thanks Tarkine,
That's nice to know because you girls are my salvation at the moment it is awesome to talk with others in a similar situation makes you feel like your not the only person in the world that this is happening to.
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thanks Tarkine,
That's nice to know because you girls are my salvation at the moment it is awesome to talk with others in a similar situation makes you feel like your not the only person in the world that this is happening to.
Blizz,
I have no problem whatsoever about you talking/writing about your DD Paige.
I think it's a great affirmation of the process working. Also, she is part of your life, like your DH.
Actually I had this thought this morning too when I was rabbiting on about things other than SD, and wondering whether I should be in general chatter.
Then I thought - this is about my mind/emotions as well as the process, so as long as people don't mind I'll talk about day to day stuff too.
Re the other post - wish it was that easy to tell my subconcious to shut up!
We've got the same problem too re bills etc - we had a great system in the old place, but then we moved and now everythings everywhere. Hopefully we'll get organised soon.
Sorry your Mum caused you some dramas.
Tarkine,
Yes, our cat has taken to running up and down the hallway, particularly at 5 am when he believes we should be getting ready to wake up and feed him. He was MOST unimpressed that we had a sleep in this morning, and spent the last 1/2 hour Meowing outside the door.
We deliberately shut the door to keep him out, after his 4am wake up call the first night we were here.
DH and I are going out for a walk. Talk soon!
Gargy
lol about the sub concious thing if only it were that easy, Yeah I don't think we can ever turn that off, just keep thinking positive thoughts I'm sending you all of my positive thoughts as well.
I'm glad you girls don't mind me talking about dd it's hard not to bring her in to conversation as there is only the three of us Paige, Sheppy and I alot of the time.
I truely hope you will be chatting to me about your own children in the near future!!!!!
Gargy,
I love hearing about what's happening in your life it helps me understand more where you are coming from and I understand what a release it is to be able to talk about your life to others.
I'm honestly telling you guys more than I thought I would when I started posting I've always regarded the DS thing as DH's story to tell if he chooses but I realise now that it is as much my journey as well If for different reasons and I need to talk about it it is in my nature I can't bottle things up.
Tarkine,
I'd love to see the cat olympics,DH won't let me get a cat and I don't think it would be wise to bring a kitten in to our household at the moment Paige has just learnt how to hold on to Sheppy's tail and follow him around the house much to his disgust, the more I growl the more she does!! you Know the scenario!!!!a poor Kitten wouldn't cope neither would an adopted cat, it just wouldn't be fair.
unfortunately I had to can my plans for domestic godess tasks as Paige and I have had two visitors today but it was nice to have an excuse to sit and chat and drink tea and coffee (my monthly quota)
I don't normally drink either and I'll be on the toot all night now sorry TMI
I might do a bit of organising now DD has gone to bed heres to a better night than last night.
Oh, I had the same thought. I write WAY too many revealing things! However, I like you believe that it is theraputic. Also, I think it is good to talk to others in similar situations for support.
I found a post by BB the other day worrying about revealing doctor names (in relation to legal action) and I thought smugly 'nope, never done that.' Then I did a google search and found out that I HAD!! Luckily I'd said nice things, but I thought I'd been more careful than that! Then again it was a direct question about my clinic - and I spelt the doctor's name incorrectly anyway!
So, it's really eay to talk about things that you thought you wouldn't! And I'm like you Blizz, I don't really believe in bottling things up, which is probably why I'm finding it hard to deal with people at work. They know something is up but not what.
I know that feeling with work, I just haven't managed to find a way to block them out effectively I know they mean well but I really don't need extra pressure in the TWW let alone being able to have the ablility to tell people about a PG in my own good time most people can wait till the twelve week mark, I just keep getting "so are you?" then I am faced with giving up my private moment or bold faced lying and I can not lie I just don't feel comfortable.
It would have been great if I had stayed PG in Nov as all of the testing and results were done on a long weekend so I could come back to work and no-body was any the wiser but alas it wasn't to be
I was thinking I would love to stay and chat a while but my eyes have gone all fuzzy so I guess that's my cue to try and get back some of the sleep I missed last night, chat to you soon Gargy, sleep well.
