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Thread: Elimination Communication General Discussion

  1. #37

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    Mayaness I remember your lost post; sucks that you are back in nappies overnight, you must feel quite resentful. Hopefully uni stops being so full on soon.
    On the bright side, you are at least catching some everyday.
    DD pretty much refuses the potty now, and today I've cleaned up 3 wees and 1 poo GRRR. All occured immediately after me giving up on potty.
    She also refuses to wear a nappy, she just rolls and screams when I try to put one on. It's a no win here, she thinks the carpet is the toilet.


  2. #38

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    Hi ladies! I'm new here, and I'm going to have a bit of a "me" post, if that's OK.
    This thread doesn't seem as active as some of the others, so I hope some of you are still around to give me a bit of a hand!

    I have a 3&1/2 month (almost 4 month - where has that time gone?) DD, and am only just beginning EC.

    It was something I had wanted to do, but she was in a pavlick harness for hip dysplasia, and to be honest, it kind of made everything different, so I had decided not to worry about it. Well, she has now been out of the harness for 3 weeks, and after doing a bit of reading, I thought I might give the EC a try, though I will admit I was worried if I was too late.

    So far I have caught a few wees and a poo! Gosh it's exciting, isn't it? But if I be really honest, it was good luck and timing rather than anything more on my part. I find it really hard to differentiate between "I need a burp" and "I need a pee/poo" so I seem to always choose the wrong one, is it possible that the signs are identical, or just me not being able to tell the difference? Also, when she does give a sign when feeding, there doesn't seem to be too much time between "whinge" and "wee". And sometimes when she wakes up, I have to be awfully quick as well.

    I don't feel comfortable with the elimination hold (with her hips), and our potty at home was too big. I bought one of the infant potties, but I can't nurse (feed) her and hold her over it as she is a bit big for it now - her bum sits longer than my midline, if that makes sense). So when feeding, I just lay her on a folded towel. I did try using our toilet - sitting her infront of me on the toilet (great for poos, but seems she overshoots wee over the front and on the floor - our loo not quite big enough for my big bum and hers!), but the bathroom sink works good for wees - sitting on the vanity on a folded washer, but not a good position if she needs to poo. And of course I can't yet tell the difference between the two.

    So I guess I am just after some help with the signs - working out what's what, and to make sure I am on the right track. No-one I know has done EC at all.

    Also, how long should I "offer" the potty before I consider it declined? sometimes it seems I give up to easily, and get peed on, and then others it seems she gets a bit upset if I put her there. I know, at this stage I am still focussing on reading signs and learning cues with her, but I mean for "pottytunities".

    many thanks!

  3. #39

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    I was just thinking of this thread recently! The site crash kind of killed off posts, I think.
    We're at the point now where a lot of the time DD will say 'sssss' (albeit, with a lisp!) and I'll know to get her on her plastic floor potty or the toilet seat on the loo, during the day.
    At night she's hardly weeing, but still using the vintage enamel chamber pot (and you might find this easier to use, Milly - second hand shops and dealers should have them) maybe once or twice (sometimes not at all!).
    Now that we spend a lot of time at the farm we're hardly even using nappies. 15 months old and going through maybe one nappy throughout a whole weekend is not bad going
    Still living at MiL's, and the carpet has copped stray wees, much to MiL's chagrin. She likes her to have a nappy. When she looks after DD she'll put a nappy on her, which is fine in itself...but she leaves it on and never checks it and never changes it I've gotten home to a nappy full of poo that's been there at least an hour - it's one thing to want a nappy on her to save the carpet, it's another to leave nappies to me when I don't even want nappies on her and she doesn't need them if you just PAY ATTENTION to her, seeing as she displays some obvious elimination cues. Grrr.
    ANyway, we'll be living on the farm, soon, and it will be in the past

  4. #40

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    I'd love to give this a go. My baby boy is just over 3 months old now, but his poos very irregular, sometimes every five days so I think that might make it difficult. He wees a lot though, but I can never tell when he's going to wee. I give him nappy free time on the floor a few times a day and lay him on a flat nappy in case of wees, and he always wets them. Maybe I'm not paying enough attention to his signs.. what should I be looking for?

  5. #41

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    Hi Mayaness!
    thanks for the tip about the pot, I'll keep my eye out for one!

    Hi Bec!
    our DD gets a bit of a "dance" up and fidgety when she wants to pee. But she also does this when she wants a burp so it is confusing - and I always get the wrong one when feeding! I have no idea between the "I need a poo now" and "I'm just doing a load of farts and will poo sometime today" which is a bit frustrating, because I put her on the pot for what seems ages and/or numerous times, only to have her later poo in her nappy! Apart from that one poo caught on our second day, I haven't been able to catch one since!

