i am 5ft3 and only 55kgs pregnant, but i am totally aware that you can birth vaginally at this small with no probs, i just can't ignore family history and my pelvis shape.
oh it felt good to also vent that out, it's been playing on my mind since i got the positive blue line...ha ha
good luck puppies.

Hi Puppies,

People will always express opinions about what is the "best thing for you" just remember that that is all it is - their opinion. They cannot affect the choice you have made, or the outcome a bundle of joy in your arms.

I am pro choice for other women

- but for myself I never ever want to experience another C-Sec, my recovery was aweful and I hate the sight of my scar the feel of the extra buldge it has produced BUT then the reason I had the C-Sec is a painful memory also and I am sure on some level it feeds feelings.

Each woman has the right to choose - you don't owe anyone an explanation if people ask why your going these lines you don't need to justify your decision a simple "its the best option I feel we have for our baby" then a subtle change in converstaion should suffice.

Best of luck hun, hope your little one stays put until your surgery date :D

Nae x x

Hi hon

you need to do what is in your family's best interests everyone elses opinion does not matter.

When you get a date don't advertise it. You want to have time to bond as a new family before you have lots of visitors. Tell a select few by all means but it also means it is a 'surprise' for everyone else.

I totally understand what you mean if you went through labour when you are not wanting to and feeling like a failure. I had to have an emergency c-sec, DS was posterior, cord around his neck, failure to progress and foetal distress. After being in labour for 18 hours when they said I had a to have a section I had a few tears. I did feel a bit like a failure and most of all that my DH would think I hadn't tried enough. We all know that is rubbish but these thoughts can be residual. Mine were fleeting, though I do sometimes have a 'what if I had done ...' . I have come to understand that I did my best and I have my beautiful son. All in all it was still a positive experience. I recovered quickly and very well too. much better than I imagined. As to what I will do next time, I don't know. both have their attractions. It is a while off.

MAy you have the birth you wish, enjoy the rest of your pregnancy

Oh my goodness ... am I with you 100% on this one. I live in Melbourne and was wondering if you found someone who would give your elective c-section, I want one too!

Aww Puppies..totally your choice hon..I am totally supportive of women making choices for THEM...funny that men just dont seem to have the same sillyness..ie bottlefeeding vs breast, csection vs natural, drugs vs painfree and working mums vs sahms..and the list goes on. We need to be supportive of each other as women, all making choices that we feel are right for us at the time.

I would just say that having gone through this route, and as someone else has already mentioned, it can impact on your birth choices later, should you change your mind regarding another baby. Im sure you will have considered this already. After the birth of my first two with quite horrific intervention I chose the elective route and havent been able to get out out it. Just something to consider(which you no doubt have done).

Love and hugs to you and bump sweetie

Jo

PRO CHOICE

its time to stop looking at elective c/s as a failure and second rate birth

I will be also having an elective for my second child, due to dramas with the first and an emergency c/s

Well done puppies on being strong enough in yourself to be able to make that decision, and then being brave enough to announce it when you expected critisim.
As you enter motherhood, there are a few things that can be counted on.. one of them is the fact that no matter what decision you make, someone, somewhere will knock you for it, either openly, secretly, or, slyly.
You need to work out what you want, and stick to your guns, its your body, your family, your baby boy, and ultimately, that is all that matters, be it now with you c/s, or in further down the track when it comes to the million other decision that you will have to make.
Best of luck, the decision that is best for you, and your bub, is the best decision.

Thank you all for your support and your opinions either for or against. I am seriously at peace with my decision and and now excited and looking forward to our little man arriving in just 4 more sleeps! I am not at all worried about the surgery. I just feel so confident and trust that God has it all in his hands and that this will be the best way for our chubby boy to come into this world.

Now I am just trying to fill my last days so that they go quickly cause I can hardly contain myself! But at the same time I am also trying to savour the last days of my pregnancy as this will be our only child and I have loved being pregnant so much it has been the most amazing experience of my life and I feel very blessed for having it.

Hey Puppies not sure if i ll get on in the next few days so just wanted to wish you all the very best with your CS hope you have a speedy recovery and ill be looking for any tips or advise you have after (if im still around sceduled 13th Jan) Anyways all the very best for you and your beautiful bub to be. ENJOY!!!!!!!

Puppies. all the best for the 6th January. I totally agree about pregnancy being the most amazing thing. I loved mine too and can't wait to do it all again. If I can give you any advice re: the elective cs. I couldnt get an ounce of sleep the night before mine, because I just couldn't stop thinking about what was about to happen the next day. It was quite cruel really because I didn't get much sleep there onwards for a few weeks (new baby and all ;) ) so do what you have to do to get some sleep that night. Not sure if the Ob can even prescribe you a slight sedative? I know I will be asking for one should I end up having another elective cs.

The other thing is, always keep an open mind that a cs doesn't always go exactly to plan. I wish I had have written a CS birth plan covering all possible scenarios. You see, with me, they couldn't get the epidural to work so I ended up needing a general :( and in hindsight I wish I had have had bubs first moments and hour of life videoed so I could watch everything that I'd missed out on. I'm not telling you this to freak you out. It's only about 1 in 100 who end up needing a general. I was just one of the unlucky ones.