Hey Blizz,
Actually I was surprised to hear from you, I thought you would have been in bed ages ago (not judging, just thought you would have crashed out before now!)
Have a good sleep! And here's hoping DD has a good night's sleep too!
morning ladies,
only one wake up last night 2:30/bottle/bed, then she slept till 7 and I heard her talking to her self utill 8:30 by this stage she had piffed all of her bed time items out of her cot including her "ummy"
Gargy, I am my own worst enemy I don't like going to bed early but then I pay for it the next day.
I got caught up starting to organise my study last night and then got side tracked posting (might have to try cleaning with the computer turned off next time, I think I may have a slight addiction problem, you see I'm addicted to BB!!!!!)
LOL - you're hilarious!
Although I can't talk - I didn't go to bed until after 1am!!
No enthusiasm about cleaning the study here though...
It's a matter of my own personal safety our study is our official dumping ground so things are piled up to the ceiling and balanced precariously on top of each other (hence the reason I'm keen to push the walls out a bit or at least build some storage as we just don't have any at the moment)
**Gargy sighs and rolls off the lounge**
Ok, Blizz has shamed me, better go and do some housework!
ohhh please don't let me spoil your relaxing sunday, I'm just making the most of DD's down time while she is slumbering other than that I have been taking it easy.
at the risk of having a punch thrown at me - how are you feeling?, no more yucky dreams I hope?
I meant to ask soooo you went to bed at 1am, but....did you sleep all night? and what day is "D"day? or should I say POAS day?
Actually DH started the cleaning so I thought I'd better join him. So far I've put clothes away, made the bed and cleared out my old purse and put the new stuff in. DH has put on a load of washing and done the washing up. He's currently making lunch as I sneak on here (I'm supposedly tidying the lounge LOL)
I have to do something about the study as there is a strange smell coming from somewhere and DH and I can't locate the source.
1am sleep time was due to being silly and having a nana nap in the afternoon. I had trouble going to sleep but once I was there I was ok.
Actually DH had a dream that I was telling everyone my story on the internet and he was trying to be supportive but the cat was trying to stop me falling pregnant. I had to wake him up because he was calling out and quite distressed. We had a talk in bed late last night - obviously the waiting game is getting to him too.
I change from being restless to total lethargy. I don't want to clean the study as it seems insermountable but I know it has to be done. My boobs are sore and quite full, but I've been duped with that symptom before and I'm trying to ignore it. A lot more tummy rubbing but again not sure if this is a true symptom or just my brain trying to reassure itself.
I'm not really a cranky pants (no need to worry about punching) although Alisan pointed out that everyone at work might be too scared to ask so maybe I am coming across this way. No, I think at work, given it's the first week, everyone is too absorbed in their own stress to be caring about others. Possibly a good thing.
Anyway, must go and do something again...talk soon.
makes sense, Think you've both guilted me now, I have good intentions but I keep getting distracted can't imagine how... oh well...computer goes off now!!!!! talk to you later tonight if you're floating around.
Hi everone,
Well the study is functional now but I can't find the funky smell - have a feeling the carpets may have got wet from an open window.
All my school stuff is still in boxes ready to be sorted - but I'm REALLY BORED and RESENTFUL now so I'm giving up...
DH has found some of his vinyl singles and records so we have been playing those during the afternoon - that made the time go faster.
I think I need to get out of the house - I'm getting cabin fever.
I watched the sun come up this morning before heading off to bed. I had a cup of real coffee 7pmish last night and I wasn't tired til 6am, up again at 1pm, much to the disgust of the cats, although one was pushed out the door at 6am.
I did the house cleaning yesterday, scrubbed the kitchen floor and gave everything a thorough clean after two weeks of tradies through the house, I had been resisting the temptation to do anything but a quick vacuum and it was getting on my nerves.
