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Not much phases me but this would, especially the toy shop and go to bed example. For me is also quite different disciplining kids in a group situation like mothers group, where it is often necessary for the sake of the whole group of kids (I also think in that situation is kind of nice that you don't have to be monitoring 100 % because you know someone else will pull them up) - those kinds if group situations where there are children of more than one parent present are quite different in my mind. My kids know they might get pulled up on something when in a group that I would let go, but if no other children are around and I am present then most things I think should be dealt with by me, DH etc. They say that kids hear the same instruction 9 times more harshly from anyone but their parent - sometimes that is a good thing but not always. I would say something, because you really dont want it souring the friendship. Maybe you coukd say he is feeling a bit sensitive at the moment and could she let you deal with him while you are about.
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I'm thinking along the same lines as MD. For some reason my children are much more likely to listen to people other than myself so I tend to find it very halpful when friends, family and total strangers help me raise them. But that's me, not you and if it bothers you the best thing for you to do is let your friend know and sort out the boundries rather then letting it fester and grow. When I didn't have children I used to find it quite irritating when people let their children play in the dog water etc. Still do TBH but I also understand that sometimes it's easier to ask the dog to share.
