Donor Conception General Chatter #2

Thanks Lissie - how is your 2ww going? At 44, I'm the baby in my family too. My brother is 54, has 2 adult children and now has grandkids - I cried for days when I found out my nephew was going to be a father at 25 and I still hadn't started!! My sister is in the middle and has two teenaged daughters. When I succeed, my parents' grandkids are all going to be so far apart in age - my nephew is now 30!

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I am now 43 and whilst I think my specialist is pleased with the quality of my eggs for my age, I really need to start thinking about my options, one of which is of course using donor eggs.

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Joanne, you're in exactly the same position I was in 2 years ago. The lovely Anney referred me to a site that is setup for Egg Donors and recipients. At that time "there was no way I was going to need/want donor eggs" but I joined the site to get a feel for things. I am so glad I did as I learned so much - I was a member for 16 months before I advertised and still cycled three times with my own eggs while learning about ED. I have now come full circle and am completely at ease with ED - I had no idea how common it is and how much support is out there when you go looking.

Amanda, what can I say? To even consider ED speaks volumes and it truly is one of the most generous gifts anyone can ever give. There is a lot to learn and a heck of a lot involved in the whole process. As I outlined above, there are some great support networks out there and that's the best place for you to start as well as talking to your GP. One of the main things you'll need to consider in the beginning is whether you want to be a known or anonymous donor. A known donor doesn't necessarily mean you actually need to know the person before you donate your eggs to them. I have a known donor - we met on a support board and gradually got to know each other that way. It doesn't have to be a friend or relative - in some cases that can create more problems! Being a known donor means that you and the recipient will have a relationship, the regularity of contact between the two of you being decided on by both of you. Some choose annual updates, others see each other frequently. As well as learning in this thread, it would be helpful for you if you join one of the ED boards and surround yourself with women who have been in that situation and learn from 'real life' experiences of donors and recipients. You can PM or email me if you want any info.

OK - I'm still catching up girls - back soon with more personals :)
orcarnelian@hotmail.com

Hey SuziQ,

Welcome back!!

Losing the 2 was pretty hard going for me as you can imagine. It's been a tough few months and here I go again..

Am so glad your ED is working out. September is so close...
Glad you're doing ok.

Hi SuziQ,
My TWW from hell is nearly over, if no AF today or tomorrow i will go for BT on Wed am
8.30am - so just praying as hard as i can that i make it to Wed. I really do think the TWW is the most stressful part of it all - i mean ivf is stressful anyway but the waiting game just does your head in i think - i would just like to sleep all the way thru it!
I wish you luck Suzi and hope you get a BFP in the very near future :bluedust:

Hi, have just joined this site as have been doing ICSI for a long:) time and now am looking at donor sperm as Husband has sperm count of 6!!!! Most doctors think we mean 6 million or 6 thousand but acctually 6. They are not very good and we have come to terms about using DS and feel positive about it and excited but have heaps of trouble with clinic and blood tests and general timing of everything. Wondering when are they supposed to be putting the DS in? Does this sound like a stupid question? Before or after ovulating? and how many do they usually use?

Hi Aqua,

Welcome!
Am not sure what you mean by 'when do they put them in?'
Are you still continuing with IVF -ICSI? If so - will all be the same. If you are going the IUI route - I gather you are quite young if doing this, then they 'put it in' right at ovulation. The clinic will give you a testing kit and also do some bloodtests to determine the actual day to inseminate you.
Hope that answers your question..

Hi Girls,

Well sad sad news for me. My embies didn't stick. Am a sad girl..

Hi girls not sure if im in the right place but i want to know more about being a egg donar??? It has been playing on my mind for sometime now.So i believe its time to step up and make someones family complete.
Minnie sorry to hear your bad news,i hope your ok.
Take care Em XX

Thanks Em....

You are in the right place.

It's people like you that make me smile and believe there are wonderful, generous people still in this world. I am currently using donor sperm and hopefully my eggies will get me pregnant one day, but your generosity could make someone a very very happy person.
You need to get in contact with one of the IVF clinics. I go to IVF Australia and they have branches all over. There is alway IVF Sydney, Fertility First, Next Generation and a few others. I know some ladies also advertise in Sydney Child looking for donors. The waiting list is pretty huge. Donating eggs involves some sacrifice with 2 weeks of needles (really small ones like diabetics), blood tests and scans during this 2 weeks and a 40minute day surgery to retrieve the eggs. All the costs are covered. This is what I do each time they harvest my eggs to use for all my IVF procedures.
It's a great great thing you are thinking of doing and thankyou for being so good-hearted and generous.
I hope one day, if I am in need, I will be lucky enough to find someone like you..
best...

