Defence Force Families

Thanks ladies, Marydean, my boys go to daycare twice a week one of which they go together so i have a day to myself to do me things, but i am thinking of adding an extra day for DS1 as at the moment he goes mon tues and i think its a bit long between when he gpes again that he is starting to not want to go.
Ali it was jessica, i think she may be our case worker for DS1 special needs i cant remember, i will definately be calling them back though, my friends are great but i so need some contact with other people in the same situation, i did attend a relationships briefing just after DH left but noone else showed up, they did say they would be holding it every third wednesday but i didnt hear anything so i havent been back. Oh well i will just keep trucking along :)

I LOVE Nap times :)

hi there girls.
another RAAF wife here!

Alioops - check out the various loans available to service men for your new bedding etc... there's a thing called a chaplain's loann (used to be called anyway) and for $80 they'll give you up to $3200 (i think!) interest free... the repaymnts automatically come out of DH's pay every fortnight.

We used that loan to set up house when we first moved into together as well as for our new $2000 mattress... it just needs to be spent on home stuff that's all and you can take the loan as many times as you like so long as you only have one loan at a time.

As for housing, as what most girls said here - it's hit and miss. But we have found storage to be a BIG issue and a strange obsession by DHA with clover. but they have lifted the standards again and what you should expect is on the DHA website.

i'm born in cairns region and spent many years living in tvle as an adult. Cairns people hate tvle cos "it's really brownsville and too dry and everyone there are bogans. plus everyone KNOWS cairns is the capital of north qld and tvle tries to steal our tourists and our thunder''.
For Tvle people "cairns people think they are all that and they ssoooo stole our Strand idea. they don't even have a proper beach and what's with the mudflats?''

it's like any rivalarly between states/towns/clubs - is based on crazy stuff! lol.

back on topic - Tvle is a great city for its residents & very family friendly. if you have kids, like warm weather and the feel of country towns then you'll probably like tvle. I really enjoyed living there and it's come a LONG way from its Brownsville reputation as a bit backward! IF you are in a DHA place in tvle the chances are you'll be near other defence families... this is usually good. I remember one xmas packing the esky and DH and i went for a neighbourhood walk from Defence home to defence home eventally getting back to our home a litle worse for wear about 4am! heehee. Plus they'll feed your animals when you are away!

have also heard good thngs about darwin and brissy.

We are at Willliamtown now and it's very very different. not social at all and has been very hard to make friends.

defence spouses need to realise that they aren't going to get what they want. so long as you fully accept to live whereever you are told, are pretty postivie and can see the best in situations you'll be fine. I know some other partners who fight it the whole way from posting location, to housing, to posting times etc and they get really frustrated. Personally i just go with the flow, don't really mind where we end up cos i know we'll leave again in a while and have learnt to be self-sufficient. we see it as our way of travelling Oz, just going to take us 20 yrs lol

one other thing, I personally have found SOME (by no means all) partners are extremely cliquey and b**tchy. I've heard it's worse in the army. things like an officer's wife won't talk to an enlisted member's wife and crap like that. Just be ware of it that's all. I didn't come across it until last year (been with DH for 7 yrs) but it was pretty awful up til then every other partner just rocked.

when you get posted and arrive at your destination make sure DCO (the group that supposed to support families) provides you with a welcome pack etc. They are underfunded but do have some good resources IF you know they are there (i only found out bout them 18mths after we got here).

at the end of the day it's what you make of it. good luck and have fun!

ps sory if typing i s rbbish, keyboard playig up..bbbrrhhh

Hi everyone!

I just came across this thread. My DH is in the army has been for 10 years last Jan and we have been together 9 of those years. He is in Artillery. We have been very lucky to have stayed in Sydney (I've never lived anywhere else) all that time. DH was in the one unit for 8 years and only got posted out cause he was non deployable and couldn't jump (he got leukaemia) so he went to Recruiting and spent 2 years there, got back up to med class one and now is at a reserve unit. Which he hates. He is about to take his long service leave so is going to stay home with DD when I go back to work. I also work for Defence. I manage the ADF Transition centre in the city. So I help ppl discharge (mostly work with Navy being in the city, close to Fleet base east). I have been on mat lve tho. I go back in 5 weeks.

