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Thread: Are you ever alone?

  1. #1

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    Default Are you ever alone?

    With work, friends, family, partner and kids, are you ever alone?



    I need time alone. I need it to recharge. I don't care what I'm doing - I like cleaning the entire house when I'm alone, or doing absolutely nothing except sitting on my butt looking up useless stuff on the net. Or reading a book, or watching a movie. Anything. As much as I love people and will happily be the centre of attention, I crave time on my own without a single other person.

    And lately that is seriously hard to come by. Monday and Tuesday DD goes to daycare and if DS will dare to sleep somewhere other than on my lap I can get some of that time and I'm ok, I'm happy. But that's all I get and I don't always get it. With two kids and DH there's always *someone*.

    Today I took both kids next door toa birthday party while DH stayed home to do whatever, then he had them both while I went out to return a DVD and just tale my time on my own. But what do you do to get that time?

  2. #2

    Default Re: Are you ever alone?

    The groceries. Seriously, that's my alone time. I wear earphones. I currently work full-time and can't wait to be back to part-time so I have time alone again. Then I bet DH will take some time off on those days just to annoy me.

    We also have two sofas, so I can sit and read on one and not be disturbed (works pretty well - but the boys are older now!). I've just bought a new sofa for Stormy's room, and that will be my hide-out. Am not telling DH where my hide-out is.

    I am sending DH off to the race cars in a couple of months for the weekend and celebrating that I can have some alone time... then my mother says she'll visit that weekend. NOOOOOO! Liebs will have early nights and I'll have hours of glorious alone-ness. Don't take that away from me.

  3. #3

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    Default Re: Are you ever alone?

    I have joined a gym with a creche. I drop Moo at kinder and then take Buster straight there so I can have a workout. Or I go when DH is home. I love it, it's definitely a favourite way to recharge for me.

    Otherwise I get alone time when DH is on night shift. I find just those couple of nights with the tv to myself, or a book in bed without having to consider what DH is doing really refreshing.

    Funnily enough, DH has been on annual leave for over 5 weeks and I have had barely any time to myself!

  4. #4

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    Default Re: Are you ever alone?

    When I am working, the mostly what I get is when DH goes out of an evening and the kids are in bed (he is an avid sports fan - so is at least about once a week I reckon) - I like having that time - although we tend to do our own thing in the evenings while watching TV - it is still nice to be totally alone sometimes. We were talking about it the other day because lots of DH friends other halves have rules about how often they are allowed out (or that could be just an excuse they tell him) - and I was saying that really I often look forward to that time - while it is nice to be together, I also quite like having the house to myself - so if he wants to go out he should go for it. On the weekends he often offers to take the kids out for a bit, and I sometimes take him up on it, but more often than not during the day I would rather just go and do whatever interesting thing they are doing (part of this is cleaning avoidance on my part I reckon)

    Between contracts I get some alone time when they are in daycare - and I do enjoy that.

  5. #5

    Default Re: Are you ever alone?

    Probably the wrong person to comment, but I am alone all the freaking time other than at work and I am so over it, never having someone to have a conversation with, do anything with, laugh with, it sucks.

  6. #6

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    Default Re: Are you ever alone?

    I get up early. On days when kids get up before or with me, i struggle bc i miss out on the me time.

    DH is a shift worker, and i also enjoy the night shifts bc (if i can get kids to bed) i get some time just for me.

  7. #7

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    Default Re: Are you ever alone?

    Yes, I do thankfully. In the early days of the children, I did not get much at all.
    At least now with the start of term 2 I will get back my one day off a week. I have really noticed the lack of that day on my overall level of happiness. (school days and a heavy work load last year meant I lost my day)
    I do sometimes get to do the supermarket shopping by myself. I also get time in the car. Might not be much between school drop off and work, but it is so nice to have the quiet, no questions, no "I need a tissue, drink bottle etc"

  8. #8

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    Default Re: Are you ever alone?

    Not much but I do enjoy it when I do, Sometimes I'll stay up an hour or two after DH has gone to bed to do whatever. He used to go to Band practise every Wednesday night and I'd enjoy that time (kids in bed). He tends to go to the Footy or have poker night with his mates a couple times a month, I usually grab a packet of mint slices or some other goodies and curl up to watch a chick flick..... bliss!

