Potential/Current Donors Discussion Thread #1

I have a daughter conceived by egg donation. I have no regrets and want to tell the world that my (anonymous) donor did a wonderful thing. I hope my daughter thinks so too, she is still a little young to understand it all.

Here is my poem ....

You gave me motherhood and joy
and yet I'll never know you ?


What generous instinct prompted you
to give your love and energy ?
to willingly subject yourself to bruising and intrusion
to give a chance to someone whom you'll never see or meet ?

Now thanks to you, I have a child,
A lovely smiling baby girl !

You wrote me a letter, you planted a tree
for the growing child you'll never see
It made me cry, and made me proud
to bear your genes within me.

I hope she grows up just like you,
Not just kind thoughts, but actions too,
Oh what a gift you've given me,
You're so, so special, and so is she.

That is a really lovely poem Claire!

If you were to use DE's again would you use known or anon?

oh Claire that is so lovely. thank you for sharing it with us.
xx

Well that's a complicated question.
My daughter was born pre 2005 when donors could remain anonymous.
I would like my daughter to know all she can about her origins, but the only way she will really do that is if my donor decides to make her details available for contact.

I didn't have the option of a known donor - I couldn't imagine any of my friends or family being 'hands off' enough with a child who was theirs genetically.

I do know that from the limited information I had, I felt comfortable with my anonymous donor and have never regretted anything - it just 'felt right'.

i only hope my daughter thinks so.

Claire,

You are your daughters mummy and always will be and i am sure she knows this and always will even when she understands the situation you will always be her mummy no matter what. I loved the poem. Thankyou for sharing your story.

I was wondering if anyone has donated eggs, and if they have what was involved. I goggled egg donation, and it talked about being between 21 and 38, having finished your family. can you just 'donate' eggs - can they be stored effectively, or do you have to have a reciepent organised to recieve said eggs?

I three beautiful amazing healthy children. My family is finished, yet i know that I still have eggs on board that I don't need, but would love to give - to be able to give the potential gift of a child would be such a wonderful thing to do.

If this isn't in the right forum, mods feel free to move.

Firstly WOW and how wonderful you feel that way. I wanted to let you know that there is another Aussie private forum designed purely for egg donors and recipients (and potential donors/recipients) if you ever wanted to talk to women there about their experiences etc. too. I can PM you the details if you are interested.

Egg donation is a wonderful gift. There is a dearth of donors in Australia and recipients can be waiting for years before their number comes up if ever.

Eggs collected through a normal IVF cycle are normally fertilised straight away with a recipient's partner's sperm (or sometimes donor sperm) and resulting embryos transferred and/or frozen depending on how many and whether you are donating to more than one woman.

You can do known or anonymous egg donation in Australia.

Egg freezing technology is still being developed although I think it is becoming available overseas, but they are much harder to freeze successfully.

My sister is about to go through this process for me (she is wonderful too) so I know how amazing it is to offer such a gift. She has 3 children, doesn't plan to have any more and is younger than me (with obviously proven fertility).

xx

thanks dusty - What a beautiful gift your sister is giving you. made me go all tingly reading that.

yes please if you could pm the details that would be great.

OOOh i've been thinking about doing that too - I'm obviously pretty fertile, and only want one more... and that will be in the next year or so, so I'll still be reasonably young-ish...
Can i have those details too please Dusty? I would love to help someone achieve their goal of having a bubba!!!

Aww you two have made my day :)

I forgot to mention that there is no cost to the egg donor. All medical expenses are met and normally other reasonable expenses are too (travel, child care etc). By law all egg donation in Australia is a donation and as such unpaid.

Also typically it is up to the donor where it takes place etc. That is, there should be minimal inconvenience for the donor. A clinic also goes out of its way to treat a donor incredibly well in my experience.
xx

Dusty - one question - uh.. does it hurt?! The actual procedure? I don't really know the ins and outs of IVF cos I've been lucky not to have to go down that path.

