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Look, I think the short answer is that you pay child support. You don't have to pay half of all the other stuff, there is really no obligation on your part to do so, it's at your discretion. It's really as simple as that. Some parents would, some wouldn't.
THanks.:
Is the extras you pay at the moment something agreed on in writing or just a verbal understanding? For how long?
Could you be paying less? Possibly yes and still contributing to the costs you might think are worth contributing to. You can claim certain contributions as deductible of child support as long as you continue to pay at least 70% of your agreement amount I believe but you'd need to consult child support about this so the information could be relevant to your specific situation. And I think you would need to be paying directly to the school etc. This might mean you still end up paying more than the legally obligated child support amount though depending.
Legally, unless there is an agreement in place otherwise, you are only required to pay child support and that is it. What it is meant to cover isn't specified though, just the expense of raising a child in general so if a child is expected to coat more (specialist appointments, additional education costs etc) then that can be placed as an additional agreement.
Some do pay extra, my DD1s dad does contribute to I guess you could call it educational expenses (we homeschool) but it is flexible and discussed on a case by case basis. I'm not sure how things would change if he gets a new partner, we don't expect extra but it certainly helps improve the quality of the resources and experiences we provide so is helpful and appreciated but if he choose to stop we would not fight it. I think that can be a dangerous path for the co-parenting relationship and that is more important to me than the extra money.
I would suggest that your husband be the one to actually follow this up as it will probably be better received than if you do.
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Thanks. I think that many of the people replying don't really understand what my question is. It seems that you do.
I love my partner's children like my own. I pay for his daughter to do ice skating lessons on the weekend, violin lessons etc. Her mother contributes nothing towards these, and I don't expect her to as these are activities that I choose to do with the children. I am more than happy to pay half of swimming fees and ballet fees because these were activities that the children started before their parents split up.
In terms of child support payments, I would expect that this money is SUPPOSED to go towards medical, dental and schooling costs. I don't understand why we are paying extra for these things. I will take your advise and get further legal advise regarding this situation.
I don't want the children to miss out and they don't. I do, however want US to be able to do things with our combined family more rather than just pouring money into someone else's bank account. Even if all the money is being used appropriately for the children, I don't understand why WE can't be giving them that rather than their mother...
thanks again.
Child support is for BASIC living/necessities. Food, clothing, rent, power, gas. Anything more are not necessities. Petrol/rego are a choice. Almost a necessity, but mostly a choice. Public transport may be considered a necessity. There is a public health care system. If you're a low income earner, health care is free. Public schools are also generally free. They just ask for 'voluntary contributions'. You don't HAVE to pay this, but it is in your childs best interest to pay it.
Child support is there to help with necessities of life, nothing more. There's no way in hell the $5 a week a centrelink earner pays even helps with the necessities of life. If you're a higher income earner, you pay a higher amount. The higher you pay though, the less the recipient receives from centrelink. So there does become a point where a recipient would use child support for themselves, because weather it is for the child/ren or not, it is income. Centrelink/CSA don't separate the two & say 'well you get $1500 a fortnight child support, here have another $500 a fortnight for yourself'. Once the CSA gets to higher payments the mother gets nothing. The mother still needs to survive though. Yes she could work to earn her own income, but not everyone has that chance. Its not that easy for everyone. (I use this example because I personally knew some one who did live on this amount of CSA & was lucky he paid, or she'd have had nothing).
I honestly don't think there is anywhere that stipulates exactly what child support is supposed to cover. I think it depends on the individual & their situation. $5 a week might buy a bottle of milk, yet on the other end of the scale $500 a week might pay for everything. Because if the parent on the higher end of the scale isn't working, that's all s/he has.
I will honestly tell you that if I received a payment from my ex, the day it was paid would depend on how it was spent. Chances are that the kids would already have everything they needed paid for. So I might just go down to the local, get myself a 10 pack of jim beam & a packet of cigarettes & enjoy a quiet drink, or even a catch up with friends. Because the job is done. The kids are fed, clothed, bills are paid. That all came from MY income, so I will happily repay that 10 pack & packet of cigarettes back into MY income.
If he'd pay what he owes ($4000) I can promise you now that I would easily spend a good chunk of that on myself. Because that would be paying myself back for covering that $4000. (I'm actually dreaming of the holiday for us ALL that it'd pay for! ;))
What comes into my household as income goes out however I think it should. If I've taken care of my responsibilities then I have that right to then do as I please with what is left. I don't care where it came from.
Instead of going straight to seeking legal advice it might be worth asking CSA to review the assessment first. Then you know you have an up to date figure to work from with negotiating (or is the current assessment fairly current and based on current information?).
