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Thread: Dealing with the hypochondriac

  1. #1

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    Default Dealing with the hypochondriac

    Everyday, multiple times a day, DD1 is either feeling sick or has something that is sore.

    Most mornings she will say that she is sick, but when I walk her into school she will run around and swing on the monkey bars. Same with pickup, I will see her playing and she will run up to me and say she was feeling sick today, but the teacher would not call me.
    I have spoken to her teacher about and she always seems well in class.

    The last 2 years we were dealing with bad tummy aches, which she saw a paed for. We put it down to anxiety. The previous teacher noted the tummy aches would start when she was nervous about something. Have not done any counselling for this, as DH is being stubborn and does not believe in counselling

    She has a lot of pains. Could be growing pains, could also be due to her just doing things like PE and gymnastics. We are always explaining to her that sometimes when you use your body it can hurt afterwards. We have also explained the whole "boy who cried wolf" concept.

    She spends up to an hour each night getting out of bed and coming to us with some complaint. So she is getting to sleep late, which I think is part of her problem, I know I feel ill if I am not getting enough sleep.
    There is also a food issue I am concerned about, but that is really for another thread.



    I am over it, completely at my wits end. I am in half a panic that there is something really wrong or that if something really does go wrong that we will just ignore it.
    The times when I have kept her home, she has ended up being quite well. In one way I am glad that I work, otherwise I would be bullied into keeping her home (yes I do feel bullied by her behavior as when she is "ill" she is unrelenting).
    Last edited by Astrid; June 10th, 2013 at 10:01 AM. Reason: missing word

  2. #2

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    Default Dealing with the hypochondriac

    No idea, but sometimes my dd is just line this and I have no idea what to do..

  3. #3

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    Oh I know this situation too well! I had the same problem with my DD and it got to the point where I told her and her school that unless she was dead, dying or had bones protruding through her skin I was not to be called out of work. Sounds harsh but I was over it. My DD would also pull strands of her hair out and I had trouble getting her to eat at school but would find food remains around the house where she had tried to hide it. When I got to the point I couldn't cope anymore I took her to see a GP for a mental health plan to see a social worker who specialises with children and discovereed she had quite severe anxiety, separation anxiety, low self esteem and there was a bit of bullying going on as well. I felt terrible for not addressing it earlier The counselling taught DD coping mechanisims and made her realise that just because she's scared doesn't mean anything bad is going to happen. It also taught me how to recognise why DD sometimes acts the way she does and how to help prevent it. I've recently noticed a return of DD's "trigger signs" (she's currently got a small bald patch on her head ) and have managed to get her someone to talk to at her school before it got to bad.

    Maybe there is someone at your DD's school she can chat with, a school chaplain or welfare officer (as opposed to seeing a counsellor if your DH is against the idea?)

    I hope you can get some answers soon, it's not a nice situation for anyone to be in.

  4. #4

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    Thanks TicToc.

    I believe there is some access to counselling via the school. Will just organise it and DH will have to get over it.
    She says everything is ok at school. She has friends and is doing quite well with study.
    Part of her problem is she doubts herself and won't answer unless she is sure she 100% correct. I am not so enamored with this year teacher, too wishy washy for my liking. DD1's previous teacher was much better, caring with that touch of toughness, seemed to have her worked out and plus she would talk to me quite regularly about her.

    She does not even have to go to school today and she is sooking she is not well. Basically for today it seems to be related to her not being able to do exactly what she wants (which even if she got what she wanted she would find some reason to not be happy).

  5. #5

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    When I had this problem, I'm sick so cannot go to school, I would really treat them as sick. Bed or on the couch under a blanket, little or no TV, could read books etc, no special snacks, unless I knew they were really sick, playing kept to a minimum etc.

    They soon learnt that staying home for the 'fun of it' was boring.

    I know there are times when issues at school happen but you will learn the difference. Most schools these days have people to talk to so use them. Even if it's you who talks to them, you will get some ideas of what is going on and how to deal with them. They will also most likely keep on eye on your child and step in if needed.

  6. #6

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    My DD1 is 10 and she is a hypochondriac. Just now, she came in to tell me that she had hurt her wrist and it's terribly sore. I grunted at her. Every day, something is sore; her arm, her knee, her wrist, her head... Every day. Drives me nuts. I am quite confident that in the case of my DD it is attention seeking for the sake of attention and nothing more. I have told her about the boy who cried wolf, I have asked the office at school not to give her ice packs and bandages, I have banned my DD from wearing bandages or slings to school... I have removed the reward of attention. Things are somewhat better, but still something is constantly sore. One day she will break something and I will grunt and ignore her...

    One of my DD's classmates broke her arm a couple of months ago. My DD was green with envy when she saw the cast!!

  7. #7

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    Default Re: Dealing with the hypochondriac

    This sounds like a manifestation of anxiety imo. Some kids are so astute, they'll say everything is fine because they don't want to burden or disappoint the adults around them (my girls do this) not realizing that naturally, the issues just come out in other ways. Counseling has been a huge help for my oldest, I really think that's your best bet. I also found that reading picture books about managing anxiety has helped, since they provide ideas for coping mechanisms as well as an opportunity to discuss what's going on.

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