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Thread: Circumcision...

  1. #1

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    Default Circumcision...

    My DH is Jewish and I am not. Before I met him I was against the idea of ever having a son of mine circumcised. However over the years I guess my stance has softened as I kinda figured that it was something that I would probably need to except if we had a son given that he is Jewish...



    A few weeks ago we attended some friends of ours sons britt (ceremonial circumcision performed by a rabbi). There was no way that I was going to watch, but I was horrified by the blood curdling scream this little baby let out when it happened (the poor thing had been sleeping when it was started which couldn't have helped though). Afterwards he continued to cry and cry. We left about an hour and half later and at that stage he was sleeping while his mum rocked him, but would wake and start crying again the minute she stopped rocking.

    I found the whole experience quite traumatic and being pregnant I have started questioning if I am willing to let my child (if it is a boy) be circumcised...

    On the way home I actually asked my DH about his beliefs towards the whole thing and was quite shocked when he said that for him it wasn't about religion or culture but about cleanliness. Personally, I think I might be able to live with having it done if it was for religious reasons, but I am not so sure about the cleanliness reasoning...

    So, I suggested that my DH and I both do some research on the area and discuss it again when were both more well informed. As far as I can tell he hasn't looked into it any further... We've still got a way to go with our pregnancy so there is time, but we aren't going to find out the sex so I think we need to reach a decision before the bub comes.

    I was hoping that some of you could share your experiences in this area. Have you had your son/s chopped? Has it been a bad experience? Have there been complications? And, if you have decided not to has your son every gotten an infection or had problems as a result of not having it done?

  2. #2

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    No cirumsicion here and DS is perfectly fine
    DH is not cirumsised either and has never ever had a single problem.
    Perhaps print off some info for your DH to read, or even make an appt to see someone with him to discuss it.

  3. #3

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    I have 3 sons non of them have been circumsised. I was once upon a time all for it, I guess because my brothers were done, until I watched a video on the procedure some 17 + years ago. Yes I know it has changed since then though. We have never had any health issues or cleanliness issues with it.

    My DP is done and he wanted to have Noah done, I told him if he wanted it done he could take him and look after him after it was done. Alas he never took him

    IF your partner says it's about cleanliness and not religion it won't matter to him if it is done by a Rabi or not then. If this is the case you can get it done by a Dr instead, who will use pain relief.
    I feel so sad for the poor baby that you saw done. There is no way they can say it doesn't hurt, all skin has nerve endings and feelings.

  4. #4

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    That poor little baby sounds like he was in so much pain!!

    I had my two sons circumcised using the 'plastibel' method. The procedure these days (obviously different from the traditional jewish circumcision) is very quick, easy and PAIN FREE!

    First of all you are given some anesthetic cream to apply 2 hours prior to your appointment.. you then wrap the penis in glad wrap allowing an opening at the end for the pee..and put the nappy back on.. this prevents the cream rubbing off and hence the penis not being fully anesthetised. The plastic ring is then placed over the baby boys penis under the foreskin, and a string tied over the top.. cutting the circulation to the foreskin... which is then trimmed off once the circulation has been cut and there is no feeling left in the foreskin. The plastic ring and string then fall off naturally within 3-10 days. It does swell up more until the ring falls off, and is slightly uncomfortable for them.. but no crying at all. Both my boys fed and slept straight after and there was never a problem or any irratibility over the following week etc.

    I am very glad I got my boys done.. and any more boys I have will also definitely be getting circumcised. That's just what works for us, but everyone is different and I don't feel strongly for or against.

    Hope you and your partner can come to an agreement whichever way you choose. It isn't an easy decision or something to be taken lightly, but there are definitely pain free ways to circumcise these days.