But there is no specified guidelines on what child support should 'cover'. It is to help with the expense of raising a child, whatever expenses it can based on parental income and care percentages. It is a conservative figure and rarely will be able to contribute substantially to the costs that raising a child actually entails but it is, at the end of the day, all a person is legally required to contribute so if that is all your partner feels he can contribute, he could scale back at any point IF this extra expense is not a formal agreement that would need to be challenged first.
But please, please do tread gently. If this arrangement has been in place for a while (before you became involved especially) it will be hard to swallow that things might need to change.
Ok Im going to reply here even though I normally don't reply on these topics.
We have the same as you 50/50 care. The CSA is worked out using my income and his dads income, with the guise of what the paying parent would have contributed IF they were still together, then he pays what they have said. So if he ears more than I then he pays me and if I were to earn more than him I would pay BUT IF I have other dependant children that affects my rate the same as if he had other dependant children it would change his. And by dependant I mean biological only not -step children. That is to cover his part of the child's BASIC NEEDS. Basic needs via csa are, Shelter,food,clothing, schooling including uniforms and supplies. General medical, General dental ect.
Normally extras are not included BUT can be if both parties agree upon it. That being said if a mum or dad is happy to say they will pay for extras ONTOP of the CSA I think that is fantastic and really why wouldn't they?? One thing that poo's me off is when they have other children they will pay extras for but wont pay for the extras of the child they pay cs for. Why is one child more entitled than the other? They shouldn't be at all.
We are lucky and when ds has a specialist apt we pay for it BUT his dad will then pay for this therapy, Why, Because its fair. Its still his child and he wants the best for him. Child support only covers the basic needs not the other needs/wants.
All children should be equal in my opinion. How would you feel if you were the single one who receives cs and you struggle somewhat and your ex goes onto re-marry or partner and has children with her and gives those children everything BUT refuse's so pay half for your child to play a sport when he pays for his "other" kids too. Bet you wouldn't be happy? And it should be the same vise versa. But don't complain that a parent pays extra so their child can do sport and its making things tight for yous if the children who live you play sport that he helps pay for too that's just not right. If things are tight cut back for all the kids, don't pick and choose as they all have equal right to the love and support from both parents. Believe me kids know when they are treated different from the other parents "new kids" and it hurts them. NOW having said that Im NOT saying that's what YOU do. I was just generalising.
Now in reply to this. I wouldn't pay the whole amount of them to do things while with her I would suggest only half as its an extra not a need. She may not pay for the things they do while with you do to not affording it,If that's not the reason then Maybe your partner needs to discuss this with her as that to me isn't right either. My son's dad pays half of some extras while he is with us and we DONT when he is with him but that's because he and we understand we cant afford it and he can plus some. BUT again that's his choice we don't make him. Maybe you could come to an agreement that they do x activities with her and x with yous and you all just pay your own seen as there doing things at both homes, as opposed to only doing it at one home iykwim.:
Thanks. I think that many of the people replying don't really understand what my question is. It seems that you do.
I love my partner's children like my own. I pay for his daughter to do ice skating lessons on the weekend, violin lessons etc. Her mother contributes nothing towards these, and I don't expect her to as these are activities that I choose to do with the children. I am more than happy to pay half of swimming fees and ballet fees because these were activities that the children started before their parents split up.
In terms of child support payments, I would expect that this money is SUPPOSED to go towards medical, dental and schooling costs. I don't understand why we are paying extra for these things. I will take your advise and get further legal advise regarding this situation.
I don't want the children to miss out and they don't. I do, however want US to be able to do things with our combined family more rather than just pouring money into someone else's bank account. Even if all the money is being used appropriately for the children, I don't understand why WE can't be giving them that rather than their mother...
thanks again.
Now what is the extra covering for the dental, medical and schooling cost? If you don't mind me asking, as general ones are covered by your cs. If its some thing like brace's then yes she can request their dad help. Same with medical normal doc appts and medication is covered but if it were for say a specialist or therapy ect then again she can ask that he help.
Im all about it being fair and all children being equal, its not like they asked to be in the position there in. I would sit down with him and gently explain your concerns, and work out what is fair and ok for yous.Then I would ask him to talk to her about it as she may not take it kindly from you,then again she will prob blame you anyway if she's loosing some of the things she has gotten away with so far. But it sounds like you do a lot with he kids when you ha them, so I don't see why you would have to pay for what she does with them, it would be different if yous didn't do anything with them.
Hope this is coming out right, My keyboards dying and I have to keep adding in missed letters haha