Abusive DH

I don't have anthing constructive to add (you've had some wonderful responses)
I just hope you're ok :comfort:

Oh sweety, everyones story is different. But, at this stage in my life I would say yes, I would definitely leave. My DH is an amazing man and I can't imagine any circumstance that he would ever lay a finger on me but I was in a very violent relationship previously. The phsyical violence did not start until about 5 years into the relationship but I should have left the first time it happened. I made excuses for him and endured things that I can't even comprehend now. I should have left the first time it happened. Now I can honestly say IMO there is NEVER any excuse for violence. Having no money would be tough babe but there is support available. GL x

yes, hun, I would leave ASAP.

My DH is an emotional abuser and I had no money/car/house but I still packed up and left ASAP. Call Centrelink and find out what support and money they can give you, also Housing Trust can help you with finding a place to live/give you bond money. Do you have any family or close friends to lean on for support.

Leaving him right now doesnt have to mean leaving him forever either. DH and I are still working hard to get things back on track and have a healty relationship and it is taking a long time to get there but progress is being made. Dont be scared that you leaving has to be forever cause it doesnt. If you both love each other and are prepared to do the work to fix things it can be worked out. My DH took 12 months to actually agree to counselling and admit his faults and work on himself, so it may not happen overnight, but it can happen.

I hope you are okay right now xx

I dont think its a questions that someone can answer definately unless they are in that situation. I know my partner called me some really horrible names once and I told him if he ever did it again I would leave, 12 months later he did it again and I am still here. I have never felt threatened, (mainly because I know if he laid a hand on me he wouldn't want to close his eyes when he slept at night time), which is probably why I am still here, plus it was totally out of character for him. I do know however that if my hubby hit me once, I definately would not bring children into the situation until I could be sure that they would not be subjected to that behaviour.

hugs hun, I hope you can make a decision that is right for you
xxx

.....

Before you do anything, I think you really need to talk to him about it when he gets home. Otherwise it will turn into the proverbial elephant in the room and that wont be healthy for either of you. That said, you need to know that you will be 100% safe around him and not worry that every time you have a disagreement that he might do it again. Honestly if it were me, I wouldn't leave but I would be making it damn clear that it was the first and LAST time he ever did that to me. Technically speaking I don't have any money to my name either - I don't work and DH is the sole breadwinner and the only 'income' I get is family assistance so if I ever found myself in that situation where leaving is a real possibility, then I would start making a contingency plan to cover myself for at least a week if I did have to leave quickly.

Perhaps even look into counselling. It might do him good to talk about it with someone because for all you know he could be just as scared of it happening again as you are and he may need to learn a few strategies to help cope with anger - not saying that he has an anger management problem, but sometimes in the heat of an argument you can feel like you just want to lash out - so that he can prevent himself from doing it kwim?

Good luck :hug:

You know, if nothing else, this may provide a real oportunity for you to discuss just how vulnerable and disempowered you feel and what you would need to change in order to feel safe and like you are here by choice and not because you have nowhere to go.
No one wants to feel trapped.
I would advise on holding off on ttc for now; not just until you're feeling better about where you're at, but until you can feel better for at least a month or two, even three. You need to know that any changes that are made are going to last before you begin to think about bringing in a new life.
Good luck

YES I would definilty leave,

what is next 1 hit turns into a kick then turns into rape or something even worse..
That is how these people start out.

Wishing you the best! Think of you and your family!

My dad used to say to me " If a man hits you once, he will hit you twice". I didn't listen to him with my ex and I wish I had as he was right on the money. I don't know what advice to give you but things can esculate very quickly. Think about you. What do you want to do, do you think he may do it again later down the track, is this a good time to be ttc. I think you have had good advice about speaking to someone. You don't have to give your name. Good luck.