    Kindest Regards
    Mel x

  5. #5

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    Iv'e just been researching , as I wasnt' sure about circumcision at all as far as if it's routine. I have a great book on parenting I stumbled across (Heart to heart parenting, from ABC shop) and it talked about it a bit. It cemented my decision not to.
    Basically it said that nowadays it is done only for religious reasons. There is no hospital in NSW that does it routinely. There are percentages in the book but basically it's a very low percent who get it done. It says that as far as cleanliness goes, it is not proven to be any cleaner, and infact infection can be prevented by leaving the skin on. It also says you don't need to clean it when they're young (it says you shouldn't infact) and also it reduces sexual pleasure in the future.
    Just some info for you. I would suggest that book, and also any other info you can get. The books great, I sat down with DH and we read it together, he's perfectly happy to leave as is if we have a boy.
    Hope that has helped. xo

  6. #6

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    That is cruel.

    If it's not for religious reasons, yet you want to get it done, the Doc will do it with pain relief.

    That poor baby

  7. #7

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    No circ, no infections, no problems at all.

    TBH, as soon as I saw that perfect little body I knew I could never mess with it. Dp was leaning towards getting it done but felt the same way as soon as DS was born.

  8. #8

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    I completely agree with Mumma2girls.

    I have had the unfortunate experience of witnessing 2 circumcisions (on placements as a student) that were done in a GP office without any apparent pain relief. I know exactly how distressing it is and I didn't even know these babies or their parents (who sat outside btw). I was horrified. There aren't that many GPs who do it now (I am in a rural area and they tend to be 'jacks of all trades' out here).

    There is no evidence it is 'cleaner' or prevents infections. As long as boys are shown how to clean their foreskin properly (at an age appropriate time) there shouldn't be any problems. As for when they're infants, the advice is NOT to pull the foreskin back when changing a nappy, bathing etc.

  9. #9

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    Have never considered altering Sammy's perfect body in any way, same as the girls! If they choose to change their body when they are older it is their choice. We have never had any probs with infections at all, nor do I believe the 'cleanliness' issue as being valid.

    Jo

  10. #10

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    My Dh n I had the same dicussions and researched when we were preg with my bub (we didn't know we were having a girl!).... We decided to have it done if we had a boy as my DH is circumcised. I don't want my little boy to wondering why he looks different to daddy in the shower. Had my DH not been done then its not something I would have bothered with. In saying all of that I think it is cruel getting it done to old fashioned way .... I believe it should be done by the Dr with pain relief and the little cap thing they use these days.
    Good luck with it all.

  11. #11

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    I had my son done in 2000. His Dad was done, and I wanted him to be the same. If my partner had not been circumsised, I would not bother.

    He recovered very quickly from it (within a couple of days the bandages drop off). The only thing I did not like is that we could not be in the room with him when it was being done. I was upset outside.

    I don't know if I am having a son this time around, but I will ask my partner how they feel. I do think it is easier to keep clean though.

  12. #12

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    Just before we get any further I want to remind everyone to play nice LOL. That is all.

    My two boys are not done and we've had no problems at all. My eldest is nearly 8 and he washes it every night in the bath since he was about 6 (when he could retract it) and knows how important it is to clean it - nothing special, just pull it back and give it a splash with the bath water. Even if you do get it done, that doesn't absolve him of any responsibility to clean it - they can still get cheesy if they are done so that sort of 'busts' that myth doesn't it? At the end of the day, it is a 100% personal choice between you and your DH - it's great to hear of positive results from both sides of the fence, but only you two know what is right for your son. If you were to write a list of all the pros and cons for each side, I think it would be pretty much even, which does make it harder to make a decision.

    That said though, my DH wishes that we had gotten our eldest done (in hindsight mind you LOL) but we just couldn't come up with a good enough reason to do it. We are not religious so that isn't a factor and I think your DH might have to do a bit of soul searching too if his reason isn't a religious one when he is Jewish himself kwim? If he is adamant and you are kind of leaning that way, then maybe a Dr would be best if you feel bubs would be traumatised to have it done traditionally.

  13. #13

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    When people say that they want their son circumcised because Dad is and they don't want their little boy to question why they look different to Dad, i sometimes wonder if they would operate on a daughters genitals if they look different to Mums.

    There are lots of body parts that differ between parent and child. Some of these are due to development level (adults have pubic hair, babies usually don't), others are just variations that exist between different people (my pinky fingers bend, Mum's don't).

