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Huge hugs hun. You have persevered amazingly! But based on what you're saying, you just can't go on like this. Not sure what state you're in so not sure what sleep schools there are available to you, but you need to visit your GP or MCHN and let them know what's happening. If they don't listen then keep visiting new ones until you find one who does. And you need a really good multivitamin to address some of your own needs. Life doesn't have to be this hard - and it WILL get easier for you hun.
Keep us posted. xo
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Seriously I think you are doing an amazing job.
I also think that you want to stay on the gentle parenting path or you would just have googled CIO and have been done with it.
I think you need a king size bed, with a bed gate/fence thing do you are happy to sleep with both the kids.
DH needs a king size boot up the bum for not helping support you!
I too have had bad sleepers and I was going to suggest the tummy issues. Please look into this some more, it saved my sanity. They aren't great but I can manage.
Also rather than see things as 'you have created this situation' I'd flip that and say 'thank god you're a gentle parenting person' what trauma would your kids have faced if you were a CIO mum? They need you at night. It's not great that they do but it part of our job. BUT you need support to be able to do this 24hrs a day.
This mummy job sucks some days and you really deserve an award. Hugs
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Also sometimes I just needed to vent and people's solutions just did my head in. If you need to hear it then let me say 'you don't need to change a thing, you aren't doing anything wrong, and yes it's bloody horrible being so sleep deprived'
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WOW, i just had to comment cause i think you are doing an amazing job and clearly doing it tough...and on your own!!
DD is a pretty good sleeper but will go through phases of not being able to sleep through the night. when it was just her it wasnt too hard, id just sleep in with her, or her with me. Now with dd2 its harder, four in a bed is a squeeze, i have one of those toddler rails on the side of the bed, and it goes bed rail, dd2 (8 months) me, dd1 (3yrs) dh. BUT dd1 is getting so big and sleeps like a star fish, so dd2 and i often go into dd1s bed...bit confusing, and not really much help to you anyway, my point is, you do what ever works for YOU. and as you are the only one who does anything regarding sleep, that means YOU and not DH. can you ask his parents for the bed back, dont know what sort of relationship you have with them, but i think you need to go around him. can you borrow a bed off someone, or get a new/second hand one of your own. even just a mattress, then you could put that and ds single mattress together on the floor in a spare room (if you have one).
i really hope the health problems get sorted and that solves the problems. havnt read all the above comments, scanned through most, but have you thought about a chiropractor, i have heard so many great things, if i was in your situation, and clearly willing to try ANYTHING, id give it a shot!
good luck, BIG hugs, you rock!!!
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Thanks for all your replies, a little bit of support and encouragement means a lot to me. We are actually asking for everyone to put money towards our bed fund for Chrissy for presents for us so we are hoping to have enough money for a king bed after that, hopefully that will make a huge difference and all 4 of us can fit in the one bed then.
But thanks for all the encouragement ladies. I'll look into a chiropractor. I'm not sure what we have here in town but it might be worth looking into.
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Well said Tegam!
That's a good idea about the bed too. Could you make it a mattress on floor job? Gives you more room as you don't need to worry so much about people falling out.
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Very well said Tegam! I just tried to give you rep points but it said I have to "spread the love"
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on the sidecar-cot thing, we ended up buying a specially cut piece of foam to stick in teh gap (as they were not flush), if the mattresses don't meet, you could move the cot mattress over so it's up flush with the bed (maybe have to put something under it so it doesn't sag - I have towels in there) and stuff towels etc in the gap on the other side of the cot. (does that make sense?) We were able to adjust the height of the cot mattress slightly so it's almost the same level. Missy just rolls out of there and into bed now anyway, but it might give you more room. HEy, maybe your DS will sleep in there? Or your DH.... :lol:
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A side car cot helped my LO learn to sleep in her own bed too. At first it was only for short periods, but over time she gradually increased the time that she slept in there before crawling in to me.
although, i do like the idea of your DH sleeping in it :think:
Tegam, had some wise words in her post too (had to share the love!)
take care
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Mumofboys
Sounds like you are doing a great job!
It's not easy when you have clingy babies (and I don't mean that as a bad thing) my 3 are all cuddly clingy kids. As for DH mine has been the same, especially with the older ones, but I've had talks with him about parenting & making sure we are on the same page! After many shouting matches & humdinger arguments we are finally seeing parenting the same way. If you can find some good parenting books/videos aimed at dads (even by dads). Also if you can go to a mum support group it helps, its different than a playgroup as it is all about mums getting a coffee & chat with other mums. At mine we also get the dads together when we can (BBQs & stuff) that way they can see different fathering styles.
I hope you can get some rest soon.
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I'm not sure where you are, but if you have Triple P in your area it might be worth looking into. Our MCHN gave us some fact sheets that I've found really helpful. The one called Sleep Problems gave three options - the CIO, a middle of the road and a gentle option. A few of the mum's in my mum's group, and me too, found it was a big help just to have it there and re-read it, especially when we were in the middle of sleep issues. It was reassuring to know that we obviously weren't the only ones with issues because they'd written a leaflet on it, lol! They run courses too, online ones even, though a lot of the topics are behaviour-related.
Our whole family goes to a chiro once a fortnight and I couldn't recommend it more highly.
I too think you're doing a great job - don't think for a minute that my advice means otherwise. If you and your DH will be happy in a bigger bed with all your kids, then I think that it will make a big difference to you. I truly feel for you and hope you get some rest and a break soon! ;)
