Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 18 of 44

Thread: Teacher troubles....

  1. #1

    Default Teacher troubles....

    I have no idea if I'm being unreasonable. I'm a bit mama bear when it comes to my children.
    DS2 used to love school. He wasn't smashing it academically but if strangers asked him if he likes school he always said yeas and he was always eager to get out the door and get to school in the morning. I was happy because all I wanted from school was for him to enjoy learning. Then we moved school....

    He doesn't like his teacher and whilst I'm trying to remain impartial I can't help but to feel that he is right...... his teacher is a silly bozo.

    This is the note that came home in his Spelling book yesterday....
    "Complete two spelling activities for homework tonight. In 1.5 hours Imran completed nothing. Very disappointing."
    Am I being unrealistic in thinking that if he was doing nothing after 15 minutes she should have moved him onto a different activity? I have no idea what she thinks she will achieve by going head to head in a 90 minute battle of wills with Mr Stubborn.
    I'm very disappointed. I understand that she has to get certain things done but if children aren't responding then maybe she needs to reassess her methods. Or not?



    We are getting him assessed for ADD/ADHD but there are ways to get him to do his work. At home we do stampy spelling where he has to stamp and shout each letter. Or word races where he has to collect letters to make words. She has pressured us quite hard about the assessment but a diagnosis won't change him - he will still be who he is and we can't fix him for her no matter how many snarky notes she writes because frankly he's not broken. He's clever, funny and sharp as a tack.
    I seem to have started ranting........

    Homework? - I got a note home saying he hadn't handed his homework in. He had done the work but forgotten to take it out of his bag and put it in the box. Is it expecting too much that she should ask him if he has his work before sending me a note? Or are children meant to put their work in the box without any prompts every time?

    TBH I'm thinking that if she will teach him again next year, unless something changes I will pull him out of the school.
    Or is the problem my wild boy? But if the problem is the wild boy..... she's the adult. Should she be able to work around him a bit?

    I'm feeling so very insecure about my parenting right now. I don't know what to do.

  2. #2

    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Epping, VIC
    Posts
    2,546

    Default

    I don't think you are being unreasonable.
    What grade is your son in?

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Bonbeach, Melbourne
    Posts
    7,177

    Default

    So she just let him sit there for the rest of the 90 minutes? Wow.

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Adelaide, SA
    Posts
    3,962

    Default

    I don't think your being unreasonable, in all honesty I think the issue lies with what she expects from him and the way she goes about it.

    Sending snarly notes home is not going to help things. Pushing you to have your child assessed is not going to change things.

    It doesn't sound like she is very "adaptable".

    When I was having issues with DS1's teacher, we organised for a meeting after school. DH and I set out to her what our expectations were, both of our son, and what we expected from her, as the teacher. We then set some mutual goals for DS1 to achieve and had a genersl conversation about the curriculum, what's expected of that grade level student etc. Since the meeting DS1 has been a different kid at school, and the teacher has adapted to meet his needs as well.

    I highly recommend sitting down and having a chat with the teacher as a starting point.

    Good luck

  5. #5

    Default

    How old is your DS2?

    I think sometimes as parents we can be emotional about issues concerning our kids. We have every right to. It is our maternal instinct to protect. Not saying that you are being unreasonable, just sometimes we don't see the whole picture.

    Am I right in thinking that he had numerous spelling activities he could choose from to complete his spelling and he didn't choose any of them? Hence him having to complete two spelling activities at home? I do think there are some tasks children need to complete and should not always be able to move on and be 'rewarded' by getting out of it IYKWIM. Have you spoken to him about it and why he didn't complete it?

    I would maybe organise a meeting with the teacher. Try and get to the bottom of why he is choosing not to complete his activities at school. What techniques she uses to try and get him to complete tasks. You may find she has gone through a range of strategies with him and he still didn't complete it in that time so she has sent it home to do. If she hasn't gone through a range of strategies and just let him sit there, then that is very poor on her part.

    I also highly doubt the teacher didn't prompt the class to hand in their homework. I know I can stand up the front and say 3 times has everyone bought their homework in and notes, lunch orders, etc. and there will be kids that hand it in at the end of the day because they forgot they had it in their bag even though I have asked 3-5 times! This does teachers heads in! There is only so many times you can ask.

    Again I don't know this teacher, I am just trying to see it from the other side as well.
    Hopefully you can get to the bottom of it so that your little man is happy at school once again.

  6. #6

    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Eastern Surburbs, Melbourne
    Posts
    1,841

    Default

    Organise an interview with the teacher and the year level coordinator. Let them know you want to talk about ways both sides can help your son.

