Our Journey - Establishing a night time ritual

Well, yesterday was a bit of a mess. Maggie woke at 6am! Not her usual 7.30 (give or take). Got her back to sleep by 7am and we slept til 8.30am. So her whole day was out of wack. Her morning nap went fine, but then for her afternoon nap, she went to sleep at 5.00 and stayed asleep till after 7pm!

So all I could do was give her dinner, which she ate a heap, I even had to top her up with yoghurt. Missed the shower as she had had a bath earlier to try and clear up her nappy rash. I took her to bed, she fed her self to sleep, but then wouldn't move to the cot. I was desperate for a drink, so I had to bring her to the lounge with me and she woke. Got her back to bed as soon as I had my drink.

Not a good night, but I decided not to stress about. I do notice it affects her mornings though. She is very restless in bed for about an hour before waking, when I was doing the sleeps cues she woke much better.

Oh well, back to it tonight.

Your welcome, some of your posts seemed so familiar I thought I'd let you know your not alone.

It would break my heart to CC her too. The one time everyones comments got to me so much I tried to put her down in the cot awake, after not even 1 minute of patting and shhhing she was so upset I took her out and she vomited everywhere, I felt so bad it must have been really stressful for her.

I vowed then and there that they can all take a hike with this teaching them bad habits balony and decided to continue to let her lead the way its not like it will last forever, they are only babies for such a short time.

I find now with Maya if I let her have her sleep at 5 then the whole evening is messed up and she won't go to sleep untill late.

Thanks for your reply Sherrie.

I was at a friends house the other day, and they had recently gone to Tweedle with their 4 month old. In the middle of the party plan showing she was going she sent her DH into the bedroom to pat/shush their baby. It was so awful to listen to, I had to really control myself not to yell at the mother and to try not to go in and rescue that poor baby. I suppose though it is their choice, but I could tell the father did not have the heart to do it properly. My DH was talking to him after it, apparently he is just following his wife and has not questioned her choice, whereas DH will question me. Apparently she went to Tweedle because her baby was having "tantrums" and she does not want the pattern to continue. I tried to calmly tell her that imo it is not a tantrum, it is just her baby trying to communicate. Anyway she doesn't agree as she is a teacher (high school) and knows better. (no offense to other teachers, this is just what she is like).

Anyway I suppose what I am trying to get at, is that seeing that made me feel that what I am trying to do is right for us. It still does not stop me from feeling so sad for that little baby.

Well, I don't know if I am going to jinx it, but she went down quite easily tonight (well for her anyway).

The order was a little mixed up, as she had her shower early as she crawled in whilst I was having mine. She had a very good midday sleep and only a short afternoon nap, so she was tired by dinner.

6.00 Dinner - DH fed her, which was nice for once
6.15 Play whilst I got the bedroom ready
6.30 Get changed, nappy, read story with Peace Baby playing, bit of play
7.00 Change music to Robert Miles - this seems to tell her that I am serious about sleep. Get teddy and role play with teddy about feeding and then sleeping. Bf lying down with teddy close. To really get the sleep message across I stand up and pat/bounce her in my "sleep hold", she gets whingy, so I lay back down to feed and she goes to sleep! Stay with her, then move her to cot with teddy.
7.30 Time for cuppa \:D/
8.10 Went to bedroom and watched, she woke and looked close to resettling, but did not. Picked her up before she got too upset and fed her back to sleep on the bed. Transferred her back to the cot.
As of typing this, she is still asleep :sleeping:

Notes: Her cot mattress is much harder than ours (even though ours is brand new and quite firm) I padded it with blankets to soften, but not too soft IYKWIM, laid down my t shirt from the day and placed her on that

Feeling much better, I think she is getting the idea. Not fussed about the waking after 40 minutes, I assume that will improve with time.

Yay Astrid! Sounds like you had a 'win' last night. :lol: As you go along it will get easier and as she gets older her habits will change too. i hope this is that start of good things to come.

I think with the matress though, they just don't have enough weight to soften it a bit IYKWIM?

Maggie has not been sleeping well overnight, but then neither am I. The weather has just gotten icky and she is a hot sleeper.

Well last night (Thurs) was so so. I got her to sleep ok, but was unable to leave her without her waking. In the end I just stayed with her and went to sleep early. I was very tired anyway and welcomed the excuse to go to bed early.

