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Thread: Losing my mind

  1. #1

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    Default Losing my mind

    Or at least it feels like it!



    DS is 19 months old, has never slept through and since 6 months old has woken every 1-2 hours every single night. A lot of his issues were teething, and possibly reflux from 10-15 months old. It took us 6 months of waiting to get a pediatrician appointment to look into it (stupid public waiting system!), which was a few weeks ago and he said it was likely reflux with the issues he had back then. Things have slowly improved though (with regards to the reflux symptoms, not sleeping) in the time we were waiting so he didnt feel the need to look into it further. (and I had seen our doctor numerous times in that 6 months of waiting, each time I mentioned reflux he said to wait for the pediatrician appointment. I also saw 2 other dr's who said the same thing.)

    I just feel like I am at the end of my sanity. I feel like I am not coping, but I am as I am getting through each day itms. DS will only settle for me at night, and only if I breastfeed him. I tried last week to settle him without a feed, and he got hysterical and very very upset (it was much more than protesting, he was seriously rattled by it and I only tried for 10mins!). About 6 weeks ago he was down to 6 breastfeeds a day, and only waking 3 times overnight which was glorious!! It only last about 4 nights though, then he got sick. he was sick a couple of times over August, but has been well the last 2 weeks. But he is feeding CONSTANTLY. He will pull a boob out during the day and latch on if I let him, even if he had it 20mins ago. He is waking hourly overnight, sometimes more. Last night he woke 4 times in an hour. Tonight he has been in bed 3 hours and has woken 4 times already. His day sleeps are practically not existent, he is lucky to sleep an hour. Sometimes (its 50/50) I can feed him back to sleep for another 30-60mins but I have to stay next to him as he wakes if I take my nipple out his mouth. I am just getting very very exhausted from it all.

    I have tried cutting dairy out of my diet, which I saw small differences with doing so, but again each time I bought it up with my dr's they said wait for the specialist appointment. So I would go back to having cows milk (he seems fine with yoghurt and cheese, he sleep gets worse if he drinks it straight) not knowing wtf I was doing, things would seem the same for a couple of weeks before slowly getting worse again. We are now again off cows milk, have been a couple of weeks but not noticing a difference yet (but I know it can take up a few weeks).

    I just feel so lost. I know his waking could be a lot out of habit now, but i cant stop thinking about what if there is something else going on? I have no idea where to go though because I have asked and asked but been ignored! We have an allergist referral for something else (horse hair), can I ask them to test for other things too when I see them to discuss it? Would be good to know either way if there is something food wise setting him off.
    Sleep school is out of the question, not only do I think atm it would be too traumatic for him, DP is dead set against it.

    I am sorry this is so long and rambling, I just need to get it out and clear my head a little

  2. #2

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    A few things that helped me when we were here:

    Switch to goat milk rather than cow.
    Porrige before bedtime will fill up the tummy and stop him feeding so much at night.
    Is a dummy worth trying if he just needs to suck while he sleeps?
    If you're not comfortable with feeding so much, can you offer fruit/flapjack/vegetables or whatever food you think best?

    Liebling dropped his day sleeps at about 16m and sometimes only needed 3 hours overnight. If you can roll with it, teach him to play quietly while you sleep on the sofa. Curl up on the sofa/in bed with his favourite film and sleep as he watches. And who cares about "children shouldn't watch TV" - children also should sleep and let their mothers sleep. If that isn't happening, you need some survival skills.

    Don't pin your hopes on the allergy appointment - the one we had asked me which allergies Liebling had, when I said that's what I was here to find out they said they'd only test for what I said he was allergic to. Which, to my mind, was stupid: I don't know what the problem is. And they don't test for intolerances, only allergies.

  3. #3

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    i could have written that post myself. 18 mo DD2...would feed 24/7 if i let her. im trying to just go with it and hope things get better soon but its starting to drag on a little bit!! hugs. lets hope things change and fast!!

  4. #4

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    I'm weaning DD3 at the moment. Its going to be a looooong process. She's been off day feeds for 2 weeks now & still gets upset most of the time. Some times though, she'll just crash out. She had it on tap. If she wanted it, she got it, tired or not. I am just working on the day feeds, because I have the patience to rock/walk her around the house. With a bounce in my step! The night times though... whole different story. The few times I've tried to say no, the same as I do through the day she gets hysterical instantly! Next week when all the sports etc have finished & I'm not so flat out & needing my sleep, I'll work on nights!

