Our Sleep Plan - Support and Encouragement needed

6-7.5 months was absolute hell for us.
DH and I were both up and down AAALLLL night long - we tried and tried and tried to keep our sleep plan going. After about 6 weeks I gave up.
And then everything got better.
If it's not working, then it's time to stop. Give yourselves a break and regroup. Switch to survival mode. Do whatever helps.
You are right - you can't go on like this. So don't.

Tell us exactly what's going on right now and maybe someone will have a bright idea that can help you.

:hug:

Heaven - you are so not alone. Do whatever you can to get you through and keep you as happy as possible. I have not been able to implement any sleep plan exactly with either girl - it has been a jumble of lots of different things. I found some tips on the QEC website - they are a sleep school in Melb that have some simple and gentle ideas (I have only listened to the baby ones) which are helpful - I am currently in #2's room shushing in the dark as teething has thrown her off course this week. xxx

Heaven, you are definitely not alone!!! Hun, it might be time to take a break, like the others have said, and just do whatever it takes to get her to sleep easily. It doesn't mean you can't revisit your sleep plan - but the more you fight it, the harder it is. I truly understand how frustrated you are right now, honestly :hug:. The one thing I regret is that I fought DS's sleep so much, and tried to change him. In hindsight, it wasn't going to work, he changed when he was ready. I wasted a hell of a lot of time and energy trying to get him to sleep better, longer. By 10 months I had pretty much given up, and just went with what worked (give or take a couple of days, up to when he was 13 months, and then I really and truly gave up!!!). I can tell you, I got a lot more sleep myself at that point ;). Co sleeping was our saviour, although I understand it's not for everyone. I certainly didn't think it was for me until DS was 8 months and I was beside myself with tiredness. And even then, I still persisted with trying to get him back into his cot for another couple of months.

Give yourself a rest hun, even if it's just for a week. Do whatever it to get DD and yourself some more sleep, in a less stressful way :hug:

Kristy- Thanks. That's what I needed to hear. That hopefully it will just magically get better some day, LOL. Because nothing I do is helping. Although DD has never self settled so it's never going to get that good! But even if she woke only 2 times a night for a feed I could handle that!
Anna- Thanks for your suggestions. We've decided now that we will do that like you said in the day, rock her to fully asleep and put her down so she at least wakes up there every time. That's the only way to do it during the day. But I won't go back to using the HAB, at least I've got out of that habit.
Ginger- No, I don't have a swing or anything. I have a rocker but she wouldn't sleep in it. I've tried putting her in the pram when she's asleep and rocking that to give my arms a break but not even that is good enough!! She still wakes up. So it's not just the rocking, it's being with me or DH too I guess. Don't know how to fix it!
Mak- Thankyou, I will check out that site!
janie- Thankyou, we're going to take a break. It's just making us angry and frustrated bc it's not working! And I don't want to be angry at her, I love her. Right now she is on my lap with her head on my hand while I type, pmsl, like 'see mummy, I'm so cute during the day!!' LOL. Cosleeping works well and I get more sleep actually but only if DH isn't in the bed. Otherwise she takes up heaps of room!! Then I can't sleep coz I'm all cramped. And I want to sleep with DH! I don't want him kicked out. I'm also scared that if I start cosleeping all the time she will get used to it and it will be even harder trying to get her in her cot!!
marcellus- Thankyou. I have noticed DD is more clingy in the last week too like you said. It has started! So that's probably contributing too. She wants to be held all the time. Every time I look at her she whinges bc she wants me to pick her up. She's started reaching out her hands for me to pick her up now. She also wants me to spend all day helping her stand :rolleyes: lol. Ok, what exactly is going on...

During the day...
She has to be rocked to sleep. Which means wrapping her up and bouncing on the fitball. Seems to need pretty vigorous bouncing!! DH and I thought the other day well maybe if we just don't use the fitball and don't bounce as much we can cut it down slowly how much we rock her. So we tried for the day not to bounce her much but more just walk around and rock gently. Well, she stayed up for EIGHT HOURS!!!! Unbelievable. She was so tired. On the plus side, she then slept for 2.5hrs in her cot. But she was totally buggered. So, that shows how stubborn she is and how much she depends on rocking! But she's getting too big for it so it has to change. Was going to get a rocking chair but they're pretty expensive and I'm scared it might not work anyway bc it's probably too gentle of a rock!
Sometimes she will feed to sleep if she's really tired.
Anyway, more often than not when we try and put her down she wakes up, unless she's really tired. Although yesterday she had 2 sleeps of 45mins each in her cot so maybe we're making some progress, who knows.

