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thread: Ok, I'm not coping here...

  1. #1
    BellyBelly Member

    Nov 2008
    Perth, WA
    2,315

    Ok, I'm not coping here...

    I hate even admitting this, but I'm not coping. DS2 doesn't sleep beyond 15 minutes, only if being held and stirs at my slightest movement. He cries or screams if I put him down for even a second, so I don't... That means I can't eat properly, get meals for DS1, even go to the loo. I feel so out of control, so powerless to help him.



    What do I do?

  2. #2
    BellyBelly Member

    Jul 2009
    1,973

    Re: Ok, I'm not coping here...

    Big big hugs honey :/

    Do you have a sling or wrap ?

  3. #3
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Jan 2006
    11,633

    Re: Ok, I'm not coping here...

    Oh dear
    You definitely need a sling of some sort and then teach your helpers to use it, also. Do you have helpers? That's the other thing you really need.

  4. #4
    BellyBelly Member

    Jul 2005
    Sydney
    7,896

    Ok, I'm not coping here...

    Oh hun, wish I was closer.

    I wouldn't bother worrying about naps in his bed. I wore DD2 in a wrap or sling for all of her naps for her first three months or so (not for reflux, just would not sleep without me). 40 mins was the best she ever did for about 12 mths. I know you have a dodgy back, so I'd try to find a group of babywearers near you who can help you out with different carries and carriers to find what works for you. When your DH or anyone you trust is around, give DS2 to them to hold if that helps you get things done.

    And def call on anyone who's offered help, food, shopping, or babysitting until you are on your feet. Don't be embarrassed to ask for a bit of a hand - you've got a tougher gig than you expected.

  5. #5
    BellyBelly Member

    Feb 2010
    on a big patch of paradise.
    3,720

    Re: Ok, I'm not coping here...

    Big big hugs for you hun.

    DS was the same, and he was not a fan of my sling and only tolerated my carrier for very short periods too. One day when he was sounding a bit congested I layed him on his belly next to me on the bed to pat his back and he feel asleep and stayed asleep for hours. since that day his has slept on his belly. It took me weeks to relax with him tummy sleeping though and I know it is not for everyone to try, just thought I would share what helped me. Also with DD1 she loved her bouncer because it vibrated.

  6. #6
    BellyBelly Member

    Jul 2005
    Sydney
    7,896

    Re: Ok, I'm not coping here...

    DD2 was a tummy sleeper too, Kazzo! Did the trick for us eventually. Not sure about how that affects reflux though.

  7. #7
    BellyBelly Member

    Feb 2010
    on a big patch of paradise.
    3,720

    Re: Ok, I'm not coping here...

    It seemed to help DS, atleast I think it did. He really improved with his reflux around the same time and by 10 weeks we stopped using Losec. I think though that it was Colic that made DS more uncomfortable and the pressure on his tummy helped him.

  8. #8
    BellyBelly Member

    Oct 2007
    Middle Victoria
    8,924

    Re: Ok, I'm not coping here...

    My DH used to take DD (and later DS) for a walk in the carrier many late arvos/early evenings. It gave me half an hour or so without the incessant noise. Is this a possibility? Sometimes, a different body and the warmth and movement even settled them for a little while.

    take care, its tough. i'm a bit scared #3 is going to be similar.

  9. #9
    BellyBelly Member

    Nov 2008
    Perth, WA
    2,315

    Re: Ok, I'm not coping here...

    Thanks everyone, it's nice to have people to vent to...

    Not sure about the tummy sleep. Tried it once and he wasn't happy, but, might try again.

    He's just way too hot to wear - our air con is passable, but not great and he's always so hot from his wriggling around and crying. HeI do try most days though. And yeah, my back is stuffed, so now wearing him hurts. Carrying him hurts too

    Helpers are DS1 and DH. Both are as awesome as they can be, but DH can't be here all day. His work is already suffering because he's spending extra time here in the mornings. And yep, he gets home from work, baths both boys, makes or finishes dinner, puts DS2 to bed some days and DS every day. A lovely new friend has offered to walk DS1 to kindy if I need her to (our boys are in the same class) and made us a casserole too. She has her own little one too, though, so is doing all she can.

    We have a vibrating bouncer thing - he did 10 mins last week, but screams in it now. Screams in the pram, the car, the bassinet and now even on the floor mat (he was enjoying having 10 mins twice a day there last week).

    He's just slept for 30 mins in my lap (longest nap in four days, yay!) woke up farting and pooping - this is what usually wakes him, though he's not writhing in pain like he often does. Looked like he was going to nod off again (ok, not really, but I can hope!) but no such luck...

  10. #10
    BellyBelly Member

    Aug 2010
    Sydney Aus
    1,164

    Re: Ok, I'm not coping here...

    Just popping in to give you a hug, these newborns can be troublemakers can't they

  11. #11
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Jan 2006
    11,633

    Re: Ok, I'm not coping here...

    Oh, I forgot about your back!
    Do you have any other family or friends around? Could you pay someone to help occasionally?

  12. #12
    BellyBelly Member

    Dec 2006
    Melbourne
    3,737

    Re: Ok, I'm not coping here...

    Ds was like that he was such a difficult little thing! What worked for us was a chiropractor who did gentle adjustments and we also discovered he had reflux he was a different baby once we had both those sorted.

  13. #13
    BellyBelly Member

    Oct 2007
    Middle Victoria
    8,924

    Re: Ok, I'm not coping here...

    does he like the bath? dd, ds and I jumped in the bath together some days. helped to settle him and kept dd occupied and I could chill for a bit.

  14. #14
    BellyBelly Member

    Jan 2011
    2,075

    Re: Ok, I'm not coping here...

    Do you wrap him? Dd1 was the same. A child youth nurse showed me how to wrap so they can't get out and it made all the difference! She slept longer during the day and starting sleeping better at night.

    I've been wrapping dd2 the same nowand it's been a complete difference to the early days with dd1.

    Does he like the pram? Sometimes I would rock dd1 and she'd sleep ok in there.

  15. #15
    BellyBelly Member

    Nov 2008
    Perth, WA
    2,315

    Re: Ok, I'm not coping here...

    Well, it seems he can read....he slept on me for hour earlier (which was enough that I could put him down for 5 mins to get our lunches), then had a feed and fell asleep, on his tummy for just under 1.5 hrs....then slept another 15mins when I put him down to duck to the loo! Which means I now have a happy little guy who let me change his nappy without tears and is now feeding happily....and it's arsenic hour!

    BR - We see a chiro too.he slept well after his last adjustment, might need another...

    Hot I - the bath could work, Ta!

    Little O - he's better than Houdini at escaping from wraps, but yes, we do wrap - it definitely helps.

    The CHN said there was home help available, but didn't give me the info...will look into it, I think. Can't really afford to pay anyone, but might have to make it work if we need to. All our family is interstate unfortunately, though mum has offered to come back...don't really want her full time though iykwim?

  16. #16
    BellyBelly Member

    Feb 2010
    on a big patch of paradise.
    3,720

    Re: Ok, I'm not coping here...

    That is a good sleep. I bet it felt great for you too

  17. #17
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Mar 2007
    6,900

    Re: Ok, I'm not coping here...

    Yay JLeigh! Glad you had a better day today xx

  18. #18
    BellyBelly Member

    Jan 2011
    2,075

    Re: Ok, I'm not coping here...

    That is so good jleigh!

    Just wanted to add you don't have to feel bad about saying you don't feel like you're not coping! That's just part of being a mum sometimes

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