  9. #9

    Default Re: Are you ever alone?

    I never got time alone until Ashton was in kindergarten. Even then I immersed myself in school committees etc to keep busy. During his kindergarten year I was studying Business Administration. I love alone time, but always seem to find myself doing something somewhere. Andrew may take the boys out (rarely) and leave me home but I am usually stuck with at least one of them which is okay as they just go on the computer or play lego, and in the last year he has done it, it is so I can study.

    I will now have Wednesday afternoons to myself as I finish work at 11am and I don't have to go home to study. I can't wait to cherish them.

  10. #10

    Default Re: Are you ever alone?

    My alone time is the 30 min I have between my alarm going off at 0500 and me making breakfast at 0530. That time is spent having a shower and getting ready for work. Then DH is up and soon after DD2 wakes.

    Does the hour to and from work count? I usually have phone calls from dh, dd1, or work during those times.

  11. #11

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    Default Re: Are you ever alone?

    I get no alone time at all

  12. #12

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    Default Re: Are you ever alone?

    I'm worried that it will actually get worse when I go back to work. I'm never alone there, and even if I do get the office to myself I'm always on the phone. It's a mentally draining job and leaves me wanting alone time just as much as anything else but I won't be able to get it because I need to spend what time I can get out of work worth my family.

    Losing sleep for alone time isn't an option right now. I'm already not getting enough, I can't stay up late when I'm exhausted just to be by myself when I know the baby will wake any minute. Same for getting up early. As for naps, while DH is home I've been sleeping every time DS does.

    I think if DS starts sleeping a bit better even in the early part of the night I'll be right, I can do my own thing for an hour or so and then spend time with DH.

  13. #13

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    Default Re: Are you ever alone?

    No. Actually, maybe an hour 3-5 times a week to exercise, but I exercise at a park with like a million children playing on the outdoor exercise gear, and my own kids are playing nearby (with DH). I cosleep with DD2, and she feeds on and off throughout the night. So not really. Every now and then DH takes the kids out and it. Is. Bliss.

  14. #14

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    Default Re: Are you ever alone?

    I am always alone. I work alone for most of the day and apart from before and after school, I am by myself. It's lonely lol

  15. #15

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    Default Re: Are you ever alone?

    I get two days a week all to myself, and one day with just DS2. Before I had kids I hated being alone for long periods of time. Now I love it. I need it.

  16. #16

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    Default Re: Are you ever alone?

    I'm another that really needs alone time.
    My DH works away, permanently. I haven't seen him for weeks. So I am really really vigilant with bed times so that I do get to do absolutely nothing and be by myself. Other than that. No. The baby still sleeps with me. She's older and more independent than your bub though.
    I try to get away by myself once a year for a couple of days. My girlfriends all offer to make it a girls weekend away, but in truth I don't want that.
    I do have great mates though. Ones who just know when you aren't doing so well and offer to take a kid (or 3) so I can do the groceries.
    There are weeks though when i feel exactly like you. The baby is up half the night so does have a day sleep, but I'm wrecked so i can't physically do anything, then she won't go to bed at night. That usually forms a pattern for a few days and I feel like there's no end in sight.

  17. #17

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    Default Re: Are you ever alone?

    Every second weekend and half school holidays. I hate it.

  18. #18

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    Default Re: Are you ever alone?

    I have to have alone time, or I lose it. These school holidays are testing my limits. I haven't had any time alone because my bigger kids are home, and DH is working like a man possessed. I can't wait for school to go back next week to have my day alone (though DH might be home, but I can tell him to leave me alone without making him cry or tantrum!).

    DS2 goes to day care one day and the bigger kids are at school and that is the day I look forward to every week! Those 6 hours kid free fly so fast! I do also get time alone at night when DH is on night shifts. Kids are usually in bed by 8pm, and I am trying to get into bed by 10 (though I have gotten myself into going to bed at 11.30/12 when the kids were tiny to get time alone and it's proving to be a hard habit to break!) so i get a few hours there too.

    I have always loved my own company. I can spend days alone without getting lonely or bored. When the kids were smaller and BF'ing, it was really hard on me because I would feel touched out, and their noise and talking would grate on my nerves so badly, I would have meltdowns.

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