just wanting to be utd again

Danielle- wow.. i sure know how it feels to have so much happening. Let me spill you mine to maybe have you feel slightly better, or atleast know that others out there have had a ****ty time too ...

June 2006 we started the ball rolling for building our dream home on our block of land. Started trying for bubby #2 sept 2006, succeeded 1st time. 20 week scan found out the news we wanted to hear, our baby was a boy... we would have one of each.

At 21 weeks my fiance was crushed in a machine at work, basically died. He had 4 spinal fracture's, small bowl herniated through his abdo wall, scrotum sack cut in half, various serious lacerations, his whole mid section de-gloved and moved approx 5cms to the left. He was in a coma for 2 weeks.

Our house was schedualed to be started on the wednesday of that week, he had his accident on the tuesday.

Then on the thursday i got a call from my midwife saying i had tested positive for CMV and i had to have an appt the following week to possibly have a termination! :O :(

I can not even start to describe the feelings and state of mind i had that week!

So, after preassure from the builder's and advice of the dr's telling me my man want going to make it i had to make the decision to cancel the building of our home!

So, step by step luckily my man came thorugh, and with alot of love and me tending to his side, we got through his accident, as well as have scans every 3 weeks for the dr's to keep checking if our son was showing signs of congiental cmv. Anyhow, we got to the birth, our son was just perfect but got shipped away from us for testing.... THANKFULLY.. my body took the brunt of the whole infection and we areso greatful!

So, then it was just a case of getting on with life, with what it had given us!

So now, here we are almost 2 years since the accident (happened in feb 2007), we are now selling the block of land, it is the final chapter of that dream which is well and truly gone..... life has changed so much since then.... and we figure we build new dreams. We are still renting, as we had no choice after his accident, due to everything that happened, i suffered badly with depression after my sons birth, so havent lost any weight i put on with him and my daughters pregnancy, SO.. although ideally i would ahve loved to have lost my wieght before going for #3, and for getting married... im also following my heart..... and my heart is screaming for a baby so bad....

To add to this btw, our son is very small for his age and we only recently found out why. He at some stage got infected with giardia. It is parasite found in dirty water, now we dont have a tank, we dont go swimming in rivers, we dont go camping...so the dr is totally bemused as to how he got it, but it has meant he is way to small... he is 18 months and only 8.5 kg's!!

He has been treated, and now i just have to fatten him up. but still very hard.

You follow your heart, dont worry about anyone else...... they arent living your life!

Me-well i am anxiously waiting for NEW YEARS EVE lol im really hoping DF's swimmer's wernt affected by the accident and we fall easily like the 2 times before..... seeing as we are only trying once this month lol. Part of me feels crazy for wanting another one right now..... as things are so crazy and hectic BUT... if the accident hasnt taught us anything, it doesnt matter what is going on RIGHT NOW, cause anything can happen.

When we fell with DS, we were smooth sailing, in the process of building, house woiuld of been finished for his arrival..... but life had other plans instore for us!

Ok i have no idea why iw rote all this, i hope this helped omewhat!

It is so great we have eachother here cause i dont have anyone either... apart from the fact i dont have many friends really if any, my mum thinks im crazy to try now... wants me to wait... my MIL well a whole nother story.

lol

oh my you guys have had a hard run, i know what its like to be in the postion of almost loosing your other half, I lost my fiancee when I was only 19, and the horrible part was that I was the person there to witness his work bike accident and tried to revive him ahd him going until the ambos got there then he passed on all of his throat was pretty much crushed from the bike landing on him, you are very lucky to have each other - big hugs for you, but I can only imagine what you went through on his recovery journey also. I since have found my second true love which was my best friend who just so happened to get me UTD first before I realised I had any sort of feelings for him lol. Now we're married 2 sort of healthy kids, we dont get much sleep atm keep waking to check on Ryley in particular with his breathing troubles cause he just stops breathing in the middle of the night, but he sleeps right beside mummy every night and I cant remember the last time DH and I slept in the same bed.

But I guess all in all theres no real reason why life dishes out the hard yards for some and golden platters for others, its just the way life goes, and in reality you either crumble with it, or let it make you stronger and a better person for dealing with it in the right way. Sometimes I just get fed up with it all its one thing after the next, and really with all the rest of lifes normal problems going wrong like crashing cars, bills, and whatever else, you cant put a price on how valuable health is its the most worrying thing of all to the point where you are worrying yourself sick about your loved ones, but we as mummys have to stay strong for everyone, cause like Lisa said to me yesterday a happy mum makes a happy home! If you start to worry or show it more than what you should everyone else will too and its our job to try and keep everyone else strong. Arent mums a wonderful thing? :)

Im sorry to hear about your terrible time of late too, but like you said we never know whats going to happen, and when you've hit rock bottom with everything in your life it can only get better cant it? And its not whats happening thats bad in your life, its how you deal with is what makes you perceive it in the way you do, luckily I have had a positive attitude most the time with it all, even though sometimes I feel like Ive had enough.

I am too so glad I have this forum to vent in there are so many of you just like myself, and I cant vent to my family, cause it only makes them worry and they need a happy mummy right now.

good luck for TTC#3 :)

we dont know if im pregnant or not yet waiting for my period, if i didnt get preggers in this cycle i will do a little resting from it all for a bit maybe until things blow over with the kids, have to wait and see wont we ;)

Hugs to you MissyMooMoo.