Tonight (Fri) was a bit of a mess. She had no afternoon nap, so was very tired by the time I could get her to bed. We did not eat together. She went to sleep feeding and slept/fed for 1/2 hour. Thought I had it easy, but no, she decided to wake after her feed. So I let her play a bit with DH whilst I had a quick snack. Took her back to the bedroom, she was tired, but fighting sleep. None of her sleep music would work, had to change to UB40 and that worked.

Notes: Erratic naps definitely seem to affect how well she goes down at night. The temp of the last couple of nights has not helped and she has not slept well and that in turn mucks up her naps. She does not nap to a set time, even though for a few weeks she always went down at 9.30am (her choice). Bit of a vicious circle really.
Must admit some nights I really don't want to go though it all and just want to veg on the couch, but I force myself to do it.

Still going with this, even though I took a break last night, personal crap going on. Maggie still went to sleep fine though.

Tonight I could see more of her trying to settle herself, I just wish she would stop getting so distracted. She lies down in her sleep position and turns her head to one side and starts to giggle! Strange. Anyway she was asleep by 8.30 and is now still asleep. So she did not do her normal wake after 40 minutes. Wonder if this is a one off or the start of something positive.

DH is away again so I hope it is better this week

Good girl Maggie! it sometimes seems like there is no light at the end of the tunnel, but you will get there. The best thing is that you are sticking to your plan and not letting little setbacks stop you.

You are going great!

Really wasn't the best at keeping to the night ritual this week. Maggie definitely seems to be going through some changes. Her own attempts to settle really seem to be stopping her from sleeping. Poor thing, she sits up and flops back down, tosses and turns. The only way to help her is to partially wake her up, change the music and then she will seem to settle into sleep.

She did that at 3am this morning. I had to get her up after I caught her kneeling next to DH's head making her excited noise and hitting him in the head :shock: It was funny though :lol: Did get her re settled till 4.15

Hoping the colder weather will help, but we will have to get a heater for the bedroom before it gets too cold.

Last night I got really stressed. Maggie was doing her close to sleep thing, but I could not get her over the edge. Cracked it completely. It is like my patience switch gets suddenly switched off. Gave her to DH in the lounge. Really ****ed at him, his bloody EQII was more important than settling his daughter, he needed her to wait 15 minutes before he could deal with her. Anyway I got her to sleep in front of the computer and he still had not finished over half an hour later - selfish ***** :fuming:

Her sleep overnight was terrible again. Both she and I were sleeping quite well, but then we had to get up at 5.30 to drop DH at work (he is away again this week). Normally she goes back to sleep on the drive back home, but this time she did not. So I am absolutely exhausted this morning. Managed to get her to sleep, but when I tried to get us both back to bed, the cat decided it was time to scream for breakfast, even though I made sure they had food earlier. So we are not still awake.

Really need a way to get her settled for naps, I am spending half my day either trying to get her to sleep for naps or her night sleep. Today it is just too much to deal with

Have decided to try lavender tonight to see if that helps her sleep. I put some on my pillow and a cotton ball hidden under her sheets in her cot. Not sure if she settle easier, but it wasn't any harder. She did wake after and hour, but was easily resettled. Now it is getting colder I am loosely wrapping her. Hoping this might help keep her to sleep.

Have shuffled her times for daylight savings ending. So I am doing dinner around 5 and it flows on from there. So it looks as though I am getting her to sleep by 7:30, bit tricky, but it makes me feel better.

For the last week she will not sit still for her story. Thought she might be bored with it, so I tried another, but that did not help. I still read to her as she moves around, sometimes she will stop and look at the pages then go back to trying to get at everything on the bedside table.

Astrid, do you do much during the day in the way of play groups, play centres etc? Maybe she needs extra stimulation to zonk out. Marisa was like that, would have to wear her out in every way all day to get her sleeping at a reasonable hour. I think some just take more than others, and that's apersonality thing...

Kelly - I do have MG once a week, and I try to together with another mum once a week. If I had the money I would take her to Gymbaroo or some other baby class. My MCHN did suggest I do as much with her as possible, not to tire her out, but more to do with her being a bright and active little thing that needs to learn heaps. Need to wrok something out for her though. :-k

I know Maggie is older so not sure if this stuff works on older babies, but Luxxe is one of those babies that demands a constant change of scenery for visual stimulation... and as the house and garden are nowboring, we're starting on art galleries, museums and botanical gardens.

most of which are free too!

plus lots of things for her to learn and fill her mind with and hopefully tire her out.

