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Thread: Just wanted to know I wasn't the only co-sleeper :)

  1. #1

    Default Just wanted to know I wasn't the only co-sleeper :)

    I have been co-sleepin with my now 19month DD since she was 11 months old. She slept O.K in her cot uptill then with usually 1-2 wakes a night for a BF untill she got sick at 11 mths and we (DH & I) decided it would be easier to just sleep in with DD in our spare queen bed. 8 months later and i still havent got out. I used to feel so trapped in that room because my DD had got so accustomed to sleeping with me that she would not sleep alone and after 24 hours of full on contact i felt that there was no time to just stop and have a breather and just be me (does that make me sound terrible??) .... I also now think i felt the pressure to get out because none of the other mummies that i know would ever dream of doing such a thing (or so they tell me anyway.....)
    Anyway i think i may be getting slightly off track ... as i have a tendancy of doing at 10.30 at night lol But just wanted to hear if there was any other mummies out there that are co -sleeping and more to the point away from your OH and how you went about going back to your own bed ...
    Oh thought i should mention that we decided together that i would sleep in the spare bed as husband was working 12 hour days. He also had a fear (and still does) of suffocating our DD as His uncle had suffocated a child by rolling on top of it many years ago ....

    Hope this makes sense lol x


  2. #2

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    I'm a bit tired at the moment, so I can't get to all your points but I will assure you that you're definitely not alone in cosleeping/bedsharing

    You'll find a great deal of us in BB land are bedsharers, even more stick to the "proper" definition of co-sleeping (sleeping with bub in the same room but not necessarily in the same bed) and pretty much everyone has fallen asleep near their child at some point

  3. #3

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    I've been sleeping with my daughter since she was 6 weeks. She's almost 8 months now and we are slowly getting her used to her cot which is at the end of our bed.
    I love cosleeping, I only wish she wouldn't wake so often for feeds as I am hoping to have her weaned of her night boob by 12 months.... This probably won't happen though :-)

  4. #4

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    I have co slept with all of my kids. At the moment I am bed sharing with DS2, DD2 & DD3 - DH is away for work until Friday.

    Because we have so many in the bed sometimes we took the side of the cot and put it against our bed. TBH, DD3 doesn't sleep in it. She sleeps in my arms but DD2 does sleep in it when she is in with us and I sometimes end up half in there.

    The other way we made it work was to sleep head to toe with each other. It doesn't work for everyone but it certainly has for us.

    I love sleeping with my babies and I am secretly wishing for DD3 to get the independence that DD2 got and will start wanting to sleep in the cot with the side on and away from our bed.

  5. #5

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    not alone! DS sleeps in our bed or with me in his big boy bed when I want a bit more room! We have done so since he was 3 days old. I spent the 3 days before that sleeping sitting up, terrified, with him happily on my chest. Then a friend told me how to sleep safely with him in our bed and then the LC taught me how to breastfeed lying down (when he was a little older) and we have never looked back! He now sleeps through but even when he did wake every couple of hours, I barely felt it as I didn't have to get out of bed or even really sit up.

  6. #6

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    Not alone! We shared the bed with DD from the very first day she was born. At first it was my DD, my DH and myself, but now we are separated and DD is bigger, so it's just DD and I.

  7. #7

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    i co-slept with my DS from about 5 months till he was about 2ish. then he decided that he'd like to sleep in his own bed! he's 2.5 now & will come into our bed if he wakes up during the night. i often felt a bit trapped, like you, but i tried to take full advantage of naptimes (esp when it became one long nap) - not alot of housework was done but i felt it was more important to have some me time & a break.

    from 5 months till 20 months DS & i co-slept in another room from my DP. it was a bit frustrating sometimes but DS snores less, so that's one bonus but we DP & i did get time together after DS had gone to bed & that time has increased as we've gone on & DS has got older.

    tbh, i know i was often frustrated at the time & felt like it may be forever but in hindsight the time passed very quickly. and looking over at them while they're sleeping is so lovely - makes me forget any mischief & havoc that has been created during the day!!

  8. #8

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    We co-sleep but thats with DH and I with DD in the middle. We have done this since DD was 4months old. We did it with our first DD who is now 5 and she still sneaks in although now we make her get in baby DD's cot which is against the bed as we don't want big DD kicking baby DD (big DD thrashes around alot). She is in the cot 50% of the time and in her own bed the other 50%. It works well for us and will help DH when I return to night shift (930pm until 730am). At this stage we have no plans on moving baby DD out and when she does maybe she will share with her sister as they both like to bedshare. That may change if I decide to ttc again as I would be worried about getting kicked by DD when I was pregnant. When I was pregnant with my last bub we really started getting big DD into her own bed for this reason as well as to prepare her for not always bedsharing with us when we knew another baby would need to come in (for BF's) We didn't want her thinking she had been turfed out when the new baby arrived.

  9. #9

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    No alone
    I co-slept with DD from age 1 until 3.5years old. Unfortunately had to put her in her own bed room as she would kick me quite often so i wouldnt get much sleep.