We had friends over last night and at least IVF wasn't mentioned nor was DS. Certainly not the sort of thing that can easily fit into a conversation. I know people only mean to be nice, but sometimes you want to slap them around the head with a frozen kipper!
The legality of mentioning doctors.. I'll keep that in mind thanks for the heads up Gargy.
wow you've acheived more than me....I've just done battle in the supermarket and am about to cook a few simple treats for our lunchboxes thought Paige and I might tackle the good old chocolate crackle should be fun or at least messy!!!!
sounds like you both had fun in the supermarket, I have to laugh DH has a strange effect on children they all just stare at him as if they think he is going to pull out a red nose and curly wig and do a funny dance!!!! he was getting really paranoid about it at one stage LOL
Tarkine,
I thought that I was a night owl, you'll have to lay of the real coffee LOL!!!Oh the dust and mess..... that is one thing that scares me silly about rennovating, we may even move out for the big stuff as I have fairly severe asthma and I think I may also be developing some allergies in my old age (Including one to our dog but that one I'm going to ignore and put up with)
Oh well of to cook crackles wish me luck
Wow Tarkine - did the coffee keep you up that late or the visitors? Or just general worrying? LOL at the cats - yes they do get very miffed if you upset their routine!
Good on you for all the housecleaning - I haven't done renovations but could understand the complete frustration of not be able to clean.
I'm not sure about the legalities - I think it was more about when things had gone wrong in the hospital and people were complaining about the Ob. The thread disappeared shortly afterwards anyway so I'm not sure what the rules are. I just went :doh: because I thought I was being far more anonymous than I actually was.
Frozen kipper away - I generally bring up the subject anyway. Most people are ok about speaking about it once they have an opening. Although can relate - I think I have mentioned the weirdness at work about three million times already!!
Hey Blizz,
Lately children seem to have this obsession with DH too - I'm just taking it as a good sign that he can now relate to having children.
crackles were fun and messy but when it came to bath time Paige got really upset so consequently did I.
she was so stressed out about bath time that she bit me hard on the shoulder:cry:.
I think she may be freaked out by the plug being removed but looks like I have a battle ahead of me to get her back in to enjoying her baths (full post else where on BB)
I reckon it's a good sign about your DH and the kids, Kids are intuitive and know kid people when they seem them, they are smart little cookies.
Tarkine, how tired must you be feeling right now LOL, make sure you get some sleep tonight hey!
I've got my second scan tomorrow arvo so fingers crossed (last one hurt a bit it usually does when this one girl does it) I'm back in to my Gyno so hopefully it should be better I AM OVER INTERNAL SCANS!!!! sorry got that out of my system, all this time of IVF and pg has definately made me less prudish.
Just had my dose of reality TV. They had a 15 year old on 'So You Think You Can Dance' who brought tears to my eyes. He will be absolutely wonderful when he is old enough to register! And all the way from Innesvale too!
Such a shame Blizz that the chocolate crackles didn't turn out so well. Hope you can get Paige over her fright in the bath.
Fingers crossed for the scan!
Hey Tarkine - although you're probably asleep by now!
Thinking of toddling off myself actually. DH has been restless all day and has been unpacking more boxes. Most boxes had his record collection in them so now they are in a cupboard and accessable (finally). Found most of the videos and DVDs too.
:bedtime: Goodnight!
I watched it to, he's definately one to watch, wouldn't it be nice to be co-ordinated like that? (sorry you probably are it's just me who's got the co-ordination of a cabbage!!!!!
Goodnight ladies !!!!
Hey girls.
I spoke to my mum about being an ED the other day and she was a bit apprehensive. she worries about bringing a child into the world that i have no input into the upbringing of iykwim. I have decided that if there is not meant to be a child the emby wont stick and yes there would be disappointment but if it is meant to be then it will be iykwim
Gargy, i dont mean that u come across as a meanie :p i meant that maybe they can sense something is up and dont want to set off an emotional outburst JIC u r hormonal.