Hi Lulu....
Im in the middle of a IVF cycle at the moment as i had my tubes tied after my last child but we have decided to have one more.EPU is on the 20th of August. Maybe it would be a good idea to donate what ever i have left. Im going thru Westmead fertility clinic.

Hi Em,

OMG - 6!!!!! You lucky wonderful girl!!!!

Here's the thing...I would say they will fertilise all the eggies with your DP sperm. The reason is that not all the eggies may not fertilise or divide. The technology is not good enough yet to freeze - raw eggs so to speak. So when someone donates - they have have to time the cycles so that the eggs are fertilised right after harvesting. If you were to donate - you would definitely have to go thru another stim cycle.

So cant you donate frozen embryos????

From the article I was reading last week..I dont think its that successful. I think they like to fertilise them immediately. As I said - I am sure with this cycle, your FS will want to fertilise all of them as you never know how many will actually work.
I guess you best check with your FS..but think this is the case..

Ok thanks Lulu. I was thinking of donating the left over fertilised eggs. I will ask the clinic on the 8th.So where to for you now??

Mumof5,
You can donate embryos if you wish - however its not advertised with most clinic.
I am currently on a waiting list for donor embryos and there is only a few clinics that offer the service. No matter what clinic you are currently doing ivf with my clinic in QLD where im on this list and a few others can organise for your embies to be transferred to their clinic for the donor program. If you need more info you can send me a private message and i will pass on whatever info i have that may help with your quest. Just wanted to say i think you are a wonderful woman for even thinking of doing this - it makes tears flow down my face that people can be so generous and want to make others life long dream come true - you deserve a medal. Best of luck to you mumof5 i just wish there were more woman like you out there.

Thanks lissie....i have done alot of soul searching and i still have alot more to do but i really feel this is the right thing for me to do.I had my tubes reversed last year and we have been trying ever since to have a baby.It really started to take over my life cause i just couldnt fall. Even tho i have 5 beautiful children i still felt like something was missing.Then i sat back and started thinking about all the people that couldnt have kids at all and i felt very very selfish. If i can make one family hole then i have done my bit in this world and i will be happy.
Take care xx

Mum05,
You truly will make someone very happy with your gift, your generosity makes me cry to think you are thinking of others, its such a desperate feeling thinking you will never be a mum its something i hate to think about but knowing there are people out there like you well maybe i too have a chance at it. You are truly a wonderful person.
I hope you can fullfill your dreams and become a mum again as you definitely deserve it with a heart as big as yours. :goodluck:

Only time will tell now. I will wait and see how many eggs i get on the 20th August and how many fertilise. Iam having two put back myself,two chances is better then one in my mind and i dont want to have to go thru this again. fs doesnt think so tho. He said i will end up with twins cause i never had any problems before i had my tubes done and ive never miscarried and im still quit young. Hehe im up for the challenge. I did speak to my fertility centre about all of this and they said lets just get you pregnant first. Then decide what to do with what i have left over. I want to do this so badly but there is still a but in the back of my mind and in my heart. All i worry about is that the child will have a good life and home and never be in harms way. I would hate to give this special gift to someone and then for them to abuse the child or treat the child wrongly,thats what worries me so much,my greatest fear. Iam so over protective of my children and i wont even let anyone else look after them.I believe noone can look after your child as good as you and if something was to happen you would never forgive yourself. I watched A Current affair last night about that poor lady and it made me cry so much. The laws in Australia or should i say Queensland are crap.

Mum05,
I agree the laws in Australia are crap - we are so far behind the rest of the world when its comes to fertility issues and private adoption. All i can say is that if you do go thru with the donation i would say in my opinion anyone going thru ivf wants a baby soooo much and are willing to put themselves thru emotional, mental and physical pain not to mention the cost that i would find it hard to believe that someone getting your embryos would be a child abuser. I know thru personal experience after 6rounds of ivf i am still willing to keep going even tho my chances are slim at best but i want a family so desperately, i want to share and to love, i want all those wonderful memories of xmas and family holidays, of spending sleepless nights with the bub etc so i think you can rest assured that if you do donate it will be to a very loving couple whom ever they are - i wish you luck with this cycle and i hope your dreams come true - its people like you that make the world a better place.