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Thread: Explaining to a toddler... Help please.

  1. #1

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    Default Explaining to a toddler... Help please.

    Help please. How do I explain to my gorgeous 26 month old DD that I'm going into hospital on Monday?
    It's for in unknown period of time. It could be 2 weeks or 3 more or less I just don't know.
    My amazing DP will bring DD in a couple of times a day for a bf as neither one if us is ready to wean
    TIA


  2. #2

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    Default Re: Explaining to a toddler... Help please.

    I have no idea I guess I would go with something like mummy is having a sleepover away for a little while and it will just be DD and daddy - won't that be fun!! You can help him choose what to make for dinner and he will read your stories every night! Then you can come visit mum in the day time.

    Spin it up and make it sound like it will be lots of fun for her to have time with just dad? That is a really hard thing at that age.

    I hope all is well and your stay isn't too long

  3. #3

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    Default Re: Explaining to a toddler... Help please.

    We have just been through this with my DH. Our youngest admittedly was 4yrs old. We just went with as much information as they needed to know.
    Daddy was going into hospital to fix his headaches. He will be well looked after and you can draw him a picture to make him feel better. It would be great if you help Nanna and Pop and Mum while he is getting better.
    You will see him when he gets home.

    Hope you are Ok MM, it's tough going

  4. #4

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    Default Re: Explaining to a toddler... Help please.

    Great advice above, one thing I would add is prepare her for how you may look.
    I don't know what you are going in for, but of you are likely to be hooked up to monitors, or machines try and explain them in the first couple of visits.
    When I was hospitalized before ds2 was born (5 or 6 days) he visited daily and wanted to see what was around, so we took him on little tours so he knew where I was and could picture different things when talking about it with daddy.
    We showed him the machines I was hooked up to, and the midwives ( I was on the maternity ward) often put the ctg on his tummy, or the pulse reader on his finger or listened to his heart - which made him feel comfy and at home there. He was 5 months older than your dd though.

  5. #5

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    Default Re: Explaining to a toddler... Help please.

    Oh that sounds tough. I hope things are ok for you? Doesn't sound good if you're in hospital.
    I would give simple information close to the time. At this age they are generally not good with understanding the passage of time, so tell her a short time before you go in, and say you'll see her soon, and so forth. And then prepare her for each parting and each reunion. She'll get used to it pretty quickly, though she's likely to be upset every time she says goodbye (and maybe when she sees you again, too, as she's relieved to see you).
    Depending on her personality and ability to communicate, your DH could frame it as an adventure each time, or prepare by doing pictures/gifts for mum...Always reassuring her that mum will be coming back again in time. If she has questions, answer them as honestly as you can, but simply. They don't need a lot of information, often, just the basics. So long as it is sincere.
    All the best.

  6. #6

    Default Re: Explaining to a toddler... Help please.

    When DS was that age, we went with mama's poorly, the hospital is making sure she's better. You get special Daddy time and can see me every day. This was an emergency admission though, so couldn't prepare him for it.

    Wrt machines, when he turned up I bigged them up as the cool helpful robots, look what they do! He didn't worry beforehand about it cos he didn't know, and cos I was excited about it, he was too.

  7. #7

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    Default Re: Explaining to a toddler... Help please.

    I don't think I'll have any machines hooked to me. So far we've talked about how my brain is sick and I need to go and stay in hospital so my brain can get better so I won't be crying all the time. She wants to come with me so I've explained that she will sleep at home with Dada and come and see me everyday and have bibi (bf) and cuddles together. I've also told her its not her fault and that I love her very much.
    She's a pretty switched on 2year old. Fortunately we have a strong healthy attachment so I'm hoping this separation won't damage her like it damaged me when I was 5 months old.

  8. #8

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    Default Re: Explaining to a toddler... Help please.

    No advice Frangipani but hugs to you. Sounds like an intense time for your family and I hope you are ok.

  9. #9

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    Default Re: Explaining to a toddler... Help please.

    Sounds like you have set it up perfectly, and I bet your relationship will be just as fantastic when you go home.

    Wishing you all the best x

  10. #10

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    Default Re: Explaining to a toddler... Help please.

    Thanks everyone. I'm not ok at all. I'm very unwell and need to go into hospital to get sorted and stabilized.

  11. #11

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    Default Re: Explaining to a toddler... Help please.

    Oh hun, no advice, but sending much love and strength to you for your journey to recovery 💖💕💞

  12. #12

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    Default Re: Explaining to a toddler... Help please.

    Good to hear you're going where you can get help. xo

  13. #13

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    Default Re: Explaining to a toddler... Help please.

    I'm sorry to hear you are not well, you will be in my thoughts as you make your way back to a happy and healthy FL

  14. #14

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    Default Re: Explaining to a toddler... Help please.

    Quote Originally Posted by Frangipani Lou View Post
    Thanks everyone. I'm not ok at all. I'm very unwell and need to go into hospital to get sorted and stabilized.
    Oh FL. good luck and much love and happy wishes to you.

  15. #15

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    Default Re: Explaining to a toddler... Help please.

    I think you may be surprised at how well she takes it overall. No doubt there will be moments where she will not want to go home and will cry (i had a relatively short stint away of a week), but what i found in my case is that my girls were more thinking they were missing out on 'fun stuff' (my 2 year old was *convinced* that it was a hotel and i was just living it up ).

    what are the policies where you are going? Will you be able to have some decent visiting hours? I guess overall though, the most crucial thing is to get you back on track ASAP. I would think that you might feel really really tired and maybe shorter, but more frequent trips over longer sustained visits from time to time might be the way to go.

    my only real advice is to not force it. there will be moments where either yourself or baby doesnt want the visit...dont feel you have to see it through, if it is all going cactus, let it go and send them home, they can come back later in the day and have a super fabulous time. that was something i had to learn to do with my stay.

    But most of all...I wish you so much love and healing xx it is such a dark, scary place when you feel so lost

    I hope your stay is as short as it can be and offers healing and loads of support xx

  16. #16

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    Default Explaining to a toddler... Help please.

    How are you going FL? And your DD?!

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