During the night...
We start with the routine: dinner, naked time, bath, book, booby, bed. Sometimes she falls asleep at the feed and sometimes we have to rock her. Sometimes she can be put straight in bed when she's asleep, sometimes she wakes up 5 times when you try!! :rolleyes: Then she wakes up after about an hr. Pick her up and she's pretty much asleep straight away and put her back down. Wakes again after 2 hrs, I usually feed her. Wakes again after 2 hrs and we try and rock her back to sleep. Depending how hard it is to put her down I might give up and feed her to sleep. Sleeps for another 1.5-2hrs, same thing happens. And this goes on until 5.30 and she won't go back to sleep after that.

Isn't all this broken sleep bad for her too?? :(


Thankyou everyone for all your support. Your posts made me cry. Really needed to read them :grouphug:

:grouphug: sorry your having a rough time, I have been there myself.

Hope your able to find a solution that works for you soon.

awww hun i havent read all the previous posts but have you tried to introduce a new sleep association?? im trying to get millie weaned of the wrap so i intriduced a blankie, i wrap her with one arm out with the blankie tucked in the wrap so she can pull it out, seems to be working better than i thought!! just trying to get her to associate sleep with something other than been wrapped.

Ah - the fit ball! I remember that! DS used to love it too.

OK - you know what, it sounds like you really have made some good progress. This is a phase. It WILL pass. Getting upset and frustrated will make it last longer. I know cause I too have been there.
Sometimes we are our own worst enemies. I had a revelation at around 7.5 months when DS suddenly started sleeping better. I had just given up on trying to get him to sleep in his cot and was sleeping with him on a mattress on the floor. After a few nights he was happy to sleep there alone. I realised - I had been so busy trying to do what I thought I should; trying to avoid 'causing problems' by not having him sleep in the cot, that I wasn't listening to him at all. All this time he was trying to tell me: Mummy! This isn't working for me!

When you hit a rough patch I reckon the best thing to do is whatever helps you to ride it out with the minimum of stress. If co-sleeping with your DH elsewhere is what works best right now, then, seriously, I suggest you do that. When she settles down again and you're all calmer and rested, then you can try to change things again.

They seem to survive just fine on broken sleep :rolleyes:. Can't say the same for mum & dad of course.

:hug:

Well I have to write this down so I remember that there are good days, LOL.
Today DH is back at work after a wk off. And I have given her 3 sleeps!! Without even using the fitball. The first sleep was only 30mins when she fell asleep feeding and I was too scared to move her, LOL. The second sleep she went to sleep in 4 mins and then I put her in her cot and she slept in there for 45 mins. She has just gone to sleep again and has been in her cot for 20mins now!
DH has been doing a lot of the sleeps when he's been off to give me a break. Maybe she just needs a mummy's touch, pmsl. Lets see what tomorrow brings.
Can't believe I have had my hands free twice today, don't know what to do, it's very strange.


ETA- omg she ended up sleeping in her cot for 1hr!!!!!!!!!! Record!! Woke up screaming and is now back to sleep in my arms. Won't push my luck and will hold her til she wakes up so she gets some good sleep.

Ok just have to share again! I'm still going good during the day!! Have put her down for all of her day sleeps since Monday! I just have to rock her to sleep and then I can put her down 5mins later. BIG improvement. Nights are still crappy but at least I can put her down in the day now!

well done Heaven!

Oh YAY! about the day sleeps! At least that gives you some hands-free time to drink a hot strong coffee! :hug: Hope it keeps getting better! A lot of people say once one gets better, the other follows, which was true for us, so I hope now she's getting a bit better sleep during the day she'll sleep better at night too xx

Well done on pushing through this. It is not easy, but you are doing so well. Very proud of you. xoxo

Yay! Great news.
Like Leasha, we have found the same thing.
Hoping for more good days (and nights)

I'm right there with you Heaven. We were going great guns with NCSS. Then he got sick and he's back to awful. Dh and I are at our wits' end.

Thats a great start, we had sleep probs with Ash and we worked on the day first, once we had her sleeping well in her cot during the day then we moved onto the nights.
You've made great leap forward!

Heaven that is great! Well done! Hoping that the nights follow soon.

Hooray! Perserverance is so important, but so is flexibility and understanding, because they are so different every day! (Well my DD is anyway!).

Hope things keep improving!