We have been lucky that a lot of our friends have stayed here in Sydney to. Though my best friend's husband is core transferring so will prob move. I'm not looking forward to that!! We have 2 and a half years left of this posting and then who knows!!!! I don't think we will be able to stay in Syd any longer. There won't be any full time artillery unit left here by then either (well that's what they say) I'm hoping for Adelaide or Brisbane.

hi grub17 and ezymay!!

Grub17, I have been told about these cliquey wives but havent come across any myself, i have alot more 'civvie' friends though as when we lived in Tsv a few yrs back DH was deployed and i got a job and never met any of his work mates partners etc, we werent even defcto so i got no help wat so ever...and when we left for perth for 2 yrs it was great but couldnt wait to get back here, guess the lifestyle just rubbed off on us..we arent bogans though haha!!
It is great to get other peoples views on the place..some HATE it but others never want to leave :o/
Anyway lovely chatting best get the kidlets off to bed now

Hi Ladies!

Looks like DH might be wanting to head down this path again...

He was in the army for 10 years, he has been out for a few years.
Now he has had the urge for the past year to join the airforce, mainly for stability.

So, what is it like being a 'family' in the forces? Now that we have the little ones to worry about?

We are thinking he will get posted north, maybe Darwin or Townsville...hmm?! I am a bit unsure of this idea.

Don't really know at this stage what I want to achieve from this post, just thought I would start with a :hello:.

hi daintree dream,

i just assumed from your name you were from cairns or the daintree?? but tvle as posting is very popular because it is a great place to live for the family.

it depends what area of the raaf DH will be going in - but for me i've always found the raaf very good. and my sil had a bf in the army - my impression was the airforce was 1000s times better in terms of stability and family. Mainly because they aren't getting deployed as much and have a completely differnt culture.

postings are about 3-4 years per location.

I can't speak about darwin but we may be heading there in 2011 and i'm hearing some very good things.

;) not sure if that helps and it's only from my limited point of view.

I'm from Melbourne, we are hoping one day to move to Cairns, or somewhere up there maybe the tablelands...

I am not really keen on Darwin, I think maybe because it just seems so far away but I have heard some really good things, well I have actually only heard good things so far, except for some of the housing, but I am not sure if that has improved?

I think if DH goes ahead with it all my prefernce would be Townsville, but lets just wait and see what plans they have, it not up to me!

DH is looking at airforce over army as now we have a family he is not so interested in being deployed, he has been there, done that and now wants to avoid it if at all possible.

We have been talking about it all alot over the last couple of weeks and the paperwork is filled out for the transfer, just have to make that final decision that this is what we feel is best for our family and that it is what we want to do.

I am not 100% convinced just yet though.

DD, what job is your DH looking to do in either army/airforce...there are some musterings in the RAAF that deploy, regularly.

Darwin is a fantastic place to live, if you don't mind the heat. The housing is just as hit&miss as it is anywhere else (have seen far smaller houses in worse condition in other places, some of the Darwin housing is gorgeous)! But the DHA there does not have a good reputation when maintenance issues arise - you can always get around that by contacting the DHA head office. These days you get remote locality travel & I think there is an extra allowance too. The RAAF tends to be more stable in terms of longer postings (lots of Army folk move year after year whereas you can expect a decent run of 3+ years in the RAAF) but there will be times, even without deployments when your DH will either be away (working on attachment, training or on exercise) and it's not always in your control when or for how long that is.

He is looking at maybe supply or communications tech.

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...but there will be times, even without deployments when your DH will either be away (working on attachment, training or on exercise) and it's not always in your control when or for how long that is.

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I realise that there will be times that DH will be away and that deployment is a possibility no matter what area he works in, this is what we are currently discussing and deciding upon. I am not sure that this is something I want with a young family that is still growing.
My head really hasn't stopped ticking, there are cons and pros, just have to decide which one outweighs the other for us IYKWIM.

On the plus side, it's potentially a really quick way to get to that tropical lifestyle you want :)! It's also fantastic when it comes to job security, which isn't to be huffed at these days. Re deployments, DH reckons they try to send the ppl who put their hand up for it and not the ones who don't.

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... Re deployments, DH reckons they try to send the ppl who put their hand up for it and not the ones who don't.

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Thats what my DH says as well. His brother has been trying to get deployed for years (he is in the airforce also) and they won't send him, apparently there are plenty of people willing, so I suppose thats on our side.

And yes, it will get us up to the tropics quicker, but knowing our luck we will end up in Adelaide :lol: I love Adelaide, DH is not a fan at all.

