Yes, had some experience here. There's three possibilities as to why she does this. 1. She's self-centred and only thinks of herself.
2. It's a sign of her being really insecure. She needs you to validate her because she's unable to do it for herself and she's obviously not getting it somewhere else. The fact that she keeps ringing you looking for contact makes me think it's the later. She's trying to connect - desperately. If I read your post right, there is just over a ten year age gap, with you being older (if I'm wrong please correct me), but that could mean she's not seeing you as a peer but as a mentor/big-sister figure (basically she's given you a job - whether you wanted it or not). Have you thought that she might look up to you and that there is a power differential, and that it's not at "look at me" but seeking your approval or comfort type of situation?
3. She just hasn't thought about it. It's not deliberate but simply hasn't crossed her mind as being an issue, and unless you say something, how is she meant to know? She could have a little bit of trouble picking up on social cues, or the one's you are giving off are outside the realm of her experience so she doesn't know how to interpret them, and might just think they're your behavioural ticks rather than a response to her behaviour.
Have you tried being honest? That doesn't mean being cruel, but just calmly saying, "I'd like to be friends, but that would require you taking an interest in me and my life some times by asking, so there is a mutual exchange. Do you think we could do that?" It really is that simple. Her response to that will show what that relationship is really made of. If it's got merit, she'll acknowledge it and work on it with you. I do have to be honest with you though, from what you're written about the situation, it appears to me that you had expectations that you haven't been upfront with, and then have had a passive aggressive response when they haven't been met, rather than just coming out and saying it (even in the nicest possible way). You can't have a real friendship without honesty, so the fact it never really went anywhere can't really be all her fault. You were looking for something, and she was looking for something, and unless you actually say what it is you are actually looking for in that person it's like a game of pin the tail on the donkey. If you click it in the right spot, it's only because of luck. If you want to make sure you get it right, you got to take the blindfold off. There's a saying, unmet expectations are the quickest way of building resentments. And I think that's what has happened here.
That being said, there are worse *friendships*. She could have been the type of person to ask you about your life but didn't really care, and only asked so she could lead into a story about herself. I call them the "that happened to me but usually worse" *friend* and I find those type of people far more annoying than one that doesn't think to ask but feels comfortable enough with me to just talk and allows me to talk in the same way. It sounds like you volunteer information and that she might think she doesn't need to ask because she expects you just to tell her in the same way she just tells you, but then I'm not in the situation, so it's only conjecture.