    Sometimes talking things through is enough to give you both ideas of how to deal with difficult situations. Sometimes a whole different approach is needed.

    Having him assessed is not going to solve how he learns and if she is not going to teach accordingly then there is no reason to have him assessed.

  7. #7

    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    4,031

    Default

    Mmmm, I think it's worth a chat that you and your DH attend with his teacher.
    I think to leave him sit there without prompting at all is unacceptable.

    We are going through the same assessment with our DS2 at the moment. ADD/ADHD was mentioned this morning at our Paed Appt. She referred me to the Raising Childrens Network webiste and I have found it very infomative and helpful.

    My DS2's teacher is aware of issues with him, in fact she rasied them with us in a meeting, she is helpful and often is thinking of ways to help him work better, including asking him if he would like to wear head phones to block out distractions. They have also had the literacy coach come in and help.
    Like your DS he is smart, clever and on the ball with most things, his attention on the other hand is terrible and has been known to sit there and not do anything when asked to do set tasks. Not for wanting not to do the task, rather he has forgotten what to do when he got there and has not asked for help. When he has been offered the help and reminded, he will get on with whatever is asked.

    As Rivlas has mentioned, having the assement will not change his behaviour, it will however give your teacher tools to teach correctly and bring in extra help if needed, that's my thinking anyway and was mentioned by the Paed this morning.

    How old is he? I still have to prompt my DS2 to change his books over, remember to put in lunch orders and just generally remind him of most things about school most days. He is Grade 1 (6yrs turning 7yrs).

    It sounds like her expectations are too high.

  8. #8

    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    Ubiquity
    Posts
    9,922

    Default

    Firstly she sounds very immature. I can't count on my hands the times DS has not completed tasks in the times given.

    I hate teachers that send home notes like this. And don't get me started on the language "Dissapointed". I'm sorry but whoopdeedoo. That doesn't help you or her or DS. Maybe trying to sit down and figure out what the problem is might help. Children aren't obnoxious just because. Even if it looks that way I can almost 100% guarantee its not the case. I'm not obnoxious just because. So why not sit down and work out what the problem is. I don't think you are overreacting. I think you are on the money. Is there a way you can assure he won't have her next year? I can't believe how little support they are giving you and him. It's disgraceful.

  9. #9

    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    3,991

    Default

    I'd ask her if she has communication and adaptability issues and if perhaps she should get assessed.

    No really, I think she sounds like she sucks and I'd be considering a new school even this year. At least start with a meeting and talk to the principal.

  10. #10

    Default

    Hm. Bit of both. I would be annoyed as a parent as ds could not access the curriculum, but as a teacher I'd not allow "stampy spelling" as I can't cope with the noise. My ds also forgets to hand stuff in, even with reminders, but I'd do a bag check before a snotty letter home.

    Btw, "disappointed" is teacher for peed off.

    Have a chat. Then involve the management team of the school.

    I do wholrheartedly agree 90 mins with nothing done is bad on her part, except in exceptional circumstances but you should have been in dialogue long before now in that case.

  11. #11

    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    Ubiquity
    Posts
    9,922

    Default

    Either way it doesn't help. It's condescending and unnecessary. But that's just me let's not get hung up on the words. I knew that one would get me hung

    Anyway carry on

  12. #12

    Default

    DS is in year 2. He was 7 in March so he is one of the younger students in his year.

    I'm aware that stampy spelling isn't appropriate for a classroom environment but DS is a very enthusiastic learner when he is interested. Ask him to write sentences with his spelling words and he will stare out a window for an hour but if you ask him to write a puppet show with them he will fight to be allowed to keep writing even when it is break time.

    I love my Dad so much. I spoke with him and he had a bit of a rant about the teachers he encountered who carried on as if every time we had problems in class it was because of bad parents not bad teachers.

    I sent a sensory cushion to school yesterday and apparently he didn't get a chance to use it. Not really happy about that because I wanted to use it at home for homework for a while before he used it in the classroom but the teacher wanted it sooner rather than later.

  13. #13

    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Ouiinslano
    Posts
    5,303

    Default

    A teacher at a local school does stampy sight words. She also spells out words in spaghetti and let's them dry so kids can feel them, sandpaper letters... All sorts of cool stuff. So it's not impossible. She just needs to pull her socks up a bit and do some real teaching.