    We don't operate to make kids clones of ourselves, variations betweens kids in the family and between kids and parents can be used as a discussion tool to talk about variations in life.

  14. #14

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    Yeah, its your mates that would give you more crap than your dad.....
    By that I mean, lots of people want their kids to look like everyone else (!) and with the drop off in circs its the kids in the shower at school that would be the ones that would take issue and tease about socks on or off.

  15. #15

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    Lulu, I was about to say a similar thing. Boy's are far more likely to see other boy's penises while at school in the toilet etc then they are their father. So they are more likely to be different to most of their peers.

    You have to remember that when our partners were infants circumcision was almost a norm. So pretty much most of the men around late 20's, 30's even 40's are circumcised, and their children are mostly not.

  16. #16

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    It's really interesting to hear opinions from both sides of the fence

    It's a topic that can certainly cause alot of debate isn't it!

    Just wanted to say my reasons for circumcising my boys came after alot of research and careful consideration. It wasn't just down to cleanliness or looking like their father. There was alot of other information I came across regarding std's, increased chances of their female partner getting cervical cancer, and what really did it for me was that at any age down the track it could be required due to recurrent frequent urinary tract infections, or teenage boys having difficulty with their erections as their foreskin strangles and is too tight when their penis is erect.

    I am definitely not trying to enter any debate.. just wanted to share a few of the reasons, and as previously posted.. there is pro's and cons on both sides of the fence.

    I suppose not having it done comes with some risks... which most children/adults never have to encounter... but there is the statistics that show problems do occur and it can be required later on.

    I got my boys done at a surgery specialising in circumcision in Brisbane. Contrary to popular belief, there is now a steep increase in the statistics of boys being born and the number of circumcisions being performed. This clinic performs upwards of 2 dozen every day,... and there is currently about a 6 week waiting list as they are so busy. All 4 times I have been at this clinic, I have seen numerous parents and babies there and upon chatting never came across any getting it done for religious reasons.. so there is definitely many parents still opting for it without having any religious reason. What upset me was seeing 7 yr olds or 10 yr olds coming in so upset and scared as they required getting it done for reasons due to UTI's etc. I also have seen and heard of many grown men requiring it due to UTI's. This swayed me in my decision.

    In saying all this.. it was just something we decided we'd like to avoid any problems down the track, and thought it best for us. I TOTALLY agree with the other mothers saying they've never had any problems and they're children are fine. It is wonderful to hear. But I have heard many stories on different forums of mothers over the past 3 years (this topic is one that continually comes up for discussion!) that have been the statistics that have required to get their boys done at an older age due to having problems, and wishing they had done their children when born.

    Again.. Just adding some more friendly info.. not wanting to debate at all ladies. I don't feel strongly for what any other mother wants to do with their beautiful children.. just for what my DH and I choose to do for ours. But I don't pass judgement or opinion on anyone elses decisions whatsoever.

    Happy New Year to everyone!

    Mel x

  17. #17

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    Hi
    I was actually brought up jewish, but decided not to circumcise anyway.
    I figure my baby was made perfect just the way he is, and as long as we educate him he should be fine.
    I don't know how they could measure sexual pleasure between circ and non circ, but in any event if jordan wants to follow the faith down the track then the decision will be his, and he'll be making it actively rather than me making such a choice on his behalf - but that's just me.
    Good luck

  18. #18

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    Quote Originally Posted by CathyS View Post
    The only thing I did not like is that we could not be in the room with him when it was being done. I was upset outside.
    Cathy I think that is terrible and really cruel for the medical people to have made you wait outside and not be able to be present and comfort your baby. The two that I witnessed, both sets of parents opted to wait outside rather than stay with their children. This was partly why I found it so distressing personally to witness - I wanted the choice NOT to see that and I wasn't given that option but the parents were.

    Personally, I don't agree with cicumcision (after my experience with it), but I do respect the rights of other parents to make different decisions for their children.

    Mellz - thanks for your last post - it raised issues I hadn't considered before.

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