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I don't really do birthdays ... give the family a call on the Saturday nearest their birthday but that's about it. The kids are unfortunate enough to ALL have birthdays at bad times of the year so they don't really get their own party - Miss 10 has only been home on her birthday 2 or 3 times in her life, Miss 3 is so close to Christmas she winds up with presents at Christmas time, and Mr 1 here is looking like he'll have his birthday rounded to my father's for a while yet.
The inlaws on the other hand seem to have a thing for sending gushy messages on every vaguely important occasion which I find a bit peculiar (I definitely don't do gushy messages) but at least they're predictable. We generally completely forget so the best they get is one extra facebook message on the pile of gushy facebook messages they all attract each birthday. Which I also find odd because noone else I know does that kind of thing :)
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Minimal input for the 60th, I say!
My MiL remembers my birthday, as do my DP's aunt and cousin. It helps that my birthday is two days after DP's father's would have been, but they mark it and remember it AND I get money or gifts! Which is a nice touch, really, because my own aunts don't bother anymore. I don't even care if they remember my birthday, it's when DS's birthday comes and goes that I get miffed. All this extended family that I bothered keeping in touch with all my life and I get forgotten for my troubles.
At least in your case these people are otherwise very nice and involved :) More than I can say for my own rellos - who are even on Facebook now and didn't bother with birthday messages (or any other sort of message or acknowledgment of the family pics I put up).
Go minimal for MiL - after all, you don't want to make her uncomfortable with all the fuss about a birthday she isn't supposed to even care about ;)
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Happy belated Birthday! :D
Anyway, I was wondering just out of curiosity, did DH ask SIL to see how often her bday gets forgotten by any chance? It might seem silly but she did suggest it and maybe if she's forgetting that one too it could be one of those getting older things thats just embarrassing to admit IYKWIM? Whether she intentionally forgot yours or genuinely forgot doesn't matter because she hasn't apologised to you so I think you're well justified in feeling a bit sour about the whole thing - especially since you reminded her the week before! And did FIL also forget? Surely if it was in 'their' diary then he could've reminded her or sent something himself. I know my parents can forget dates individually, but usually they remember them all between the two of them - and Dad has no excuse to ever forget DH's or FIL's because FIL is the day before his, and he and DH are the same day :lol:. DH is terrible with dates but usually someone in the family will ring to remind us because everybody knows he's a shocker! My point is, 'I forgot' for no reason is never really an excuse. 'I forgot because something unexpected happened', or 'I forgot because we ended up really busy that day' can be acceptable but usually they're followed by a belated wishes or gift and an apology for forgetting in the first place.
I'm not big on birthdays either, in fact I get really angry when people try and make a deal out of my birthday - I'm not a child anymore, it really isn't a big deal. If its a milestone birthday - like a 30th - fair enough getting some people together to do something, but otherwise I really just want to be left in peace for the day. That being said, I still give people a call, or wish them birthday wishes anyway on their day because I know they appreciate it and I care about them so I want them to be happy and feel loved - so just not being into birthdays is no excuse, period.
In regards to her birthday shindig I would be definitely objecting to paying exorbitant amounts of money for someone who herself admits birthdays aren't a big deal for her, particularly since she couldn't even acknowledge yours.
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thanks for all the replies and the birthday love :)
SF: the SIL is my DH's brother's wife, and there's not really a close enough relationship to want to delve into it ... I believe my MIL. Positives and negatives aside, she's not one for lying or hedging around the truth, and I believe her :)
Thanks everyone again!
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The greeting works both ways. If she doesn't want to remember other family members and send greetings/cards/present then she should not expect others to fall over themselves to remember hers.
I have my birthday calendar behind the toilet door, cannot miss seeing it. :rofl:
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DH saw MiL yesterday - she reminded him that it was her birthday next week. Good thing too, the way my mind is at the moment! So I've organised a card and we're getting a present on Friday.
If she hadn't reminded us, we may well have forgotten, despite the birthday book. (I really need to get my act together and DH needs the check the book too!) But she did. I think that's the most annoying thing about your tale, peanutter. You reminded them. There is no excuse for forgetting with a reminder.
Going for a calendar next year so I really do have no excuse for forgetting.
