There?s a poem about listening by an unknown author. This little poem expresses several thoughts about what people want from their partners, friends, and children.


When I ask you to listen to me
And you start giving me advice
You have not done what I asked.

When I ask you to listen to me
And you begin to tell me why
I shouldn?t feel that way
You are trampling on my feelings.

When I ask you to listen to me
and you think you have to do something
to solve my problem
you have failed me,
strange as that may seem.

Listen! All I asked was that you listen,
not talk or do?just hear me.
advice is cheap; twenty five cents will get
you both Dear Abby and Billy Graham
in the same newspaper.

And I can do for myself. I am not helpless.
Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.

When you do something for me
that I can do for myself
you contribute to my fear
and inadequacy.

But when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel,
no matter how irrational,
then I can quit trying to convince you and can get about this business
of understanding what?s behind this irrational feeling.

And when that?s clear, the answers are obvious and I don?t need advice.
Irrational feelings make sense when we understand what?s behind them.

Perhaps that?s why prayer works sometimes, for some people?because
god is mute, and doesn?t give advice or try to fix things.
He (or She) just listens and let?s you work it out yourself.

So please listen and just hear me
and if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn
? and I?ll listen to you.*

*Writings from Dr. Thomas Gordon
Sent by: Christine Pagtalunan of Gordon Training International

If you liked this, you will LOVE the PET (parent effectiveness training) course and book by Dr Thomas Gordon. I have done the course, it was worth its weight in gold - am such a better mummy.