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Thread: I don't know what to do.

  1. #1

    Default I don't know what to do.

    A few months ago Lachlan our 10yr old choked on a Malteser. It rolled down his throat. I was about ready to do the choking first aid on him when he got it back up. In the last few weeks he is basically refusing to eat for fear of choking. He has been to school today and has come home with lunch box still in tact. We finished dinner an hour ago and he is still not even a quarter of the way through. I have told him if he doesn't eat he will end up in hospital. He weighs next to nothing as it is. If I mention taking him to the doctor he bursts into tears. Does anyone have any advice? I am considering speaking to his teacher about him not eating at school.


  2. #2

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    Default Re: I don't know what to do.

    Oh the poor thing That must have been scary! I get why he's scared.

    Can you maybe change his foods a bit for a while? Go back to very easy to swallow stuff? So yoghurt, soup, smoothies etc? You can still get lots of nutrition in and he won't be scared of choking because it's not stuff that can get stuck. As he gets comfortable slowly bring back in more 'normal' foods that are maybe soft but still get chewed, until eventually he's eating the same as you again? Would be a bit of a process but at least he won't starve and it recognises his fear.

    Also, does the teacher know first aid? Could she/he easily save a choking child? If they do/can, maybe have a chat to the teacher with Lachlan there to talk about what would happen in a worst case scenario, so if he were to choke again.

  3. #3

    Default Re: I don't know what to do.

    What could I do for lunches? Just send yogurts? He wanted nutella today but it came home. I have been in tears since my post.

  4. #4

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    Default Re: I don't know what to do.

    Oh no

    Cold soup isn't great... a green smoothie would be one thing at least. If a Nutella sandwich even came home, I'm not sure.

    Is the Dr thing related to this at all? Would he be willing to speak to a Dr about it? Maybe they could explain how he needs to chew food really thoroughly before chewing - we're supposed to anyway, I don't think many people do - and then he won't choke on it? Otherwise I'm out of ideas, but I'm so sorry

  5. #5

    Default Re: I don't know what to do.

    I saw a program a while back where an adult man had a similar experience and had spent years and years eating very few things - he needed some (can't exactly remember how they termed it) food therapy and was rehabilitated to eat normally again.
    I think if it is still traumatising him to this degree months on, he needs to see someone now before it becomes much worse....it can be fixed, remember that!

  6. #6

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    Default Re: I don't know what to do.

    I am so sorry to hear that your son has gone through this.
    It sounds like it may have been quite a traumatic situation for him, and he may possibly need to 'debrief' about this to someone - other than his Mum & Dad.

    Perhaps he thinks going to the doctor will result in him getting in trouble for not eating?

    He may have a food aversion now that something so simple as a malteser caused him to experience this.

    Possibly a counsellor/psychologist would be a good start to help him get through this time.

    (I am by no means a professional in this situation, I am just hoping to give you some extra suggestions to try and get you all through this)

    Good luck and keep us updated.

    Love & Light
    xx

  7. #7

    Default Re: I don't know what to do.

    We've just been too the shop and have spent nearly $90 on yogurts, custards, tinned spaghetti etc. I told him he could have anything he wanted at the shop. He did buy pears as well. We also got shredded beef and meat pies. He likes party pies. I told him I'd make mash potatoes to go with his pies etc. So I guess we will see how he goes.

    Yes I think I will try and get him to the doctor too. Or at least speak to them myself. He does see a pediatrician for his ADD.

    He came home from school informing me they have camp this term, so I need to try and get it somewhat sorted or I don't think I could send him.

  8. #8

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    Default Re: I don't know what to do.

    I was going to say exactly what you have done. We often have times of soft foods with DS1. There are days when the only things he will eat are apples and spaghetti. If he will eat soft foods then that's fine. If it's still an issue when you are here, I'm sure eating with my boys may help

  9. #9

    Default Re: I don't know what to do.

    I am going to speak to the principal tomorrow and see if I can get Lachlan into the school counsellor. I will also ring Child and Mental Health. He used to go and they stopped it at the end of 2013 as he was doing okay (school wise). So will ring to see if I need to get a referral or not from the GP to go back.

  10. #10

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    Default Re: I don't know what to do.

