Can babies just not like sleeping?

Hi Cheekymonkey
Sorry to hear about your struggles with your DS,it sounds like you are an amazing mother and reaIly trying everything to help him.Its sooo hard when you have a 'non-sleeper' and I think you can only truely understand whats it like when you've been there.I hope your family are more helpful than your DH's :)

Your post really made me feel for you about the no BF as a tool for soothing.I sometimes feel abit resentful at having to be the one to go to DD and feed her during the night(I'm BFing) while DH is sound to sleep but to be honest I do use it as a 'quick fix'.So a big well done to you :)

Good luck with the homeopath,hope it helps

Come on in CheekyMonkey, the bed is warm.

I'm going to have a bit of a whinge here, sorry girls. I'm really struggling at the moment, the past couple of days to week Savannah has really thrown sleeping out the window. We're down to one half an hour nap a day, and to top it off, her night sleeping has gone out the window. Three nights in a row she was waking every 20 minutes, and wouldn't let me leave the room again without getting upset. Over night she's been waking every hour, and from 4am onwards just isn't settling. She was up at 5:30am the other morning!

I feel like I'm not getting a break anywhere - she doesn't sleep during the day, she fights sleep going down at night, wakes all night and is up at the crack of dawn. At least give me ONE break somewhere.

To make my life just so much better, my right boob seems to be doing... something. I think it's actually causing a lot of the problems over night. It feels full, like rock hard in some spots, but I don't think it's emptying properly. I have all these hard lumps, but expressing (either via the pump or my hand) does nothing. So I don't think Savannah is getting enough to eat, and thus, not sleeping properly. And of course me, in my tired it's 4am go back to sleep state, don't realise and keep putting her on the same side because "oh, that's the full one".

I'm having a real "I feel like such a failure" day today. A lot of is due to a family get together yesterday which, urg, was not good. Especially with a very old fashioned MIL and a SIL who completely agrees with her. Gee I ticked both of them off yesterday when I didn't bow down and kiss their feet for showing me the light that controlled crying, lots of noise when sleeping and drugging with nurofen where the answers to my prayers.

And then today I wanted Krispy Kreme donuts and she started crying the second we were in the car because she was so tired. Waaaa! No fair! :cryinglaugh:

:

---

think it might be teeth but I feel like Im always blaming teeth

---

At the rate I blame teeth, Savannah should have 50 by now!

:

---

BTW, wrt Science of Parenting: a baby who has never cried (I really believe that one) compared to a baby who is in an orphanage from birth and probably not had much cuddling or love. I think no parent here will hit either extreme no matter what they do, but it is saying it is better to show love and respond to a baby's distress than not. So you drop the ball 1% of the time, that isn't going to scar your child for life.

---

I think this is the biggest problem (my problem) with reading the Science of Parenting. It made me think that Savannah could never cry. That any time she even started to get distressed (and I mean the real crying, not the sooky whinge crying) that stress chemicals were washing over her brain doing irreparable damage. Then every time I get frustrated or raise my voice a little, I worry that she's "loving in torment" and what that's doing to her. Basically after reading the book I feel like every time I do something it says you shouldn't do, even for 5 seconds, I'm stuffing Savannah up.

Eugh - I had DH away this weekend. DS didn't go to sleep until 9-9.30 both nights. He woke up stupid early too (6.15 and 5.15). But at least only woke up when upstairs went to bed and not all night. I'll admit I did let him do some crying after screaming at him (literally at one point), then felt guilty so went back, kissed him and snuggled down in bed with him. He played for an hour then went off to sleep happily, very little work. But still too late and too much fighting. Then DH came home and he was off to sleep as normal at quarter to eight last night, I hate those boys sometimes.

Drugging up doesn't work. Because baby neurofen has in sugar, E122 and Sunshine yellow, the three biggies for hyperactivity. Give you baby a hyperactive fit just before bed? Yup, that really works. I won't have it in the house. Yes, I give alternatives but VERY rarely; he has pain, he deals with it. Better a bit of pain than a screaming mama in my eyes!

