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Thread: What's the etiquette with parties?

  1. #1

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    Default What's the etiquette with parties?

    Every party my kids have been invited to I've gone with them. They've been too young to send on their own. DD I reckon is getting close but not yet. She went to her friend's 5th birthday early Dec and I went too. The parents had made provision for other parents staying - adult chairs, plenty of nibbles and bubbly. DD has been to this house plenty of times, including several without me, but I still stayed. As did many other parents. Most, I think.

    So when do you start leaving them? She's in prep next year. From then??

    My next question is... DD wants to go to the movies with her friends. Do I limit to only my niece and nephew, one or two friends, so I can handle them on my own, assume their parents won't come? My sister probably would come at least.

    And I assume I pay for all these kids?

  2. #2

    Default Re: What's the etiquette with parties?

    From prep DS went to some parties without me. I stayed for pool parties. You really need more than 1 adult for movies in case someone needs to go to toilet etc during movie. I would expect to pay for the movie as you have invited them.

    DS had 4 friends to movies for his birthday. DH and I both went and we paid for kids. We also made up food bags instead of purchasing there.

  3. #3

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    Default Re: What's the etiquette with parties?

    My DD started going to parties by herself last year, some I stayed & others I let her stay by herself.
    She had just started prep
    As for the movies, I would pay as I had invited them.

  4. #4

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    Default Re: What's the etiquette with parties?

    I only leave my 6 yr old if it is in an environment not catered for parents (e.g a lot of girls in my area have gone to a princess parlour where they get nails painted and pampering tailored to little girls, and it is a drop and go party, but it is a venue designed for the party, not to have lots of extra people around).

    I still stay for at home parties and anywhere the venue is general public accessible. I was fine with parents staying or not staying at DD's party this year.. I even collected some of the girls from school and their parents collected from here, and also asked a Mum to take my DD when she was invited to an after school party on my work day.

    I would probably take DS to the same movie and sit away from the party if DD was invited to a party at the movies.. But that is just me.. If I invited children to the movies as a party, I would be paying for the invited children.. If parents were like me and wanted to go, it would be at their expense..

  5. #5

    Default Re: What's the etiquette with parties?

    Depends on the child, venue and what the party is.

    Liebling has insisted I stay until age 6, but many parents have told me I can go before that.

    At leisure centres etc they have enough staff so I can leave, at people's homes I ask if they want a hand.

    If an entertainer is provided, I am less likely to be needed. If it's the sort of party I do, an extra eye for the activities is usually welcome so I can serve up hot food too.

    So no hard and fast ettiquette. I would say you pay for the invitees, not any tagalongs though.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: What's the etiquette with parties?

    Last year at 5 DS1 went to some drop off partys and some where I stayed. The drop off ones were mothers group friends and I have known them and trusted them for 5 years so was not an issue at all. I am not comfortable dropping him off for a party where I do not know the parents well.

    As for the movies I would ask ad say you are taking your DD and she would like a friend to come alone would blah child like to come and just say you are welcome to come along as well. We have done movies a few holidays in a row and I have always asked a friend with kids and kids have a ball. They have always paid own way.

  7. #7

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    Default Re: What's the etiquette with parties?

    Gosh, depends. I have found it a mix with 5yo's. I am ok with drop off at 5 depending on location, type of party etc, but I have come across other parents who complained that parents dared drop off and leave at kinder age, so I think it depends on the parent group. Also depends on child. DD2 was better with kinder parties than with childcare ones with being dropped off.

    We always cater for parents, we are out of town, so often it is not worth them leaving.

    As for movies, I would pay for a party situation which I was holding.

  8. #8

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    Default Re: What's the etiquette with parties?

    My DD1 wasn't cool with me leaving her in her first year at school, so I didn't really. Plus I was getting to know the other parents and my past life makes me more wary I guess.
    Only last year was she happier, but then most of the parties she goes to are my girl friends kids and I want to stay lol.
    I guess it's different too in a smaller community.

  9. #9

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    Default What's the etiquette with parties?

    We found with DD1 that the drop & runs started to increase around grade 2-3. Before that most parents would hang around, with a few exceptions (usually the single dads LOL). For a cinema birthday, I would offer to pay only for the invited guests (ie your child's friends) but I would ensure there were at least 2 supervising parents (eg myself & DH) because I would not want to leave kids watching the movie by themselves while I escorted others to go to the toilet (which is inevitable if they have drinks).

    ETA - if the cinema visit is for a birthday (ie in place of a party) I would pay, provide drinks/snacks etc. if not, like if its just a movie date, then you'd expect the other parent to pay (unless it was a situation where you knew the other family was in financial hardship in which case you might say it was your treat). The other exception is when it's a family you are close to you might pay for their kids knowing that when your kids spend time with them, they pay - assumption of mutual reciprocity.
    Last edited by AnyDream; January 3rd, 2014 at 11:18 AM.

  10. #10

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    Default Re: What's the etiquette with parties?

    Quote Originally Posted by ~Kim~ View Post
    My DD1 wasn't cool with me leaving her in her first year at school, so I didn't really. Plus I was getting to know the other parents and my past life makes me more wary I guess.
    I found that with DD1 Prep birthday party, a lot of parents stayed, got to know us, then I found they were more friendly at school pick ups, assembly etc.



    So it can be a good thing to hang around at a party or with hosting your own to make it clear to other parents that they can stay (and provide good coffee )

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