I mean a little bit of pain is fine, but if its heaps I'd like to be told beforehand!!! ;)

Good question Mel. I reckon you should hang out in the LTTTC/AC forum for a while too as everyone is different.

For me the biggest pain has always been emotional. The emotional ups and downs of not knowing whether it will go ahead, or whether it worked or not or wondering where to next.

The physical side didn't affect me much at all.

The daily injections (for 10-13 days) honestly hurt heaps less than plucking my eyebrows and is surprisingly easy. There is one jab at the very end that triggers your eggs which can sting a bit. You may feel a bit swollen towards the end of the cycle as the follicles grow. Most women say it can feel like a heavy period. Life can go on as normal in most cases. There are some risks associated with IVF like OHSS. In my experience it seems women with PCOS have a much higher chance of that happening. Egg pick up is a procedure in a theatre normally under a sedative which acts much like an anesthetic. I have always found it a fairly easy process with the possibility of a little cramping and bleeding/spotting afterwards for 24 hours. But this is me, and I reckon talking or listening to others experiences is well worth knowing all possibilities.

I talked with my sister about all the physical side of things to give her a reality check, and honestly for her it is a huge life adventure that would be with her forever and she said the possible physical side effects for 2 weeks isn't much to bare to be able to provide a lifetime of joy for someone else. She is pretty spec.

Injections..eeek!!

Nah just kiddin... as long as i'm not being cut in half then I think it'll all be fine with me!!!

Your sister is wonderful. I would have donated for you too, if you'd asked ;) hehe!!
(Sorry vicky to hijack your thread - but you come up with wonderful ideas!!)

I just wanted to say what a beautiful thread!

Just a quick q's what is the age bracket for donors? I have just read in here that its 21-38 but my sister and her DH volunteered eggs to close friends of theirs and their FS said my sister was too old and she was only 32? Can it be up to the FS? my sister was really dissappointed as she and her DH had given it lots of thought and really wanted to this for their friends.

Dusty your sister sounds amazing :clap:

Gudism and Astnatlaur you both are too what a wonderful gift to be able to give someone :hug: I have often thought about doing it but my DH is a bit naiive on the topic :( Maybe when our girls are a bit bigger he will come around to the idea.

No mel. glad you asked the question - i was curious too. and as you said two weeks of discomfort is nothing - and after having 3 c-sections, that is a walk in the park!

And dusty - i think your right your sister is pretty special.

Hoody - that is just what some info said on an IVF website.

I'm a little excited to see the cut off age is 38 too... is that really true? I always thought it was 35 I don't think I'll be finished with my family & BFing before then so was thinking I'd have to miss out on donating.

I am sooo glad i have found this thread! Dp and i have been talkign about egg and sperm donaion for about 2 years now and we were just saying the other night that we should look into it now coz we have decided our family is complete and we both dont see why others who want kids so badly shouldnt have what we arent using!

I will have to get some more info on it and find that other forum, do some more research!

I will be 31 in a few months so i want to do it before my little eggies get to old!

Re age, my sister is turning 36 in June and the clinic have no problems with her. You also don't have to have had, or finished having, children to be a donor. There was a wonderful SBS doco recently on Making Babies, and a single childless woman in WA anonymously (and successfully) donated to a couple. She has subsequently gone on to have her own child.

Perhaps different clinics, doctors have different attitudes/policies but there are women out there who also look for donors privately through advertisements etc. Its a whole new world as I have discovered.

ETA: Natural fertility generally starts to fall at about 35 and more rapidly from 38 on but for women with children already their fertility may not decline then or as quickly. I think it is due to the fact they have had their 'systems' shut off for periods of pg and BF. That is how our counsellor explained it to us anyway.

ETA2: I just want to cry with happiness when I see so many generous souls as I am seeing here. :hug: I am happy to PM anyone interested the details.