Well hubby and i dtd this morning, no protection and later we were playing with the baby in bed and having fun and laughing, i asked if 'when we do start ttc could he let me know', he smiled and said 'when it happens then you will know'.

Does he mean when i fall pregnant then i will know that we were ttc?

I dont want to push the issue with him, im trying to be casual and in a "i dont care" attitude, so i did not ask any more questions, but geez thats confusing.

Im now on day 13, but im sure i am a late ovulater usually day 19, so it may not even count, but hubby not using any protection is giving me a good indicater that he does not care even though he says he does. Its easy for me to follow this month as af was on dec the 1st. But i was kinda on the pill (on and off) last month that gave me af for 3 weeks, so my cycle could be out and i could ovulate any time really.

Im starting to think im making this harder than it needs to be, i need to let go and go with the flow.

Lisa, lol i would take that as a "when your pregnant, then you will know"... lol

i reckon he doesnt wanna put a tag on it..... as he has basically said so, in a sense.... you are ttc. I still reckon using the tag "nttnc" is what you need to do cause then you get the tag you need and he gets the no preassure! WIN WIN i reckon!

Yep! In my mind i have said we are ttc.
End of story, lol.

I just posted in your uh oh thread, Fingers crossed for you.

Watch this space for me.......

Update...

Well not really much of an update, we have not dtd in a while as hubby has been so tired from his job, bummer really.
But...
I am not due for my af for at least 12 days if i have a 28 day cycle, i am not sure what my cycle is as this is the first real one since comming of the pill and last month, i missed some pills and then took them and ended up with af for 3 weeks, it was over for 3 days when i got my af on dec 1, that lasted for 5 days, anyway, i am cramping big time, i dont usually cramp until my af is due, so im wondering if i could be utd, but i only dtd 3 times, once on the 6th, the 9th and the 13th of dec, could it possiable?

I got a test but not sure if i should use it or not?

Ok so this morning i got sprung doing a hpt, by my dear hubby, it was a bfn, which i was not suprised about.
I have had period like cramps for 3 days in a row and yesterday and the day before i felt bloated, so i dont know whats going on.

LOL @ being sprung doing a HPT... darl, my man knows if i am "****ing in a cup " as he calls it, because i close the toilet door hahahaha with the 2 kids, never leaving me alone at home i never get to close the door, but if i do a hpt i put my foot down and close the door.... hahah we always knows what im doing! :P

AFY- hmmmmm i dont think a HPT would show anything atm, sounds to me like your body is adjusting to being off the pill. How long were you on it for?

Hey mmm, i was only on the pill less than 7 months this time and like i said pp, i missed some last month, at least the test showed that i didnt get utd the day after my af, so still means im in for a shot with the 13th.
I just could not help myself this morning, it was 5am and i had to pee, lol, i also shut the toilet door and he heard the wrapper comming off the fr box.
When i got back to bed he said 'so was it 2 lines'. omg.

The only time i ever really get cramps is when im on my af or utd, you think i would know all the symptoms by now, this will be my 7 pregnancy, but 6th baby, ahh.

LOL yes, well... after that many babie's MDear you'd think so! ha ha ha

It is likely for sure...

Do u think this period like pain could be implantation or something?

I dont ever remember having that before, but tbh i never really paid attention to my body till now.

It would be nice to have a bfp for xmas :pray:

well, anything is possible.... BUT, being the cycle youve had id be surprised... HOWEVER, in saying that, who knows!

God knows im no expert, look at how confusing my body is/has been for me.... so who knows!

lol

a BFP for xmas would be amazing.... :D

Silly me, i think i know what that pain was, i ovulated this morning!
Good timing as well, we dtd again last night, so i can say i am in the two week wait!!!!:dance:
I new i ovulate on or around day 19, and today is day 18, so very close.
Man this whole not ttc, but are ttc thing has just messed with my brain, hubby almost said last night that we were ttc, but instead called it 'hop' heat of pashion.men:o
So ladies jan 1 is testing time, oh i hope i can hang on that long.

I just want to be utd......watch this space.:pray:

All the best with the TWW!! :bluedust:

Well i bought a 3 pack of hpt, cause they were on sale, hubby rolled his eyes!
Now all i think about is whats the earliest i can test.

LOL it will fly by. :D

Very exciting :D

Lol- this is a very funny thread!!
Men are so hopeless when it comes to their pen**- everything they say they want just goes RIGHT out the window!!! If it were me, and I was wanting to be UTD- I would just be saying 'stuff it'- if he can't take responsibility to avoid getting you UTD in the bedroom- then somewhere in his mind he has to be aware that you getting UTD is a possibility- IYKWIM? So in a way, he IS giving you the green light, by not really following through with what he claims he wants.
I would just forget about it, have fun and see what happens. He knows you are off the pill- and that it was messing with your health, so he is fully aware the responsibility befalls on him to put a condom on. If he doesn't- well, he has to be prepared for the possibility of a BFP!!! he he..... I mean, I think, if he really wanted to avoid a BFP THAT badly- he wouldn't take those risks- IYKWIM???

LOL well, we are in this 2WW together M'Dear... :D

Our officially started today... i have O'd earlier than expected but to be honest not surprised being the drama with my last early AF lol

So when do you test Lisa? new years day?

I will test as of 5th i think.. (unless the POAS monster bites me earlier ha ha ha)