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Thread: * Telling people about TTC?

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Feb 2004
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    Exclamation * Telling people about TTC?

    hi everyone,

    My DH and I are going to start TTC in June. I have been keeping track of my dates and temps so I know when I ovulate so we have a better chance of when we actually start to commence.

    What I want to know from you others that are TTC is what you tell your family and friends? We are torn as to whether to tell them that we are starting to TTC or not. There are fors and againsts as to why I guess. Both sets of parents and my best friend know what are plans are, although the rest of our friends and family do not. I know that I will hate lying to them if they ask if we are trying and we are but we say we aren't. And then waiting 12 weeks or so when you do finally get pg! I must admit, that is one part I am not looking forward to, not telling anyone.



    On the other hand, being bugged about whether we are pg or not every other day, I am not I could handle that either, especially if the TTC is long term.

    Thoughts please everyone - TIA

    nellbe

  2. #2

    Join Date
    Mar 2004
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    We didn't tell our families or anyone else for that matter. We just didn't want to be asked constantly whether "it had happened". I think the added pressure can be hard. On the other hand, if you do want to share with close friends or family members, so you can openly talk about it - why not.
    We told everyone who asked us about having children that we would start trying in October this year (just to get them off our back).

  3. #3

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    Mar 2004
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    We haven't told many people that we are TTC - My mother, sister, and my dh's sister are the only people that know! I think there can be too much pressure if too many people know, especially, as you said, if it's long term ttc.

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Apr 2004
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    Hi Nellbe!

    Welcome to BB!!

    We've been TCC for 12 months and haven't told anyone about it. The only person who knows is my Mum, mainly for moral support and because as a girl, I think you need someone to sound off.

    Personally, I think if we could predict that we'd get pregnant quickly, then we may have told some of our closest friends, but I am very glad that we didn't because 12 months of very well meaning 'has it happened yet' and all that would be really crushing I think. Plus I don't think I would enjoy it if that was the beginning of every conversation.

    The 12WW when it finally does happen - I think that even though it will be hard to not tell (and to not look like the cat who ate the canary!!), if anything goes wrong then it allows you to make decisions etc in your own time and space without having other peoples ideas and advice 'forced' upon you. And by the time you tell them at 12W, there is not that many weeks to go!!!

    BUT, every person is different. You need to do what you feel is right for you and your DH, because whether your TCC is short or long, it can be quite stressful at times and you may feel that you need the support of others around you to help you get through.

    Most of us find the BB website a great source of this type of support!!

    Let us know how you decide and best of luck TCC!! Hope your time TCC is short.

    Love
    Gabby O

  5. #5

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    Oooookay, ready for my story.... It's a long one!!!

    We decided to TTC on Mother's Day 2002 (while at a picnic with both our families!) and told no-one at the time. A few months down the track I told my mum, who obviously told my dad. I also told my younger sister and that was it. We had a 3 month break when we sold our first home & bought this one & mum, dad & sister knew we weren't trying anymore.

    THEEEEN, we decided to try again. Didn't tell anyoe this time. Then when we got to 10 months of trying & I was starting to get worried I asked mum how long it took her to get pg. Dad clicked to what was going on first & then so did mum. My younger sister was there at the time, so she knew again.

    When it came to 12 months my Dr sent DH for testing & with all this going on my older sister & younger brother also found out - so now ALL of my family knew.

    About 4 weeks ago when driving to a Hen's Night with two friends I told them about why I wasn't drinking lately - they had been pestering me to have a drink with them for a while. One of them knew already & I had suspected that cos her partner is DH's best friend.

    The one that didn't know before I told her sent me text messages for the next week asking if I was pregnant. It was kinda embarrassing telling her that, no my period has come. We then went to a picnic with all of our friends for me to find ot that DH had told all of the guys about his tests, so they obviously told all of their partners so now they alllll know. There is only one that has been bugging me about it really - the one mentioned above.

    Now you may have noticed that my ILs have not been mentioned.... They don't know & we want it to stay that way. I fyou think of Everybody Loves Raymond - that's them!!!!! Even though as far as they are aware we're not trying it doesn't stop them from talking about it constantly. At Christmas time my FIL told DH that we need to get lessons from his cousin (who had a 2month old at the time) how to "do it". I just couldn't handle the comments if he knew we are actually trying.

    So there you have it. Some know, some don't. I think it really depends on how you think they will react....

  6. #6

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    Thanks ladies for your thoughts and replies. I really appreciate it. DH and I will talk about it a bit more I think. I am glad that my folks and his mum knows. Both mums have been great already although I think my mum wonders what all the fuss is about! I have been reading a few library books about pre conception care and through the advice of those and my GP both of us have stopped caffeine, alcohol and eating crappy. Mum thinks I am crazy and let nature take it's course. I disagree, I think nature needs a helping hand.

    My best friend is also TTC so it is fantastic to have her support, although she does live in another state! I am pleased we can go through this together.

    So yes, thank goodness for such a great forum like BB.... I am definately going to stick around a while!

    PS The very best of luck for all currently TTC, lots of inkdust: for you all.

  7. #7
    Scarlett Guest

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    LOL about IL's Sarah but I know what you mean...mine would be like vultures so they certainly don't get to know. The only people who know are my two best friends and they are for moral support - one has been great as she had trouble and is really helpful and supportive. The other makes me feel a little like a science experiment gone wrong, she means well but it would be easier if she didn't know.

  8. #8

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    Just letting you all know that my DH and I have decided to tell a select few only about TTC. MY 3 gf's, one whom is also currently TTC and the other two recently have just had children, and both sets of parents.

    We really didn't want too many people to know as I know that my BIL's and SIL's would be like that friend of yours Sarah - are you pg yet? are you pg yet? Don't think I can handle that.

    We will wait until the safe time to tell as well, hopefully I won't get too sick and it won't be that noticeable.

    thanks again for you thoughts

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