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Thread: I'm confused, we decided not to circumcise but now I'm having second thoughts...

  1. #1

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    Default I'm confused, we decided not to circumcise but now I'm having second thoughts...

    DH & I discussed the circumcision option when we found out we were having 2 little boys. As per his generation DH is circumcised and I thought this is something that he should decide as he "knows" what it is like.



    DH said that he didn't feel that his sons needed to be done "just for looks" so it was all set in stone that our boys wouldn't get done.

    So now we have been told that Twin B has Hydronephrosis in his right kidney - this is a hereditary condition inherited from me - and as such just having this condition will make him prone to UTI and bladder infections. So I'm now thinking that having him circumcised may help his condition. But then you start thinking do you only have 1 done due to medical reasons or have both done.

    I know we will be referred to a pead urologist once the boys are born and he is the one that dones the circumcisions as well, but just wanted to get others opinions of whether you would have/had your son circumcised if they had a similar medical condition.

  2. #2

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    My son had hypospodias, and so he had to have a partial circumcism anda operation at 6 months old.

    We were going to get him circ. anyway to be the same as his father, and because of all the other health benefits...

  3. #3

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    Unless there is a medical need, I would stick with your initial thoughts.
    If there is a need for one to be done, then I wouldn't do the other - the same reasoning re aesthetic circumcision would apply as it did before the medical condition itms.

    Take a look at the Peaceful Parenting page on FB, do lots of research into the condition and make an informed choice. Personally though, I wouldn't even consider it for either until after they are born, and never for the one without the medical condition.

    Good luck

  4. #4

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    I had DS done due to our history of thrush, diabetes and autism. Plus, I'd had too many friends who had needed to get their sons done when they were older anyway. A lot of my decision was based on experiences I had when I did some work as a carer with elderly men with dementia. They were having issues because they didn't have the capacity to keep it clean anymore but went into hysteria when someone else needed to check it out because of UTI's etc. It was very traumatic for everyone involved, and I didn't want to have the same issues with DS if he did turn out to be autistic, or having the opposite issue of him being so OCD he did himself some damage trying to keep it clean.

    At the time, my DH wasn't done, and he had an issue that they would be different, but he fully could see why I wanted to get DS done, so his solution to that problem was to get himself done too at the age of 33 (when he suggested his solution to the problem I think it was pretty much one of the only times in our 11 year marriage where I was speechless "jawdrop: ). Anyway, he got done five months ago. Trust me, it was much more aggressive than DS, who frankly hardly noticed using the plastibell method. As an adult, the word eggplant comes to mind, although it was less painful than it looked apparently. Also, as a man who has both had his foreskin and also been circumcised, he is happy to report that the common argument that not having a foreskin makes sex less pleasurable is utter crap - which is good to hear if that is one of your concerns (I know it was one of mine).

    I personally, would think that only getting one done when they are little might cause issues, particularly if they're twins. It would be different if one had to get done when they were older, but at this stage when your decision is based on being a preventative measure, I think it is either both or neither. It would be different the one with the kidney issue needed to have it done later, but like I said before it's a much more aggressive procedure then and he would have had to suffer multiple infections first before taking that route. But then again, he might not get infections even though his chances are higher.

    No easy answer really.

  5. #5

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    sorry Kelly I have no experience specifically with a medical condition but we did give it consideration and I think that if DS had had a medical condition that would be eased by doing it we would have. While it is far less common than it used to be it's still being done and the boys would be far from unusual if they were circumcised.

    And I would be inclined to get both done if you are getting one done.

  6. #6

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    That's a tricky situation hun. I think you need more information and it's likely that you won't be able to make a firm decision one way or the other until after your boys have been born. How certain are they that your bub has this condition? Sometimes they can't always be 100% prior to birth. What are the chances that he will have problems if he is left intact? What are the chances he will have problems if he is circumcised? If it were me, I'd want some pretty compelling evidence that circ was the best way to go. This is a really contentious issue and lots of people have lots of strong views one way or another, including the professionals that will be assessing your boys and advising you. I'm going to send you a PM about a place to get more information from. x

  7. #7

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    I don't think that it's both or neither. They are twins but They are also individuals. As They grow They will develop differant personalities, get differing hair cuts and mannerisms, get scars and their own styles. My cousins may be twins but I can tell them apart from miles away. If their penises don't match it's no biggy.

  8. #8

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    My DH was circumcised as an adult due to a medical condition & he said it would have been easier to get it done when he was younger. I have no idea why his parents didn't get him done younger - this condition he had since he was a kid.
    If it were me & It were my son, I would get all the facts in black & white and make a decision from there. I think you need to see what the % is for UTI and bladder infections - if it is minimal then maybe it is not worth it, but then again a child with a bladder infection would be very miserable and in alot of pain GL

  9. #9

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    I would want to look for evidence that circumcision was going to prevent or reduce UTIs/bladder infections.

    I would look into what else could be done to reduce the infections.

    And then i would have to assess all the info.

    If it was necessary for one child to be circumcised, i would not do the other child just because. Similarly, i wouldn't remove one child's tonsils bcause the other child's had to be removed

  10. #10

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    my ds had kidney renal issues and he was circum during his first operation as they needed to use his foreskin for recontruction.
    he didnt get a UTI until he hit school and now he has had over 50 of them over the past 4 years!!
    we were going to get him circ. anyway so it was no biggie
    a friend of mine has ID twins and one of her twins had hypospadias so they had to circumsize him to create a new uretha. so one of her boys is circum and the other isnt- other than that they are ID in every way. it tends to be more common for twins to have trouble in this dept esp the lower lying twin- its a room and a kicking each other thing!\\
    HTH and if you want any other info- just PM me

  11. #11

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    Is circumcision proven to reduce the risk of him getting UTI's etc? Unless there was reputable documented evidence proving circumcision was appropriate, there's no way I'd go ahead with it. As for getting both of them done, if you are only getting it done for medical reasons then why get the other one done if he has no medical reason for it? I personally would only get it done after I had done some in depth research that proved that it would be hugely beneficial - not just potentially beneficial iykwim? Good luck with your decision x

  12. #12

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    my opinion....

    IF one had to be done for medical reasons.... i wouldnt get the other done.
    while it is more painful later in life, he would be able to choose if he wanted this procedure for himself (and to be like his brother if that's what he wanted)

    i hope both boys are happy and healthy on their arrival
    good luck talking to the docs xxx

  13. #13

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    not the same thing but my oldest was circumcised 17 mths ago due to a tight foreskin that was causing major issue with peeing, we talked to the surgeon at the time about the possibility of Luke having the same problem he was 6weeks at the time the paed so not to worry bout Luke if he needs doing we will know by the time he is 3 yrs having seen Jack recover I have no hesitation in saying I would wait, Jack now at 4 1/2 yrs tells us that yes it hurt but it wasn't a painful hurt more uncomfortable, so unless you dr suggest a cirumsion I'd wait and I certainly wouldn't get twin a done just to be the same does that make sense

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