    I have to say though, that with the health issues you seem to be having, I'd not wean him yet. He sounds like he still needs all of the goodness your BM has to offer....Even though it is driving you up the wall. Do you co sleep? Waking more than hourly isn't fun, I've been there. Its hard work, but co sleeping can make it a little easier. Roll over, attatch, crash out again.

    I'm only just getting DS into his own bed at 4.5. He was never a sleeper. He goes to kindy 3 days a week & can still sit up til 11 if I don't make him go to bed! He didn't sleep through the night til he weaned & even now, 2 years later, there aren't many nights he stays in his own bed all night.

    I'm going through similar with DD & cows milk. I asked the only GP in the area, who fobbed me off. DD has never had straight cows milk before. Only in cakes & other foods where there isn't much of it, & what there is, is cooked down. Now I've started giving her straight milk, she's getting belly aches & horrible black diarrhea that burns her bottom. I've bought some rice milk to see if there's a difference, after I do a bit more of my own experimenting with the cows milk. I'm also getting in contact with a dietitian.

    You'll get through it. Can you get him to have a day sleep by walking in the pram? Or a drive? If you can get him to drop off in the pram, you can leave him in it. When I get DD to sleep though the day, I always have music on. Not quiet either. Its comfort for her, because its constant before & during her sleep. It also helps block out a phone ringing, or dogs barking.. or me dropping something So she sleeps better. At night I don't have anything on once the kids sleep, because its the sudden quiet when I turn everything off & head to bed that wakes her up. But then, she's never had the option of sleeping for long with a boob in her mouth. She's woken & relatched plenty of times when I've tried to escape, but another 5 minutes & I am able get away.

    Good luck, I hope you get some sleep & answers soon

  5. #5

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    My ds is almost 18 months and feeds at least six times a day and three overnight too. It just seems to be the norm for my kids. I might weaned dd at around this age because I was pregnant with ds, but this time I'm just running with it.

    I cosleep, so night waking is just shifting a boob into his mouth and straight back to sleep. Would that work for you?

    If he's only sleeping with a nipple in his mouth, would you try feeding him to almost asleep and then pulling the nipple out. At first he will cry so you put it back in for thirty seconds or so and pull out. Repeat until he is happy to roll over and go to sleep. It will take less and less time each time, until he is feeding until drowsy and then rolling over. That has meant my ds will have a two hour day sleep most days now.

    Good luck. Night waking is very normal, and now at 3 my dd sleeps all night every night. It's a long road, but you're doing the best thing for your son by comforting him through this stage.

  6. #6

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    Thanks so much everyone

    I dont want to wean completely, just cutting a few night feeds out would help haha. We do co-sleep, I couldnt imagine not sharing a bed and trying to function during the day! DP is a .... bumhole to put it nicely about it all though. Massive blow up last night and this morning because he is demanding I wean him completely right now, and I just dont want to. I dont think DS is ready at all, but he thinks I'm doing it for an "ego" thing and that there are no benefits to him still breastfeeding (He doesnt believe a word I say, yet wont actually research it himself). I get that he is tired too, but telling me to "just stop it" or to "get formula in a bottle" isnt going to help! (He thinks by using a bottle he can get up to help and let me keep sleeping, he doesnt get though that DS has NO IDEA on how to use a bottle lol). We're going to try him settling DS once he is home from work (he finishes late) and see how we go. I dont mind feeding overnight, I know its normal to wake etc, but feeding 3-4 times in an hour gets too much sometimes :/

    He unfortunately wont take a dummy, he self weaned from it at 9 months and I havent been able to get him to take one again. I tried again last night but you'd think I was trying to feed him poison by his reaction
    We do have music playing, its on 24/7 as he doesnt sleep as well without it on. Its even become a sleep cue for me LOL.

    He is easy enough to get to sleep, during the day he falls asleep feeding on me within minutes & at night we go to bed, I tell him a story then he feeds to sleep. Can take an hour sometimes to get him to sleep but he does eventually lol. Its the staying asleep thats the killer, and when he wakes during the day he clearly hasnt had enough sleep. I can do a jam-packed morning to tire him out, and it doesnt help at all.

    It just gets frustrating when things seem to start getting better, and then bam they turn around again. Story of my life lol. I have been coping pretty well with it all, I mean my house is a dumpsite most the time because I cant keep up lol, but I feel like I am getting through. Just the last few days has been tough and gotten the better of me. Thank you so much for the support and advice, I will definitely be trying these suggestions. I'm glad I bit the bullet and posted as you are all so lovely

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