Everyone gets stressed sometimes, adults and babies. OK, so it's not great and not ideal, but it happens. It happens no matter what we do. We just do the best we can. When does a child tell a mother that the best wasn't good enough. Prioritising children over extended family (parents and brothers) shouldn't happen?

If you were letting your child cry for you while you ran around after your mother, who has three other children, two of whom can drive and one of whom is married, still living at home, then that's something you can be accountable for. If you let your (admittedly adult) child cry for you as you dismiss her and buy your brother a house, you will be held to account for that. If you love your child but struggle every once in a while, that's going to be understood and even expected. Not to say we shouldn't strive to do better, but I promise it won't hurt your child.

I'm joining this thread.
I must say I am depressed to read about all your bubs who don't sleep as my DS is only 6 months old & I really really really am living in delusional hope that it will get better....
I don't know how we can live on such little sleep for so long.
One of the above posts really rang true on the mother in law front- they have forgotten what it's like and don't have any understanding of how hard it is to function on next to no zzzzzzz- I would really like my MIL to say I'm doing a good job.....
blech- so depressed...

Hi ladies :)

Just really need to have a whinge...Stella has also decided she doesnt need any sleep during the day now too! It was fine yesterday,she managed to keep a smile on her face all day (although there definatley was not one on mine!) and ended up crashing out about 5ish when we went for a walk (so then of course she wasnt ready to go to bed at 7 aaaagrh!) She'd had about half an hour earlier in the day but it took me an hour just to get that out of her! So today was mothers group at my house and all I wanted was for her to have her usual 30mins before everyone got there so she would be happy (she's almost always the first one to chuck a paddy :( ).Well I only got 20mins from her and I had to spend 45mins trying to get that and I was trying to get myself ready aswell as clean the house and prepare lunch-so stressfull! Anyway she wasnt to bad to start with but then got grizzly and upset. We had been talking about solids and how much they need etc and I said maybe I'll start giving Stella abit more to see if that helps at all...then one of the girls said 'yeah you should cos she's always crying isnt she?' I was crushed :( I know she didnt mean it in a nasty way but I hate that she thinks that of Stella!
So thats my whinge,thanks for listening(well reading :) )

Haydies-you are definatley not a failure in my eyes you are a legend 'cos you started this thread and I cant tell you how nice it is to feel like I've got somewhere to go and vent,and where others understand what I'm going thru,so thanks x

Big :hug: Ness! Why could I live in Perth hey? I so understand the stress you get when you're wanting to do something and you can't get them to settle. I always try to remind myself that housework/showering lol) and everything else can just wait... but when you've got people coming over it's impossible (for me anyway) to not stress about the state of the house etc. Especially when it's other mothers that always seem to have it sorted, you never want to be 'that mother' that looks like she's not coping.

:

---

then one of the girls said 'yeah you should cos she's always crying isnt she?' I was crushed I know she didnt mean it in a nasty way but I hate that she thinks that of Stella!

---

Oh no. Even though she didn't mean it nastily, it still hurts to hear something like that. Especially since Stella's not always like that, why can't babies just put on happy faces for visitors lol. I have the same thing with Savannah - at home we're smiles and giggles and happiness. We go out and she just glares at everyone haha.

I'd love solids to be part of our answer, but Savannah is just not interested. We're getting better, for example she ate half a piece of toast this morning and yesterday, and she like her Savoys (one a day), but that's all I can get into her at the moment.

Apply and Blueberry cereal (jar) got a good go once, but the next two days she would have one taste and then not want anymore. Everything else is getting the same treatment - comes in mouth open, tastes, then burries her face into my shoulder for every attempt after that.

If only I could stuff her little belly full she might want a sleep, I know I always do LOL.

I'm currently sitting here listening to Savannah hiccup in the other room lol. Daddy is in with her. She crashed at 3:30pm this afternoon!! She stirred four times between then and now, but lol it's 10:30pm and she's already had 7 hours sleep! Oh boy what time will she wake up in the morning? :rolleyes:

Course, was mostly my fault (yes, her sleeping can also be my fault lol. I've been sooooo tired this past week than when she shut her eyes at 3:30, which I thought was going to be our second! nap for the day, I let out this huge sigh of relief and BAM, I was out like a light. The downside of co-sleeping, I lay down for naps too. :lol:

Savannah woke after her 30 minutes, almost to the second, but came in for cuddles and within a minute or two was drifting back off to sleep.... as was I haha. I ended up waking again just after 5pm and snuck out of bed.