  14. #14

    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Adelaide, SA
    Posts
    3,962

    Default

    Why isn's stampy spelling appropriate? All kids learn differently, and if that's what your son needs to learn, then I think it's a great idea! Kids are loud, that's just something that needs to be accepted

  15. #15

    Default

    Um, sounds like the problem is the teacher. She needs to adapt her teaching style to help him if there are areas he finds harder.

    DD1 is in the same year as your DS2 and her teacher is almost the complete opposite of what you just described. She is the best teacher I've ever seen, but still... Homework is still something DD1's teacher and school consider optional at this point. Given at the start of the week, handed in on Friday. We get it emailed to us on Sunday and part of it is basically Reading Eggs and Mathletics online whenever they feel like it.

    Your DS2 sounds like most boys of his age tbh.

  16. #16

    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    in the ning nang nong
    Posts
    12,163

    Default

    The teacher sounds like a douche.

    I'd have a chat with her, if that didn't help, I'd have a chat with the coordinator and her together.

    Her job is to teach your child. What on earth was he doing for 90 minutes?? Was he starting but not completing a bunch of stuff? Was he reading a book under the desk (I may have done that once or a bajillion times ...)? Was he sitting there doing nothing? Was he chattering to other students (I may also have been prone to that...)? Was he drawing or doing creative writing or something? Was he eating spaghetti bolognaise and playing Starcraft?

    And what the fork was the teacher doing, while he "completed nothing" and was oh so "Very disappointing."???

    And what on earth does she think you're supposed to do about it, hours and hours later, that you aren't doing in any event? He's seven. He needs leading and teaching and encouragement and stimulating options and boundaries and freedom and macaroni. That's her job to negotiate these waters. Not pottering around leaving passive aggressive notes to parents in communication books.

    If he's being disruptive and needs parental intervention, she should say so. If he didn't want to do a particular type of work and she couldn't find a way of getting him onboard, she should say so. If he keeps on reading his book or doing something else instead of doing the work he's supposed to be doing, she should (wait for it) say so. Or send him to the principal, or whatever gets done these days.

    Nufty.

    There was one teacher at my primary school who was just rubbish, and she'd leave out these work sheets which were boring and stupid and taught nothing - so I got the blind girl in my class to teach me how to write and read brail, and I wrote stories, and made up surveys I would get people do participate in, and I wrote a play. She kind of hated me anyway, and I wasn't interested in colouring in koalas and filling out answers to the work sheets she'd put out while she ran in and out having cigarettes and drinking endless cups of coffee. There's reasons why bright and resourceful kids might not "complete anything" as far as unhelpful teachers are concerned.

    Or maybe he's been swinging from the chandeliers, running amok and coordinating the slow but inevitable demise of the school's axolotl. But if it's something towards that second category (or frankly, in any event) she's not helping anything by her approach.

    So I'd politely but firmly organise a sit down, to get onto it. If someone was finding my child difficult to teach, I'd want to know why and how it could be addressed ASAP, and if it was irreconcilable then I'd want my child in another teacher's class.

    A teacher who's not a douche.

    And who knows - maybe there is something very simple and solvable, which you can sort out with her with a bit of ventilation and discussion and education (oh the irony) and Imran and her and you will all be heaps better

    I'm not saying you'll be best friends and end up sharing handbags and thermomix recipes, but it might end up being good.

  17. #17

    Default

    We have an appointment next week with an educational psychologist. He does school visits when it's appropriate.
    I don't know if I should wait until after our appointment to set up a meeting with the teacher or not.
    On one hand I want this sorted as soon as possible but on the other hand if I show up with a bunch of strategies from an expert it might go down better.

    The psych asked for copies of school reports - I might take along some copies of her notes as well. I'm sure he gets lots of parents who think the problem is teachers not their children so I need evidence lol.

  18. #18

    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    Ubiquity
    Posts
    9,922

    Default

    Is anyone ever best friends with their kids teachers? I just find that creepy.

    Next week, I hope, will be great. And I know it's been a long time coming. But in the meantime vent away. It's not watching your overall easily interested child become disinterested at school. To me that's a huge indicator towards environment. And I agree with you that perhaps her methods aren't in any way helpful for your DS. Hopefully she can see that. Otherwise I'd seriously consider pulling him out. It's just not worth it. From grade 2 on it kinda gets serious. I found with DD Grade 3 was the fix it year as she had a pretty unreasonable teacher in grade 2. Similar tactics but more aggressive, less prissy. And every year after "the crushing" DD improved. And last year she got the school gem. But if there's not room for helping DS within that school I wouldn't continue fighting.

    I really wish I could be at this apt. I hope the psych really helps her to see the light.

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •