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Leasha,
What i wanted to say, BG has said beautifully !
I had a very hard time with DS#2. It was such a stressful time that it took me five years to be able to go back and have DS#3.
After all the ups and downs i needed to get my head in the right place.
Give yourself time - maybe its a bit too early to be setting anything in concrete.
Good luck.
xxxoooo
I fluctuate between just DS and more.
There are pros and cons. The biggest factor, for me, is how much help I'll get. DH was pretty crappy with baby DS, but is better with toddler DS and looks like he'll be Dream Daddy with primary-school-age DS. PiL are worse than useless, so we're looking to move, although that's not a promise of more children.
And then there's "me time". DS age 7, I get a WHOLE WEEKEND just for me! I won't get that with a pre-schooler around. Unless pre-schooler goes to Mum's! But I wouldn't want that, not really. I'd want to spend time.
Also, there's the "post birth" stuff. Not only "who the hell is this child, I didn't give birth, you just brought this baby to me a few hours after you took me into a theatre" stuff that isn't ideal to think about doing twice, but also the family stuff and visitors and the like.
Of course, there are days when I just need to have more children. That life isn't going to be complete without having MY child. I know DS is my child but I didn't get that when he was a baby. I need a BABY, to have that part of my life. To give birth. To have a baby of my own. To be a mother. To have more love, because I have more to give.
It's hard. I want more atm, but another time I won't and will be able to say how great it is spending time just DS and being a happy family of 3 and that all his needs are met, not pushed aside because someone else thinks they need me more. My little sister... I really wished her not around as a teenager, she took everything from me. Mum wanted me to be more like her, she was a brat, the only time I needed my parents she went and trumped me need so I had NO support or help... I won't do that to DS. He has to be an only. I can't hurt him the way I was hurt, and I was only hurt because of a sibling that I only liked once I'd stopped living with her for 5 years.
omg i was only just saying this to a friend the other day and i thought i was stupid for feelign how i was. i keep thinkin that if we have another bub that jayda will feel let out because i wont have time fo rthe 1 on 1 and that because DH doesnt do much it will be so much harder.