Once again, best of luck for the 6th. YOur beautiful little man will be in your arms so soon :)

Thanks Spice and Scooby for your well wishes. I really appreciate them. I am so excited not in the least bit nervous, I guess that just goes to show that I have made the right decision for me. I am planning on resting up really well today and tomorrow to try and just get myself as calm as possible so that the surgery and recovery are as best as they can be, if you know what I mean.

I will for sure post as soon as I can about how everything went and to try and give you some heads up Scooby. By the way my BB group told me yesterday that you aren't meant to have painted toe nails in CS, did you know that? Its a bummer cause I especially got a pedi on Friday for the big event! Ahh well its no biggy.

Anyways, 2 more sleeps to go and at last we get to meet our little man. I pray with all my heart and soul that he is healthy and not traumitised at all. I can't wait to meet him!

Why aren't you meant to have painted toenails????? I have never heard of that before.
Good luck with everything!
Saša

Best of luck meeting your gorgeous little man gorgeous. Wishing you a speeding recovery and enjoy your babymoon!! Can't wait to read your birth announcement.

Painted toenails are ok. Fingernails need to be free of nail polish to ensure accurate oxygen saturation measurements.

Puppies - how exciting - two more sleeps til you hold you little man in your arms, and begin a new journey as a family of three. This is an amazing time. I remember how I felt the few days before my DD (who turned 13 yesterday!!) was born. I was sooooooo excited, and just couldn't wait to hold her in my arms.

I have had three c/s, the second being an emergency as I had gone into labour 4 weeks early, and the placenta had started to abrupt. My third was two years ago, and was my best birth experience - in spite of having gestational diabetes, and being very concerned that something would go wrong for either me or my little boy. I was encouraged, and able to, express alot of colostrum before we went to theatre, so that he could be given it via syringe to ensure his blood sugar level's didn't drop. I had a midwife and a student midwife with us, a theatre nurse took photos, and some video for us as well, so I have some brilliant shots of him arriving into the world. He was placed skin to skin, and had his first suckle in theatre while they were stitching me up, and doing the tubal ligation I had requested. He was with me in recovery, and stayed cuddled in my arms when we were wheeled from recovery to maternity ward. All those "vital stats" weren't preformed until he was 4hours old, when he needed to have his BSL done again (had to be checked 4hrly for 48hours). It was an amazing wonderful experience that I will remember forever. I'm so glad that my last birth experience was such a positive one.

I don't feel any less of a woman or mother because I didn't "birth" my baby vaginally. Having experienced labour, and then an emergency c/s as well as having two electives I am no less a woman or mother then my fellow women who have birthed vaginally. I agree with you - it sometimes seems that the sisterhood that should be there amongst women has disappeared to be replaced by judgement and bullying. One of my favourite books is The Red Tent where women hold each up and support each other. anyway - I digress.

If you can get someone to take photos do. and if the antheatist (spelling??) offers you something to help you stay calm if you are feeling anxious, take it. I suffer from acute anxiety disorder, so I know how dibilatating it can be.

Looking forward to hearing all about the arrival of your son. x

Wow, time has flown!

Best of luck with the birth and recovery Puppies, i can't WAIT to read your announcement! :)

:hug:

Bx

hey puppies
Yes i wondered about the painted toenails mine really need doing i took the old stuff off on the weekend and was going to re paint, but remembered from my ectopic they made me take it all off, although that was a general?!?! You must be soooooo excited!!!
Spice thanks for that i wondered how well id sleep the night before? Sleeps not happening much as it is and i can just imagine the ticking over that will go on the day before!
Well once again all the best puppies :dance:

Thanks girls,
well I am all booked in now for first thing in the morning. We need to be there at 6am and it won't be long after that that we will go into theatre. You think that I would be nerves but I am not in the slightest. I am just wanting to hear my little boy cry and see that he is ok and that I am ok from the surgery and the rest I couldn't care less about.
We have told all our family and friends that we are booked in on Thursday and only a couple of people know that its actually tomorrow now. Its just a nice surprise we think plus it gives us some time to bond without feeling like we are bombarded with visitors.
Anyway, I am looking forward to it and certainly not clock watching like I thought I would. I just feel so much peace about it and I am sure I will even sleep well tonight. DH is cooking my fav dinner and then we will walk the pup and then watch a bit of TV before heading off to bed. I have just rested up today and watched some dvd's and just sat their feeling and looking at my bump since this is the last day that I will have it. I have grown quiet attached to my bump and in some ways will miss it. But having our little boy will make up for that.
Thanks again girls and I will post my birth story as soon as I am up for it.

All the best for tomorrow puppies! Enjoy getting to know your little bub!

I'd wish you luck, but you don't need it - you will be fine. :hug:

Have a good birthing day tomorrow. Don't freak out when you feel like your legs are bent, but they aren't. its a freaky feeling - just roll with it babe.