I think this would be rally good thing for you too do Dee, but tell him to go Navy that way you could get Cairns... plus the thing I liked about the Navy is that they have to post you near water so you are never in the middle of nowhere unlike the Army and RAAF...

Just want to say that my heart and thoughts go out to yet another digger lost his life yesterday...

Yeah Tali I am trying to look past the cons and see it as a new adventure in our lives, the stability would be great to as DH lost his job last month, there is nothing out there and with DD needing constant care and another on the way, it just makes things a bit hard at the moment as it isn't as if I can go back to work. DH has been trying to convince me for a while to let him go into the airforce but I haven't really seen the need until now.

Just a hard decision for me at the moment.

My thoughts are also with the family of the digger who lost his life, such sad news.

ETA: Ohh and DH is not so keen on the Navy, he says the only Pro is that you can go to Cairns!

ummm lets see more pro's for the Navy, training is only about 25 mins from where you are now... their most remote place of posting is Darwin... lol even though you dont want that, but they do have to go to sea and are away more oftern than not, so maybe with matilda not the best... but see as she does need constant care I would think they would only post you to Sydney/Melbourne anyway...

please dont take this the wrong way as I have no idea but would the forses let him re-join with a high dependent child? I think they will grill you both to make sure this would be the right thing for you both... you have a lot of soul serching to do... If he does join up I hope it all works out for you, You will find your feet where ever you are, make the most of each place you end up, see it for what it a big life changing adverture, your only young once...

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...please dont take this the wrong way as I have no idea but would the forses let him re-join with a high dependent child?...

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No offence taken :D. We are hoping that within 6-12 months she will no longer be classified as a special needs child. At this stage everything that classifies her as high dependant or special needs is fixable and we are working really hard to correct it before she has more obstacles to cross. We have no idea what intellectual disabilities she may have as she gets older but she seems to be going really well in these areas so I think that she is going to be lucky and it is not going to have to much of an effect on her. So based on that I do not think it will be a problem.

It is a big decision and to be honest I do not feel like we get much support down here (we are not near family as it is) so I do not feel like I will be missing out in that area. It is just a big life change from where we are at right now, we are both really independent people and love to travel so that side of things is a big upside, plus I said I wanted to be away from here by the time Matilda was 12 months, she is 14 months so I am feeling really ready to start a new journey, just now we have to wait for the next baby to arrive!

I'm sorry to blab all of this at you ladies, I was hoping you might understand some of my thoughts and reservations and possibly offer some advise but I know that in the long run it is up to me.

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I'm from Melbourne, we are hoping one day to move to Cairns, or somewhere up there maybe the tablelands...

I am not really keen on Darwin, I think maybe because it just seems so far away but I have heard some really good things, well I have actually only heard good things so far, except for some of the housing, but I am not sure if that has improved?
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hi everyone

I dont pop in nearly enough - but do read :)

DD - when we were in Darwin - we had THE MOST visitors EVER for some reason - it seemed like every month friends or family decided to come up - they never knew anyone who lived there before so had never thought of it as a holiday destination IYKWIM??? So yes, it is a long way away (I come from Melb area originally) - and it is remote, but we didn't find it all that bad ;).

We have just clocked up 6 years in Canberra, and I think I am about done - which sounds so dumb as things have been settled - I dunno, just a tired womans ramblings LOL We had no idea we would be here so long, ready for a new adventure for some silly reason .....

DD, it might be worth having a look at the Defence Special Needs Support Group's website and maybe chat to some of the reps from the Group to get an idea of what extra planning/challenges you might face from their perspective.

Hi :) I just came across this thread and what a great idea! I have been a 'Navy wife' for about 18 months. I met DH in Cairns (I was on holidays there), but unfortunately it was the end of his posting and we moved to Canberra together where he went to the Defence College for a year. We then moved to Sydney for 2 years - but I spent the first 18 months hating it :wall: Now DH's posting has finished and we are moving back to Canberra. I think from now on most of his jobs will be in Canberra and Sydney, so I guess that is a good thing.

We are just waiting for our lease to end (RA house) so DH just comes home on the weekends which is difficult to get used to. Oh well, only 8 more weeks. I like Canberra (was born there) but I find it a very difficult place to meet people. Even when I was living down there, people who had been there for 10 - 15 years said the same thing.. Oh well, we'll see how it goes.