    I absolutely loved co-sleeping with DD and even now goes and cuddles her in her bed. Loved just being able to hug her and the warmth of her near me.

  10. #10

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    Certainly not alone! There are plenty of parents who openly co-sleep and/or bedshare, and I suspect because the guidelines are so strict about having baby in their own bed, that there are more parents who have done it but don't admit it. No-one else in my Mother's Group has said that they bedshare, but at least one has bub in a cot in their room.

    AFM, DD has been in our room from day 1. If she's waking a lot she comes in to bed so I don't have to keep getting up lol. The last two nights though, it's DH who's been the problem! Two nights ago DD was in bed and DH was dreaming that he was lying on the floor in the lounge playing with her. I keep my arm around her so neither of us can get too close, and DH started playing with my arm! Then he found DD, started playing with her and woke her up. Last night DD slept pretty well and was in her own cot, I was fast asleep, when suddenly DH was tapping my head and shaking me, saying "you rolled all the way over". I thought so what?! Let me sleep! Turns out he was dreaming I'd rolled onto DD and was trying to get me off her!

    But yeah, other than those two things, we're loving having her so close We won't start to transition to her own room for nights until after 12 months.

  11. #11

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    Another co-sleeper/bed sharer here. Miss P has slept in my arms from day 1, all warm and fluffy, snuggled up against my chest! Technically DH sleeps with us but he always gives DD1 and DS a cuddle when they go to bed at night and he often falls asleep with them so I just leave him!

    We also co slept with DD1, she went into her own bed at about 3. We would have co slept with DS but he didn't like it, preferred his own space at night. DH was concerned about rolling on DD and has told me that this is why he often goes to sleep in bed with one of the big kids. DD sleeps so snuggled up against me that DH would have to lie on top of me to squash her! We do have a big king sized bed so there is plenty of room for everyone - we have woken up in the morning with our bed full; me, DH, DD2 snuggled up to me, DD1 on the other side of me, DS on the other side of DH, the cat squished in around someone's back and the dog at our feet!!

    I don't think my quality of sleep is as good with DD in the bed as I am constantly aware of where she is, but it's worth it for the snuggles!

  12. #12

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    We co-slept/bed shared full time up till DD was 18 months old. DD now has her own bed in her own room, but still comes in to us some mornings or some nights. My DH works shift work and when he is on night shift DD will sometimes start the night in her room but then come in to our room.

    My next little one will also be sleeping in our room, either in a hammock or in our bed, as our DD did. I would love for the two kids to share a room, and potentially a bed, when they are big enough.

  13. #13

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    We co-sleep (sort of). DD starts off in her own bed and most nights she wanders down to us and sleeps in the middle of DH & I. Sometimes if she is particularly restless, one of us will top and tail her. DH doesn't really like co-sleeping but I quite like it. Initially I was against bed sharing with anyone other than DH but I find it easier, we all get some sort of sleep. DH often asks DD if she will sleep in her own bed all night to which she replies 'no!'. He asks why & she just says because she wants to cuddle us or because she won't! Gotta love her honesty. Like I said to DH she will sleep in her own bed all through the night (she does sometimes) one day soon. (he is somewhat sceptical, haha)

  14. #14

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    It's a big no-no in our culture, but the truth is a large proportion of parents do do it, at least at some time or other. Why? Because it is often the best way for everyone to sleep.

    From a biological perspective (and in many other cultures for that matter) it is a perfectly natural sleeping arrangement.

    I slept in another room with DS for quite a while. then around 2 he was ready to just sleep by himself. no dramas. no 'training', he was just ready.
    Now DH sleeps elsewhere and DD sleeps in with me. She'll go to her own room when she's ready.

  15. #15

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    Thank you so much everyone! I literally have tears in my eyes at the moment reading these. For the first time in about 8mths i feel like i wasnt being judged for choosing
    1. to sleep and snuggle with my little bundle and 2. to get better sleep!
    It makes me feel like I might be doing an o.k job after all.
    You have no idea how much you have all just lifted my day.
    Thankyou x

  16. #16

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    we have a cot with one side removed up against our bed - DS sleeps there within arms reach of me. He usually wakes at around 6am for a feed - once he's done we go back to sleep together with him in my arms in our bed. We've done this since the day he was born. He's a very content and happy baby, and is also very independent and outgoing - happy to cuddle strangers and happily entertains himself playing several times through the day. Neither DH nor I have felt at all sleep deprived since he came along - it makes night feeds so much easier (I imagine!)

  17. #17

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    I'm so glad you're feeling better about it all Claires Mummy, it sounds as though you are doing a fantastic job with her It in the end, it doesn't matter what any of your friends are doing, does it? All that matters is that you're doing what's best for your family And yes, those sleepy baby snuggles are fantastic aren't they!

  18. #18

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    Our oldest shared a room with us for the first 6 months, but he never settled in our bed. Even now he won't come into our bed if he's unwell or had a bad dream.

    Our newborn also shares our room but he sleeps in our bed at some point or another overnight. Last night he started off in our bed, had a few hours in his own and came back in the wee hours of the morning. I love having him snuggled up with me and am always thrilled when he wakes up for a cuddle!

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