thread: Conflicted about DS staying daycare

  1. #1
    BellyBelly Member

    Dec 2008
    Brisbane, QLD

    Conflicted about DS staying daycare

    DS starts daycare on Wednesday. It was supposed to be kinder but because we had to move we had to leave the kinder he was enrolled at and all the ones here are full. So now its the kinder room at daycare. Not exactly happy with that but dont have a choice.
    Im feeling very conflicted. I am looking forward to it because he is so ready but also because I cannot WAIT to just have some quiet time. Some time that is not filled with arguing and negotiating and being frustrated that he will not listen to a single instruction or answer a simple question like "do you want x or y for lunch?"
    But at the same time, I'm so sad that it has come to this. I dont want to feel relieved that I will have some time out. I want our time together to be happy not fighting all the time to just get through the day.
    I always said it makes me so sad to hear people say they cant wait until thier kids go back to school, that they have had enough of them. (No judgement - just sad they feel that way) But now I am thinking it. Wednesday cant come soon enough.

  2. #2
    BellyBelly Member

    Jan 2011

    Re: Conflicted about DS staying daycare

    We all need our own space, completely normal and nothing to feel guilty about. I crave it!

  3. #3
    BellyBelly Member

    Nov 2010

    Re: Conflicted about DS staying daycare

    Everyone needs time to themselves to get their equilibrium again, you are not saying or doing anything wrong. Revel in that peace when you get it and everyone will benefit

  4. #4
    BellyBelly Member

    Aug 2010
    Sydney Aus

    Re: Conflicted about DS staying daycare

    Don't feel guilty! It will probably make the time you do spend together exactly how you want it!
    He will love it, and you can enjoy some one on one time with your DD.

  5. #5
    BellyBelly Member

    Dec 2006

    Re: Conflicted about DS staying daycare

    Don't feel guilty! It will probably make the time you do spend together exactly how you want it!
    He will love it, and you can enjoy some one on one time with your DD.
    Have to agree with this, a year ago dd2 was a handful like you are describing she would argue over everything. As soon as she started kinder she loved it and was much happier at home. We had our sweet little girl back. The first holidays were a shocker as she reverted back again but has been better once she realised she did get to go back to kinder.

  6. #6
    Registered User

    Jan 2009

    Re: Conflicted about DS staying daycare

    You need time to yourself and your child needs to learn about themselves as a part of others as well, away from you.
    You will be a better Mum if you have some down time, don't let anyone make you feel guilty for that!

  7. #7
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Jun 2010

    Re: Conflicted about DS staying daycare

    *puts her hand up* I have a child who is... strong willed and independent . Love them to death. But day care and then subsequently school made me a much better parent to them simply because I wasn't having to argue over every teeny tiny little thing every single day all day. It gets tiring. For us although it meant our quantity of time was reduced, our quality time improved immensely. Don't feel guilty, you may just find this is the thing you need to make your relationship stronger.

  8. #8
    BellyBelly Member

    Jun 2005

    Re: Conflicted about DS staying daycare

    Maybe you're looking forward to the time apart because you're sensing his need for independence. You're not being a bad parent, you're tuned into your child. xx

  9. #9
    Registered User

    Aug 2006
    On the other side of this screen!!!

    Re: Conflicted about DS staying daycare

    Thing 1: Approach your local kinders (try ringing the day before they re-open) to ask whether they have any new vacancies. Ask to speak to the manager/person who handles the enrollments. Explain your circumstance (just moved, DS very ready for kinder, etc) and if they still don't have a spot, ask when you can ring again to find out whether all the enrolled children have actually turned up and whether there is a space. This kind of polite persistence often pays off.

    Thing 2: I don't know why we load these expectations onto ourselves. Being at home alone with small children is an incredibly tough ask, and no-one likes to admit that they might not enjoy the task at hand. Having a strong willed child adds to the challenges. It's ok to feel the way you feel.

    Thing 3: We all need to fill our own tanks. It sounds like you're running on empty. Some time to yourself, some variety to own routine, will help charge you back up again. This is a good thing and not something to feel guilty about.

    Thing 4: Lots of kids get ratty when they are ready for kinder. Once you get past the transition and into the new routine, DS will have more outlets for his energy and his curiosity. You are likely to find that the time you spend together is less fraught with conflict.

    Breathe - acknowledge your feelings as valid. This will pass