Well, just an update from me! I haven't used the HAB in ages! I have put DD down for all her day sleeps for the last week and 1/2! She is getting better and not protesting as much. She is not a big fan of going in her cot though and I have more success putting her down elsewhere, e.g. on a mattress on the floor. Nighttime has still been shocking, but last night was good. She only woke up twice! the first stretch of sleep she slept for 3.5hrs!! LOL, I know this prob still sounds crappy to other people but it was awesome for her who has only been sleeping 2hrs max for the last 2 months! She has been waking up only 40mins after putting her down at night, then an hr later, then and hr and a half later, then up for an hr or more at about 2 am!!! So we decided to try putting her to bed later. We had been trying to have her in bed by 7 after reading an earlier bedtime is better and may make them sleep longer in the morning. Before this she usually went to bed at 8.30 or 9pm (her choice). So we decided to go back to that (and we also squeeze in another nap later in the day, so she wakes up at about 5pm). This is working much better, she goes down easier and has her longest sleep first up. I guess the early bedtime just isn't her thing and all babies are different. I hope things keep improving!

Thanks again for everyone's support!

ETA- Oh and she is easier to get to sleep during the day too and I can also do it without using the fitball! It feels so much better because I used to feel like I was trapped at home bc if we were out and she needed a sleep I wouldn't be able to get her to sleep without the HAB and fitball! Can't take them everywhere, hahaha. But now I am much more comfortable going out!

Yay Heaven!!! FWIW, my DS was always a cot-hater, and he has always enjoyed a later bedtime (ie. 8.30 or 9pm). So you're not alone there!!! Sometimes it's hard to realise that our kids don't want to be the same as everyone else, but it's so much easier when you go with their flow :lol:.

Hooray! Great news Heaven - I hope you are beginning to feel a little more rested. xx

Oh, that's great Heaven.
Definitely agree with Janie - don't be afraid to break all the 'rules' if that's what works better for her.

yay heaven!!!!!!!

Glad to hear things are improving for you! Good work chick.

that's great that things are improving! our darling little ones sometimes don't have the same ideas as the books we read or the plans we make :p

just do what works for you and your bub. you'll both be happier for it. and if what your doing stops working, try something else. our bubs change from week to week and month to month.

i know how you feel about never going out if a sleep was needed - i've had the same issue to deal with. you feel so trapped! glad you can be a bit more flexible now that you don't need the fitball.

well done :D

omg guys yesterday she slept on her own during the day for 1.5hrs!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Absolutely unbelievable! I'm also trying to get rid of the wrap and am wrapping one arm atm bc it's getting way too hot here. It used to be really hard to put her down if she wasn't wrapped properly but now we can do it! And she likes it better! She likes to roll over and get comfy, so cute.

what an awesome nap!! hope things keep getting better & better for you :)

Yea Heaven - Good work! So happy for you!

Thought I better update. We are doing well!! Haven't done anything differently except give up, pmsl.

DD now has 2 day sleeps and lets me put her down for them. She goes to sleep A LOT easier day and night. Has been waking 3 times a night but going straight back to sleep thank God. Out of the last 5 nights, 3 of them she has only woken twice!! Miracle, lol. She is now sleeping in until 6am (instead of 5-5.30am). She sleeps more time in her cot than with us! She only sleeps with us if I accidentally fall asleep feeding or she is having a bad night and won't go in her bed which is maybe part of the night 1 night a week. She never used to go into her cot after about 3am but now she does and we have been waking up to her playing in her cot and smiling at us, beautiful. Also, when she wakes in the night she feeds and seems to be not quite asleep when we put her back in her cot and will roll around and get comfy and stay asleep!!!!!!!! Previously she had to be absolutely dead asleep and even then it only worked 1/2 the time.
Sometimes when she wakes we can even just say 'shhhh shhhh' and she goes back to sleep.
She has always hated the car and will never sleep in there but last week I was driving home with her and she cried for about 30secs and then was suspiciously quiet. When I got home SHE WAS ASLEEP!!!!!!! She has never ever ever put herself to sleep before!! So that was a major breakthrough.

So, even though we are still waking a lot at night I can see lots of improvement. We're all much happier and I don't actually feel too tired most of the time!!

I'm feeling very proud of us atm. We stuck to our gentle techniques and it is finally paying off. She is learning to sleep better and she feels safe and loved :D Thankyou everyone for all your support and keeping me sane!!!!

Great news! xx

OMG last night she slept for 3 hrs, then 5 hrs, then 2 hrs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All in her own bed. Hasn't slept for 5 hrs straight since she was about 3 months old!!!!!!!!!!