At least the good thing is she's happy in there at the moment. Awake, and hiccuping (so cute), but not crying or grizzling. Just happy to lie there with daddy, every now and then making little tired talking noises.

I think we should declare this thread our little venting thread. We can be our own 'babies who fight sleep' group. :D

Welcome to our 'group' lullabyblue heh. :hug: Although I'm going through a particularly 'bleh' stage with Savannah's sleeping at the moment, we have had good times as well. Not many mind you, and she's never "slept through", but I've had a week here, a week there, etc where she's gone down at 6pm at night and only woken once before I headed to bed myself. I love those nights. I want more of them lol.

Of course, it's kinda sad that I think of a 'good' nights sleep as only waking twice heh.

:

---

Drugging up doesn't work. Because baby neurofen has in sugar, E122 and Sunshine yellow, the three biggies for hyperactivity. Give you baby a hyperactive fit just before bed? Yup, that really works. I won't have it in the house. Yes, I give alternatives but VERY rarely; he has pain, he deals with it. Better a bit of pain than a screaming mama in my eyes!

---

Thankyou, thankyou THANKYOU for posting about those ingredients! DH did the dreaded "well maybe you should try it if it works for SIL" last night, and when I read this out he was like "oh, she's not having it!"

I don't like giving any sort of 'drugs' to Savannah if I can help it. I'm the same with my own body. Unless of course it's really bad, but I don't want to just shove panadol into her when ever she grizzles or if I think she's in pain. I even hold back on the Bonjela and really, only give it at night and only if she's appearing to be really struggling. If I dove straight for the panadol (or nurofen) every time I thought her teeth hurt, she'd be permanently drinking it.

A cold facewasher, a teething ring, a rusk, a packet of frozen pees, my boob - all get a go before I turn to the medicine cabinet. Then again, maybe people look at me as horrendously cruel (as my SIL did) because I don't automatically numb her discomfort.

Good idea Haydies - I decided to make a social group for us all so we can have a general chat there.

If you don't know about social groups, click on "user profile" (just under the BB logo at the top left) then social groups on the left hand menu.

Housework, btw - I keep the sitting room clean and close all the other doors! See, I'm super-mum!

Hi Ladies

So hows everyone going? I have to say things have been abit better here (dare I speak to soon!).I always feel abit better at the start of the week having had DH home on the weekend (he works away during the week).Yesterday DH took Stella in the morning so I could have a sleep in (yay!) and she had 40mins when he put her down for nap,then just after lunch I put her down for a nap,she went to sleep without a fuss and slept for 1hour and a half!! Im not complaining but what the?! Anyway she's back to the 30min sleeps today but her nights are slowly improving.I've been giving her 3 meals a day and she loves her food,still no sleep thru but she seems to be able to get from 6.30pm till about 10.30pm with only a few cries for the dummy which is a big improvement for her! I feed her then she'll go til about 4/5am so I have hope that one day she'll get there :)

Well hope you're all well x

Hi girls!

Well things are 'ok' at this end. Not fantastic, not super bad. Last night was a shocker with Savannah waking every hour since she went to bed. Of course, after only having one half an hour nap at 10am in the morning, it was no surprise she was so over tired. That doesn't make it any more frustrating, especially since I had stuff to do last night. And daddy just wasn't cutting it last night, it was all mummy time...

That said, the night before last she only woke once!

DH also took Savannah on Monday morning and I got another hour and a half sleep! Course, our solids have gone completely out the window the past two days. She was doing so well last week, but hasn't wanted anything since Friday.

@Cheekymonkey - Replied to you in the social group thingy. *hugs*

Oh yes, P.S. Savannah is now walking, like everywhere! Only started on Friday, and she's been practicing all weekend. So that might contribute to no interest in food?