thread: How do you let go of anger?

  1. #1
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Jul 2006
    Cloud nine :D
    6,309

    How do you let go of anger?

    I am really angry ATM, about a lot of things! And I can't seem to let go, it's just brewing and making me more angry...


  2. #2
    Registered User

    Jan 2006
    8,369

    Re: How do you let go of anger?

    Exercise, and avoiding people. Chi kung is very relaxing.

    Music too - power ballards are great.

  3. #3
    Moderator

    Dec 2007
    Hork-Bajir Valley
    5,722

    Re: How do you let go of anger?

    I talk it out. To myself, I talk to myself a lot actually, but I find I will have a huge vent and rage and just say it all, and often multiple times, like I am telling someone else what happened, even though I know all the info etc...I say it as though I'm talking to someone who knows nothing, which does mean I go on lots of tangents with back stories etc... This mostly happens when I'm driving, but I drive a lot (over an hour Commute to work) so that is my process time.
    I then crank the music, I pick songs I know the lyrics for, and I sing them, and I put all my emotions into them, (once again often when driving otherwise Spock or dh distract me, and I can't sing so dh whinges ).
    Driving does relax me too, so often just going for a drive helps, I cruise along country roads, (easy here, I can drive and not see anyone for 10mins). And can do little streets slowly around town or go on the hwy at 100km depending on what I need.
    Depends what I am processing, this can take a few sessions. I then, do the calm meditation. There is no point me doing it if I haven't talked out loud about what happened first. Then I just close my eyes (not while driving) and do deep breathing and go to my place and try to focus on the calmness.

  4. #4
    You were RAK'ed in 2015.
    Add beansbeans! on Facebook

    May 2008
    with the fairies and butterflies
    2,535

    Re: How do you let go of anger?

    All depends what I'm angry about really.
    But a work out, talking to myself or the dog (the cats never want to hear my issues apparently), I write it down too. I'm a terrible emotional water (so will try everything before I do that one though). Mostly though I can let go of the anger and move forward when I am able to pin point why I am angry and why I am letting myself be so affected by it.
    What is currently making you angry?

  5. #5
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Oct 2008
    Victoria
    4,601

    Re: How do you let go of anger?

    I talk it out to myself too, like TT, I pretend I'm explaining the whole debacle to someone and start from the start. This really seems to work for me. I can't think of a time when it hasn't.

  6. #6
    BellyBelly Member
    Add ~clover~ on Facebook

    Sep 2007
    travelling
    9,557

    Re: How do you let go of anger?

    I usually call my bestie, depending on what it is. If I can't do that, or have coffee with a mate here, then I'll have a hot shower, or sit in my car port, with a drink & maybe a cigarette, if I have any (not a big smoker). I do usually have at least one drink though...

    Just that 10 minutes time out from the kids to think it through is enough to at least calm me down.

    The problem with me is that even if it isn't the kids causing the problem, I usually end up taking it out on them if I'm not careful. They are the only ones I have around me... So that 10 minutes outside is as much for them as it is for me.

  7. #7
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Jul 2006
    Cloud nine :D
    6,309

    Re: How do you let go of anger?

    I'm really angry at a particular person. Just can't shake it. I'm so disappointed and annoyed.

    DF understands I'm angry but doesn't really know how to help it's just brewing.

    The usual screaming whilst driving / working out is just making me more angry.

  8. #8
    Registered User

    Jan 2006
    8,369

    Re: How do you let go of anger?

    And it's ok to be angry. Has anyone told you that before? It's more about not allowing it to take over your life now.

  9. #9
    BellyBelly Member

    Jan 2010
    Shoe Heaven
    4,839

    Re: How do you let go of anger?

    I have written the person a letter, outlining what they did and how it has effected me, then I've burnt the paper and thrown it away.

    Did a huge release of stuff running through the Death Gate at a Temple this past week, it has released me from sweating the small stuff now.

  10. #10
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Jun 2010
    594

    Re: How do you let go of anger?

    I often get angry at a particular person. My coping mechanism is to immerse myself in venting (and problem solving, pros and cons if need be). Allow myself to really feel angry, think of nothing else and I mean nothing else if I waiver or go on a tangent then I bring myself back to angry, take that time to really feel, and then let it all out to my safe place.

    My safe place varies, mostly its friends and family but even they have their limits. Sometimes it's professional help in the form of talking to a counselor. Other times my diary. I've even been known to yell at a tree or two.

    But once I've done this i make the conscious decision to let it go. I can't control other people but I can control me and my life. And honestly why should I let someone else have more space in my mind and life than they're worth.

    At least this is what I tell myself.

  11. #11
    BellyBelly Member

    Mar 2006
    4,542

    Re: How do you let go of anger?

    I had to get the help & support from a psychologist - best thing I ever did.

  12. #12
    BellyBelly Member

    Nov 2008
    in the ning nang nong
    12,163

    Re: How do you let go of anger?

    Counselling and venting (to two specific confidantes, and some here on BB) and journalling and praying ...

    My anger was interfering with my life and other relationships. I needed to process it and move away from it, to stop it from continuing to hurt me - and at the same time, get some strategies for dealing with the things/people who I was getting so angry about.

    I had to do both at the same time, otherwise I'd put the fire out at one end, but it would rage on, at the other end.

  13. #13
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Jul 2006
    Cloud nine :D
    6,309

    Re: How do you let go of anger?

    It's getting very hard to get in with my psych. I'm now full time and work all the hours she does, so it feels like that rope has been cut. I only just went up full time.

    I took my anger and frustrations out at pole dancing tonight, went hard at it and it was refreshing to just work hard.

  14. #14
    BellyBelly Member

    Nov 2008
    in the ning nang nong
    12,163

    Re: How do you let go of anger?

    Is there a counsellor around with more flexible hours? The one I saw did two evenings, so I'd have appointments at 7 or 8pm.

  15. #15
    Nothing like a cuddle from DD after a hard day's work!

    Oct 2007
    in my own world
    3,267

    Re: How do you let go of anger?

    Sounds silly but i usually like to belt out emotive karaoke!

    I have also known to send emails detailing why im so angry but instead of sending it save it in my outbox and then deleting it after i felt the issue has resolved.

    Like the PP says, its ok to be angry as long as it doesnt consume you.

    Hope you sort it out soon oxox

  16. #16
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Jul 2006
    Cloud nine :D
    6,309

    Re: How do you let go of anger?

    Peanutterr - I really don't want to go through another one, bringing everything up seems too hard. And my one has been a perfect fit. I have an RDO in a months time that I can get in. Just have to stick it out.

  17. #17
    BellyBelly Member

    Nov 2008
    in the ning nang nong
    12,163

    Re: How do you let go of anger?

    that's really understandable

    I'm glad you've found one who is a good fit for you. Definitely makes all the difference