    Today went all "out the window" as she was all miserable after having her needles yesterday, I am hoping tomorrow we will be back on track.

  6. #42

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    This general chatter thread is fairly new, and there was an informal one before this one was created, where me and a couple of others talk about the early days of EC'ing. Just have a look through the threads on ECing here to find them
    Ingrid Bauer's book Natural Infant Hygiene is a most excellent start for the journey, as well as subscribing to Tribal Baby's website for the free info and tips.
    Above all, it's about enhancing your relationship with your child, not perfecting clean toileting It's very rewarding when you do 'get it right', and it's not the be all and end all to catch every single motion.

  7. #43

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    Mayness, I just re-read my post and it didn't come out at all the way it was meant to!
    let me re-phrase:

    our DD gets a bit of a "dance" up and fidgety when she wants to pee. But she also does this when she wants a burp so it is confusing - and I seem to mis-interpret her signs quite a bit when feeding. But if it is just during play-time, I am much better at picking up on her pee signs.
    I am still finding it hard to tell the difference between her signs for "I need a poo now" and "I'm just doing a load of farts and will poo sometime today" which is a bit frustrating for me, because I just seem to keep mis-reading those signs. I find I put her on the pot way too frequently and for too long thinking she needs a poo when really she is just working on a fart, and then I consider it "declined" and so put her nappy back on her, only to see her make those faces again, and think well she has just been on the pot for 2 mins or was just there 5 mins ago, so ignore it, but it really was a poo sign that time. So apart from that one poo caught on our second day (by pure chance), I haven't been able to catch one (ie read her signs correctly) yet!
    So I guess at the moment we are probably doing mostly well-timed "pottytunities" with some success while I still learn her signs


    I hope that makes more sense!

  8. #44

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    My post was more general, Milly, not a direct response to your post The signs will become clearer and/or you'll get to know them better! Seriously, I read the Bauer book and it was my bible.

  9. #45

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    Hi ECer's, long time no check-in (oops!)
    Good to see new folks are finding out about EC. How's it going, Milly and Bec? I found in the early months that my daughter had really obvious poo cues (grunting and making her 'poopy face' - kind of a frown), but I could not ever tell when she was going to wee. So all my wee catches were just timing. I don't know if I just wasn't tuning in well enough, or if some babies just don't signal wees?
    We were going ok for quite a while, but at the moment we are not. DD is now 18 months and hasn't pooed on the potty for about a month, and we're only getting the occasional wee. She doesn't want to sit on it, especially when she needs to go. So frustrating, as she has now started grabbing her crotch when she needs to wee so I know that she knows - but I'll put her on the potty, she'll squirm off it and not go, and then when she's standing on the floor will wee, then look down and say 'popo' (which means wee, poo, and potty). And I am so over cleaning up poopy nappies - she was so consistent with pooing on the potty, and now won't! She started making signals anywhere from 15 to 30 minutes before the poo actually emerges, so we can't sit her on the potty for that whole time or she gets bored. So we started waiting a bit before putting her on the potty, and sometimes we'd be too late, and sometimes we'd still be too early and she'd get bored of the potty so go back in a nappy and do it there, or we would let her run round outside nappy-free and she'd suddenly poo on the grass without enough warning to get the potty under her. Now this week she seems to have stopped signalling poos at all, and I have no idea why!
    So there's my tale of woe... anyone have any ideas on what I can try?

  10. #46

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    Awww, Jess, how frustrating for you
    My MiL, on the other hand, is over EC, because DD is at the stage where she knows a wee is coming, but doesn't always say something and leaves her wee on the carpet. I'm sure if she were 3 and we were toilet training her in the mainstream way MiL would be more laid back about it, but she's so confronted by the nappy-free-ness. She can't be bothered 'reading' DD, even though it's mostly easy, and if I leave DD with her she'll put a nappy on her and not check it...even when she knows DD has done a poo in it...even if I'm two hours away...
    On the upside, we're moving out of here very soon AND DD looks for the potty to use for poo! Another upside is that she's also sitting on the loo to do both wee and poo, using a child ring. Once we have a step she'll probably always look for the loo.
    I bought some Kmart training pants, but I think it will be easier to use the peapods with a wash cloth inside, on the larger button settings. Cheaper, too!
    Jess, do you think your DD would sit on the loo with a step stool to rest her feet on?

  11. #47

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    Ugh Mayaness, that must be hard to deal with - I would have thought that a grandmother would understand the importance of not leaving a bub to sit in poo! Especially if your DD is going well with EC anyway. I'm very impressed that she's sitting on the loo at 15 months. I might have to look into child rings, thanks for the suggestion.