    Astro, I hear how worried you are about L. I would be tempted to take him to the Dr anyway, tears or no tears. I don't know much about choking but it seems possible that he could have had some soft-tissue damage from choking - even if it was mild, it might change the physical sensations (or whatever) so that he could have a real dysphagia (swallowing difficulty). Or it might be purely psychological - but you won't know unless you get it checked out.

    He might need some physical therapy (speech therapist?), some short-term dietician help, plus the mental health support, so you might need a referral to a multi-disciplinary team. Keep a record of what he's eating for a few days (recording actual portion sizes) and maybe even start tracking his weight. That will help the dr to determine the urgency of the situation and might help you get some (public health) assistance sooner rather than later. .

    When my DD wasn't eating due to a really nasty ulcerated mouth, my dietician friend stressed the importance of getting protein into her. A really basic way of doing this is by mixing skim milk powder into regular milk, and using that for milk drinks, added to soft foods (eg with mashed potato, scrambled egg, homemade custards, pumpkin soup, ie, whatever he will eat/drink). You can also get extra calories into someone who's not eating much by using oils and whole-fat dairy (milk, cream, cheese, butter) and adding that to food whenever you can (ie melted cheese in soup, cream in porridge, olive oil on veggies, etc). It's not a long term solution, but it might help between now and when you can get him seen by someone with some expertise in this area. But try to keep him eating whatever solid-ish foods he'll eat because it will be even harder if he stops altogether.

    Hang in there and let us know how you get on.

  11. #11

    Default Re: I don't know what to do.

    He's agreed to a doctors appointment. So we're going at 12.45 today. He is an anxious child as it is, worries about anything. Would not step in his room for a week because I couldn't find a spider. So I think I might also try to address that.

  12. #12

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    Default Re: I don't know what to do.

    Glad he agreed and hope it went well.

    Poor kid. I think your plan is a good one.

  13. #13

    Default Re: I don't know what to do.

    Went to the school this morning and spoke to the teacher that runs a room from special needs children. She was actually Lachlan's class room teacher last year, so knows him pretty well. I told her what was going on and she has offered Lachlan to go to the room at any recess or lunch and eat where it is quieter and where there is less people.

    From there I went and spoke to the principal. She gave me forms for the in-house school psychologist. She said you need a mental health care plan from your GP. I told her that was my next port of call anyway. I went to the GP and didn't really get much joy out of her. I did get the mental health care plan though. Well I hope it classifies. I then went to the chemist and told them what was going on they have recommend a spray like rescue remedy, for him to use 4 times a day. I gave him the spray before he went back to school and he can't stand the taste of it, so we'll try it in some water or fruit juice later.

    I was talking to the lady at the school that runs the community centre and as I was chatting to her Lachlan's teacher walked in. He's not in class on Wednesday's so didn't know Lachlan had been to the doctor. I filled him in on what was going on and he said that Carlee, who I spoke to first thing this morning, did fill him in on some of it. So i have all the school on board with trying to support him. I packed him 2 yoghurts and 2 cheese slices today. By the time I had picked him up he had eaten both yoghurts. So it's a start.

  14. #14

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    Default Re: I don't know what to do.

    Im glad that he as able to eat something. I agree with speaking to someone, that must have been so scary for you both

  15. #15

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    Default Re: I don't know what to do.

    Poor little man. I can't offer any advice that hasn't already been suggested but I remember my son had rescue remedy lollies which he liked better than the spray but if your son isn't eating they might not help.

    Hope he recovers quickly Astro.

  16. #16

    Default Re: I don't know what to do.

    Yeah there would be no way he'd suck on a lolly. That is how he choked by sucking on a Malteser.

  17. #17

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    Default Re: I don't know what to do.

    How's he doing today? How are you doing? Good to see he's been eating, I hope he continues to improve. I think you're on the right track seeking help.

  18. #18

    Default Re: I don't know what to do.

    I am doing better. I submitted the psychologist request forms with his mental health care plan to the school today. He has other issues apart from eating, so I think he'd benefit no matter what. Now I just have to wait and hear from them which shouldn't be to long. He is doing slightly better as well. I think hearing "You won't choke every time you eat" from people who are not us, has helped. He is downing yoghurt like it is going out of fashion. I got 10 last night I think I might only have 2 or 3 left.

    For tea last night he had shredded beef mixed in gravy, very smooth mashed potato, and some scrambled egg. He ate all his mash, half his egg and half his beef. It did take him nearly an hour but it is the most he has eaten in I really don't know how long. He has requested the same tonight.

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