Exactly sushee :)
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Exactly sushee :)
Completely agree with Rach too. I really strongly recommend some counselling for your previous relationship though because you will be carrying issues that will come into this relationship. You need to build a foundation for your relationship and once a strong foundation is formed you can get through anything TOGETHER. YOU cannot fix anything on your own. Does your bf know about your past abusive relationship, it may help him to understand you a little better. All the very best.
Regards,
Dianne
The older I get, the more I realise that "love" is not enough in a relationship. It is vital to any successful partnership but it's not enough. You need trust, shared values, a common purpose, mutual respect and caring, equality, understanding....all those things. You can have differing opinions about the small stuff, but I think it is vital that you are on the same page about the big stuff.
Coupled with that is the fact that sometimes we mistake dependency and fear of being alone (physically, emotionally, financially), for what we think is love.
Doing the right thing for a week, a month, a year even is easy. A loving partner does the right thing each and every day. From the start. It's a lesson I took years to learn. Maybe I didnt even really learn in until I hit the jackpot and met my DH eight years ago. It was only then that it really, fully clicked that this is what everyone had been talking about. A true, loving partnership. A man who would not ever dream of spending a cent on himself if DD was in need of anything. A man who is home every night because that's where he wants to be. That's the sort of man you want to build a future with. Dont accept anything less for yourself or your child.
I've been through the worst of the worst in a relationship I know the signs of when to leave and when someone says they are going to change but won't if I wanted to leave I would leave I wouldn't put up with it, Ive learnt Alot and not to stand for boys **** but I'm also forgiving and understanding and patient, I see change in his heart and I can work on that as I know what it feels like for people not to give chances or room
For change as I'm not perfect myself.. Ofcourse it is possible he won't and he will slip back and you know what ever it's not anything that could hurt me as much as I've been hurt it takes Alot it would just be a shame
This is so true... Love doesn't cut it... As much as I love my ex, the trust and everything else isn't there - hence why he is an ex.:
Your the only one that can make a decision about your life. So I wish you all the best and hope it works out coxo
Cat xox
I wish you all the best. I hope he does change :)
So as it seems he did fail me but that was his last chance so I broke up with him, it doesn't matter though he will see one day and hopefully doesn't make the same
Mistake twice with the next girl but he won't be making it with me. I'm just glad I'll have a beautiful baby boy from this. It's sad I gave him so much trust but in the end he can't have the honey and the bee and of trust is an issue we aren't meant to be. What is everyone's thoughts on letting him see the baby / shared custody seen as though he thinks baby's only need one bottle a day and they drink out of sippy cups bit worried of leaving bub with him as you would be haha
I suggest you go and see a lawyer and know your rights hun xox take care, I am sorry he turned out to be a douche bag, there are some nice ones out there, look after yoursef and your little boy xo
I'm sorry your relationship turned out this way but you sound as though you are in a good headspace about it.
I think re visitation he has a lot to prove to you that he is responsible. I definitely wouldn't allow it with a newborn. If you are on ok terms I'd let him see the baby at your place for a start.
N2l I couldn't agree more, love is not enough, I to like you took a long time to realize and it wasn't until I met my dh that I to found out what everyone meant.
It is not hard when you ah e the right person in you life, everyday is enjoyable even the ones that aren't perfect. They understand what you need and you don't fight in screaming matches, ours are more a difference of opinion in something and are rare.
Doochydoo
I can also add though having been in really bad relationships before it takes a lot of courage to leave but once you do you learn what life is like without the problems from that relationship. Bad relationships can destroy you as a person more than you realize and you want to be the best version of yourself for your baby. I am glad to hear you have moved on from him.
Good luck hun an hope you have a healthy rest of your pregnancy.
I would also suggest you seek some legal advice, sorry things didn't work out with your bf.
Regards,
Dianne
there is a place called relationships australia. they offer free counselling. i had to use them with an issue i had a few years ago. not only were they free but they were excellent and really helped me.
:
What they said: completely agree!!:
Well said Rach, I actually agree with you. I don't think relationships should be tough either. Yes they require work, and communication, but no the relationship shouldn't be tough.
Yeah well he was upset and just wants to be with the mother of his child but he won't change other aspects so it just couldn't work, we are on good terms I'll miss having company and I hope that I don't get weak and miss him to the point where he comes back because I know it won't work
:hug:
Good on you for recognising that things won't work now.
If he really did want to be with you he'd be willing to make the necessary changes. Maybe suggest to him that he gets some counselling to help him find out what he really wants?
Nothing is stopping you both from being equally involved with the baby, you just don't have to be a couple. One of my SIL is better off being friends with her eldest DDs father than being in a relationship, and well her DD is better off because two happy parents equals an even happier child. If you live close by, even when the baby is a newbie theres nothing saying you can't share a house together and parent together. Maybe look into something like that.:
Massive hugs :hug:
Relationships Australia isn't free - well not in Qld it isn't...:
Cat xox