  12. #48

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    Hi guys,

    Mayaness, how frustrating for you...

    OK so i am after a bit of advice - mainly from you Mayaness as i know you have done this, i just cant find your old tread.

    DD was part time EC (when she wasnt at daycare) and i had the support of Mum and DH who also cared for her at times and were happy to have her nappy free... Anyway, she was totally out of nappies/free from accidents by about 18mths BUT night times she still wore a nappy.

    This summer i decided that it was time to get her out of the night nappies, particularly as she was dry several nights a week and vocally wanted to be out of them., So we tried and she did really well, one maybe 2 wet bed/week. Recently she has changed bedrooms and beds due to the babies EDD rapidly approcahing. We have had no problems with sleeping or the room or the bed (loads of prep work - weeks of talking about it) but she is wet EVERY night, not only this, she is not waking up when she does it anymore (she is cold when she wakes).

    Other than the bed, she has refused day sleeps lately, but still rests, i am thinking that this possibly is impacting on her ability to wake for a wee (which she had done on occasions)

    So basically im asking, should i stop what i am doing? any other suggestions to try? (she will be 3 in 2 weeks and has a very good understanding of it all and is upset every night when she discovers she is wet)

    Thanks

  13. #49

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    Sammiejane - I had a similar thing with my DD, i.e. she was out of nappies during the day and mostly dry at night, but for a period of time just before she turned 3, she seemed to "regress" and have an accident every night for a while. What we did was:
    1) Put her on the potty before she went to bed.
    2) She would usually wee at the same time each night, so for a few nights we woke her around that time and put her on the potty.
    After about a week of this, she started waking for a wee during the night herself.
    HTH.

  14. #50

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    THanks Starfish - i was thinking of this, but also wondered if waking them up was sort of outside ECing?
    I was up a million times last night last night to wee myself, so each time i checked her to see when she was wet - at 5 am she was still dry but by 7 she was wet, so it is only very early hours of the morning that she is wetting now.
    She has a wee in between books before bed (so she can have her last book then lights off) and she always does one.

    I think that i will check on her again for the next few nights to see if it is always an early morning wee that she does and then wake her closer to this time (so she might be able to recognise that she needs a wee instead of waking her when i go to bed when there is no 'feeling' of needing to wee)

    Thanks again for your response.

  15. #51

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    Sorry I've been MIA lately, we've been moving to the farm and I just got my horse here yesterday (woo hoo!).
    My girl will now maybe twice or 3 times a week go a whole night dry, even if she has a feed once or twice. Otherwise, it's maybe once overnight, then once on first waking, maybe a sleep and if not then another wee in about 10 mins. What she's been doing the last couple of mornings is getting fidgety, climbing down off the bed and walking to the caravan door to try to open it. I'll realise what she's doing, say "potty", she'll step down into the annex and go sit on the potty! I'm so pleased about this
    She's hardly wearing nappies now, and I've pulled out the main boosters from her Mini Lala's and Peapods and replaced them with either the smaller booster, or some other shaped terry inserts that a friend gave me, so that I can pull them down like undies. She's wearing pants that are 000 because they sit like three quarter pants and fit her bum
    We still have misses, but far, far more wins, and it's even easier now that we're out of MiL's house and in the van, on the farm!
    I'm still following everyone's journeys here, I love the updates!

  16. #52

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    Wow Mayaness, that is awesome!

  17. #53

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    hi ladies!

    Mayaness - yay for being on the farm!

    a little bit of an update. somedays we have been doing really well - our better days have been around 50% success, but our not so good days are still not so good. I have learnt that DD doesn't like the heat, and her general irritability on those days means lots of misses. And teething has been fun too. But I also have learned lots about her routine as well. She generally won't wee during a day time nap - she will most times wake up for that, but she will wee during the night. I still do part-time nappies, and really only have her nappy-less when she is playing on her mat. I just don't trust that I will get her quick enough out of the sling. I did think about taking her potty with us on an outing today, and then thought the better of it, and thought I could just hold her over a nappy, but to be honest, it is so hard just driving around, trying to find a park, walk everywhere, run errrands, and then in amongst all of that to try and find the almost non-existant parents rooms, that I just gave up, and then this evening after we came home, she wasn't interested in the potty. Hopefully tomorrow we can start afresh.
    Did any of you ladies have success with EC when out?

  18. #54

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    Hi ladies!
    Just wondering if 20 months is too late to start EC? We were catching morning wee's and the odd bedtime wee but he seems to have gone off the potty and refuses to sit on it or if he does sit on it he gets off 5 seconds later and only go in his nappy or on the floor.

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