I too have been a domestic goddess lately! unusual for me! I have done 8 or 9 loads of washing in the past 3 days and have heaps more to go! see, i am not a domestic goddess :lol:
Blizz, I am not game enough to cook with my kids yet, i dont want to have to clean up the mess :lol:
Ali, I can recomend chocolate crackles, I put a table cloth on our kitchen floor (it's tiled) and just let her go for it, let her make her own crackles and salvaged the others for DH before the taste testing of the spoon began (I'm not really a fan of them myself) they are super easy to make and really hands on, with little mess.
Just out of curiosity are you and Ali or an Alison? I'm an Alison with one 'L' but mostly go by Allie (think Alison was a name of my generation)
What ever you decide with the egg donation it's nice that you are even able to consider the needs of others, it would of course be hard for your Mum to understand exactly as you are her baby, I'll be honest I never considered the issue myself at all until we had fertility issues ourselves.
I guess that is something I hadn't thought about yet is how would I feel about Paige donating her eggs, I guess our generation will be more undersanding because we are living it now, oh I don't know, can't really go there at the moment and I don't want to wish my journey on my little girl even though I don't regret it myself I am definately stronger as a result.
speaking of domestic godess it is time for me to go and make our lunches for work tomorrow and find us some clothing to wear oh and look it's 10:30 almost, good to see that I'm keeping to my schedule of Midnight to bed, at least I'm consistant,
And can I just ask......Where did that weekend just go????????????
Blizz, i am an alison but i prefer ali. when i was younger i did spell it allie but my aunty never spelt it right and i just thought i would see how many people changed how they wrote it. and i figure ali is a closer shortening than allie iykwim.
I have decided i will donate but may not tell my folks, or if i do i will expain my veiw on it that if there is not meant to be a baby then there wont be.
Ali,
mine just sort of got shortened the Allie way, I went through a stage at high school of being Allyson (thought it looked more glamerous LOL)
Donating eggs is a wonderful gift for some one and I respect you for doing it.
I've just finished my packing, am all set for work....... Oh Joy!! and was about to head to bed when I suddenly realised...... i am just not tired!!!, so a little late night posting should wear me out I hope.
My DH is home tomorrow night, yay!!! six days off, I don't know if I will ever get the hang of this shift work thing.
I've just finished pasting the Photos of our cooking adventure in DD's daycare book she really DID make a mess.
I am finding it so hard to go back to work after a weekend at the moment, I just don't want to be there any more, don't get me wrong I love the kids but I really need a change 12 years is enough, sorry...got that over and done with.
darn it I can hear DD's musical star...oh well no noise yet from her so I'll just ignore it.
Blizz, it does tht when there is an issue with the database. ia hve done it and there has been 14 birthday messages once
LOL look at the new post page now...I see what you mean!! thought everything seemed a little slower tonight
Gargy, it was the coffee that kept me up that late. I've been on decafe everything trying to get myself used to not drinking the real stuff (i love coffee and there was one stage where I was having 4 cups a day, many years ago of the real stuff, chocolate etc and I'd still sleep at night) A 'real' coffee before midday is all I can stand now - otherwise I'm running around the house/office. I once painted a huge lounge room in 4hours on 2L of pepsi max and while my body was exhausted my brain was still running around!
Blizz, i remember those heady days of high school trying to spell my name without using vowels because it looked more sophisticated.. nowadays I'm just happy if people can say my name correctly!!
It has been raining here all morning and it has been beautiful, just love the rain, very cleansing.
I have been thinking lately of all of the issues/complications of being open with bubs regarding the donor issue - how will it affect DH. and how will it affect MIL who married a man who has 5 grandchildren, but when her daughter had a baby, she felt it was her first biological grandchild and it was different to the others (and she told me this, along with "well Dh has got two brothers, surely you can get sperm from them"). We went around there the other night and showed her the donor information that we chose.. trying to get her around to the idea that DS will be used and that regardless of the biology, bubs will still be her grandchild - I know my mum would just have accepted it and loved bubs regardless (she was always 'adopting' my friends when I was a teenager).. but I do have a nagging thought at the back of my mind - what if? What if this bubs is treated differently because they are not the biological offspring of gran? Bubs is only going to have one set of grandparents (both of my parents are dead), so I do have a nagging concern. i was thinking (and this is very early stages) that if all goes well and we do go into labour at 9mths with a bubs that I might invite her along, to sit quietly in the corner (if she wants to) for the event, to try and get her more accustomed/accepting (not sure on the right word) of bubs, so there is some form of connection there from the word go??
what do you ladies think??
Hi girls,
how frustrating scan today wasn't much better than the one last week follies only measuring 11mms or 12mms. Gyno said I reckon they will want me to scan later in the week, that's another appointment I need to fit around work hours somehow and my boss is already stressing because we are down 5 casual staff members for thu & Fri already what with schools starting to go back.
Topping off my day NO DH!! he's been drinking beer with the boys all day and has decided to come home in the morning.
why he couldn't ring me at work to tell me this instead of letting me rev Paige up about daddy being home only to have her wander through the house looking for "da-ddy, da-ddy" then finding a rotten answering machine messege:angry:
any way have recovered now will have an early night myself tonight I think
Tarkine,
I just read the rest of your post that's a tough situation I'm not really sure how the best way to handle it would be? we were lucky that DS wasn't an issue for any member of our families (well not that they have told me) I'm sure your bubba will weave his/her own spell around grandma eventually, I don't know about having her at the birth that is a fairly personal choice I guess, I was adament that I only wanted DH at the birth but my SIL on DH's side works at the hospital and some how she managed to make her way in in the last stages of my labour I think it was the timing of the question put to me during a couple of close contractions it went something like "is it ok if ..comes in" my response was "I don't caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaare!!!!LOL or words to that effect, when it came down to it I didn't mind.
next PG my other SIL on DH's side will be invited to be there for different reasons, she has been having her own infertility battle at the same time as us but unfortunately things aren't looking that great for her now so I want her to share my birth if she wants to.
sorry I'm not much help hopefully the others will have some ideas for you
Blizz.. sounds like work is crazy for you at the moment.
I hate those internal ultrasounds. I remember seeing a gyni years ago, and his name was Elvis Semen... Ahh what a classic name for a doctor!!
Have to go ginger cat is wailing at the door.. he thinks that if I lock myself in a room, he is actually locked in the rest of the house - typical male!!
thats soooo funny, we had a tour guide on the Cadbury Chocolate factory tour who was called Mandy Minty (he,he,he)
:cry: I feel so devistated. AF started about 1/2 hour ago. I was trying to ignore the twinges in my stomach last night but it started this morning. I feel numb...
:
OH NO!!!!!!:cry: this is just not fair!!!! :hugs: hun, u know we r all her 4 u, vent away if u need 2.
Gargy, darling.. I don't know what to say. :hugs: Will always be here for you if you need to talk/yell/scream or just need someone to listen.
Someone sent me this link about two unlikely friends - maybe it will cheer you up as you are a fellow animal loverhttp://www.slide.com/r/vt7JXhXF4D9gZ_j5FjFXn5EdqAOhOpcQ
Gargy,
i've just read your post in my lunch break, oh sweety I'm devestated for you, I'm so sorry:hugs: I know nothing much helps when this happens but I'm here when you want to talk, take care of yourself
Hi everyone and thanks.
My Head Teacher/Manager had a long talk with me and told me to go home after my last class, which I did (well, via Medicare, which in hindsight was a really silly move - nothing like being really sad in a shopping centre full of people).
The cat won't move from my lap, keeps rubbing my face and purring to console me.
Going to bed with chocolate - talk soon.
I'll catch up with you all properly when I don't feel so sad.
Oh Gargy...I am so so sorry sweetheart...
be kind to yourself..
HI Gargy,
So so so sorry hun - its just not fair sometimes i know - like Lulu said be kind to yourself :hug: thinking of you - wish there was something i could say or do but unfortunatley there isn't. Basically it just sucks. I always resort to chocolate too.