All the best!!! *mwah*

:

---

Your baby will benefit from as much womb time as possible. Although 38 weeks is considered full term, all babies develop differently. So maybe consider having your c/s closer to 39 weeks??? Your baby might naturally come at 41 weeks, so delivering him at 38 would be 3 weeks before he is ready. I know you have been told he is big, but big doesn't neccesarily mean fully developed. And I'm sure you know how inaccurate these guesstimations can be.

---

Sadly not in my case :( if my c/s would have been tthe week earlier (when I told the doc's somethign was wrong) then my little man might have had a better chanch of not getting blood clots due to the cord being wrapped around his neck 3 times and his placenta calcifying. We was born at 38 week gest and my pead said if he went any further he may not of survived at all.

Puppies honey...I wish you all the best for tomorrow honey...I remember my last nights with all my bumps and jed and I did exactly what you and DH have been doing tonight...it is a little sad as you get so attached but think of the gorgeous little man that you'll be holding tomorrow.

Here's to a quick recovery for you babe...remember to hold your tummy when you try getting up afterwards and especially if you need to sneeze or cough..otherwise it hurts.

I look forward to reading all about tomorrow in the near future

:)

Thinking of you Puppies - it's half three in the afternoon here so chances are you'll be getting up to go to hospital soon.

Hope everything goes well and your little laddie is everything perfect for you.

Hugs.

Hey puppies, any chance we could have an update? I know, you must be very busy, but we're all dying to know how it went.
Congratulations!!!!!!!!!
Saša

Hi girls,
I am sitting here while JD is sleeping and I am pumping away. I am sure you can imagine that in your head. JD and I have had a tough first month. He has been crying for on average about and hour or more after almost every feed. After a visit to the Peadi on Friday he says he has reflux and has given us Mylanta to give him 1mm after every feed and if it doesn't improve in 4 days we have some medicine to give him 3 times a day before food. I really pray that helps him.

I am recovering remarkably well from the actual CS and in fact I feel physically fantastic! Nothing like I was expecting. However I have ben diagnosed with PND. Nothing to do with the CS in fact the stats say that 80-90% of women get it regardless of method of delivery. I am being treated now so now that we have JD's reflux confirmed and me on the mend mentally we pray that we will all start enjoying this wonderful experience more now.

JD has continued to put on more than the average weight gain and is adorable. He sleeps about 4 hours on average now between feeds and the other night we got 6 hours out of him! I am giving him mostly formula now because of his reflux he is on the thicker stuff but he still gets his booby milk as like a desert or between feds if he looks hungry. So we are getting there.

As for my opinion on the CS, So pleased that we delivered him that way, I will continue to be completely happy with my decission. I have only 2kg to loose before I
am back to what I weighed before I feel pregnant and my scar is very neat and personally I love it. It reminds me that I gave birth and that is a positive and empowering thing.

Good luck to you all.

Oh Puppies, I hope the Mylanta works for JD. Charli had the same thing too (took 12 weeks for someone to finally take me seriously and diagnose it) and Mylanta worked wonders! Both for Charli, and for my sanity :)

Puppies, I'm sorry to hear you are struggling with PND and poor JD has reflux. I hope you will get it both under control with the treatment.
WOW, I have never seen statistics this high for PND. Actually, the stats I have read said around about 80% for baby blues but 10-20% for actual Post Natal Depression. But I guess there would be a lot of undiagnosed cases around. So I'm really glad you realised that something wasn't right and have done something about it.

I'm really glad to hear you're recovering well from the operation. That is great news. Also that you are at peace with your decision and that everything worked out well for you.

By the way, lol at your comment about BM being a dessert. That's too cute.

All the best with your little man!
Saša

hey puppies, i havent read much of this thread, just your last post. Glad that your recovery from your cs was so good, and you have had such a positive experience from it.
As for the reflux.. hang in that, it does get better. But, FWIW, Mylanta made Aiden's reflux worse, much much worse actually. And after a few days on it, we switched to Losec, and it improved considerably after that.
Best of luck also with the PND. I imagine a reflux baby doesnt help the situation to much, as you are trying to do your best, but, your little one is still upset. Hang in there.. you are right thou, its alot more common then we are lead to believe i think, and so, help is quite easily available. Have you got some close people that you can talk to, and that can come around and help you out, give you a break etc?
:hug:

:

---

Actually, the stats I have read said around about 80% for baby blues but 10-20% for actual Post Natal Depression

---

I believe you are correct. PND stats are not as high as 80-90% of all women.

Isn't it funny how all bubs respond in different ways with reflux meds. Charli was on Losec and also another one I cannot remember the name of and they did NOTHING to help, but Mylanta worked a treat. Just another reminder that all bubs are different I guess ;)
As for the PND, puppies I really feel for you there. I was diagnosed with PND also and needed to be put on meds. The reflux certainly doesn't help either so hopefully JD is feeling better and that will take some stress off you.

Perhaps the PND stat is that of all the women who are diagnosed with PND, for 80-90% of these women, there is no correlation between the PND and their mode of delivery. Mine unfortunately was partially related to my mode of delivery and that was because it was a traumatic birth for me but also another medical condition I had made me more susseptable to PND in the first place.