I'm lazy, which does not help with regards to getting out and about. I really shouldn't be, as I would like to starting losing weight. Might start checking out where all the local parks are.

Hey Astrid

Hows it going now, any improvement?

Hey Sherrie - I think there have been improvements, I am a lot less stressed now. I tend to be going with the flow, not forcing a specific bedtime etc. If she has missed her afternoon nap, then I know to start dinner, bath etc earlier and she will go to sleep quickly. If her nap was late then I know everything else will be late and if she needs to play a bit before sleeping then I am ok with that.

Have found that location of dressing, getting her to sleep etc does not make a huge amount of difference to her. It seems it is the process of bath, book and breast feed is what helps (with music of course)

Just wish she would wake up less overnight. I have some terrible nights, then I can have some good ones. Her nights are a bit better since she has taken to eating more solids. Just kicking myself for not going to bed when she did last night. She slept for 4 hours straight!! Then she woke when we went to bed and was a little pain all night.

I have been trying to get her out a bit more. Have been getting in contact with some of the other mothers in MG

I don't think this will ever end. It is definitely a work in progress.

It will, I think mine is getting grief from her first molars wanting to come through so I have been getting some really rough nights where she wakes every cycle but it won't last forever!

We will sleep one day :)

Good luck!

Well Maggie has started to walk in the past week. A big woo hoo, but a right pain to getting her to sleep.

It has been very hard to get her down at night and even harder to put her in the cot. Some nights I have gone to bed early with her, or just brought her out to the lounge to sleep on one our laps till we go to bed. Even her day naps are more difficult.

There was a woo hoo last night thought, she slept for 6 hours straight till 2:30am!! Even though I went to be at 10, I still felt better for that longer stretch of sleep. I have noticed though, the longer she sleeps, the longer it takes to get her back to sleep. It probably took an hour till she was fully asleep. I did get her to sleep early, but she wouldn't go back in the cot, so I brought her to bed as per normal.

I think she is enjoying her bedtime stories. She keeps on turning the pages for me and is now pointing at the pictures.

Now all I have to do is start to get DH more involved. I would like to go out one night. She is beginning to muck around with being fed to sleep, so I may start breaking her of that before she really bites me (I am feeling those teeth a bit more).

Small steps hey Astrid ;) These developmental milestones can often bring an unsettled bub... so hoping things settle down soon for you, until the next one ;)

Well, it is getting worse. :help: Not sure what is going, Maggie's walking is improving and she is making more attempts to do things for herself, could this be still affecting her? She is also being a little booby fiend, I wouldn't mind, but she wont stop wriggling and trying to get herself into weird positions.

Her day naps are really terrible, it is now rare for her to have 2 naps and she takes ages to go down. It is getting very stressful. I am getting tempted to leave her until she drops, but once she starts to get tired she wont leave me alone.

I am so exhausted :crying:

Have realised she is sick of the music I was using for her day naps. I found today when I put on different music she went to sleep without too much trouble. Great for my sanity to not have to listen to the same stuff all the time, but bad as I do not know what to put on for her now. She really carries on and gets upset with some pieces of music now.

She is still wanting heaps of boobie, just wish I could get her to eat more solids, my bb's need a break!

Interesting. Maggie must really be coming more aware of her body. She wouldn't settle tonight, which was odd, as she normally just flakes when she has had a big day and only 1 nap. But she would not sleep!! She would start to bite me whilst feeding and then giggle. Nothing would work, even checking her nappy. Anyway she had not pooed all day (odd for her), well finally she did and only then would she settle. So it looks as though I can't push her to sleep, sometimes I will just have to be patient.

Oh gawd she reminds me so much of Maya. Hows her teething? Mine has been teething her first molar for the last 2 months off and on. She will have some good days then real bad ones where shes very cranky, clingy and restless but into everything at the same time. she also will not sleep if she needs to do a poo!

So jealous of that six hour sleep though! :p

Well time for a little Woo Hoo, I think Maggie finally slept through last night! I got her to sleep about 8:30 (a bit late, but she had a late nap), kept her in the lounge room with me (nice and warm), she woke about 10:30 so I gave her a big feed, took her to bed with me later and I don't remember feeding her again until 6:20!!! For some silly reason I did not sleep well, but she did.

Thinking it might have to do with her eating more, both solids and breastfeeds. Wish she would take to food a bit more, as yesterday I did feel as though I was feeding a newborn again. Every time she came near me she tugged at my top and wanted a feed.

Going camping this weekend, so hopefully she will not be mucked up by that.