Results 1 to 18 of 18

Thread: How did you decide how many children you were going to have?

  1. #1

    Default How did you decide how many children you were going to have?

    It took us years of heartbreak and miscarriages before falling pregnant with our now 3yo daughter. Our son came along 18 months later. They are two happy and healthy toddlers. We are VERY lucky.

    We always said we would be so grateful to have one child so, with two, we feel overwhelmed with happiness.

    Now we are feeling strongly about having a third child. I've had two emergency c sections and the dr recommended 3 maximum. I haven't researched dangers and risks yet. The dr also said he strongly recommends booking in for a c section of we have our third.

    I am 40 next year so if we decide to have another baby then we want to start trying soon.

    How did you decide to have another child or not? What were the factors?

  2. #2

    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    3,750

    Default Re: How did you decide how many children you were going to have?

    I always wanted 4 children with the option of 5 or 6. Maybe because my parents had 4. 4 seemed the ideal number. 2 for me wasn't enough and 3 was the uneven number. Stupid I know. I thought I'd have 4 and then re-evaluate having any more.

    I was lucky the first 2 were easy to conceive. Number 3 and 4 were harder taking almost 3years each to conceive and 5 pregnancy losses along the way. After number 3 we accepted how blessed we were and although we wanted another didn't put any pressure on ourselves most of the time and just hoped it happened. I am now 27weeks with number 4.

    Factors that made me not want to give up were the fear of regret. You would be unlikely to regret having another child but you certainly would regret it down the track if you didn't give it a go. I accepted if it didn't happen that would be one thing but for it not to happen because we didn't try I knew I would live to regret it. I also felt our family was not complete and like someone was missing.

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    South Coast NSW
    Posts
    1,260

    Default Re: How did you decide how many children you were going to have?

    I always wanted 4. As long as you feel like you are happy to try again, go for it. I was prepared to not have anymore after ttc for months almost gave up. And surprise! Now 15.5 weeks pregnant with my 6th

  4. #4

    Default Re: How did you decide how many children you were going to have?

    Similar to Mildez I wanted 3 children and I think that is because my Mum had 3 children. After our 2nd was born and with the way his birth went I was done. There was no way I was having anymore. Our 3rd child was born 2.5 years later.

  5. #5

    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    In my Zombie proof fortress.
    Posts
    6,449

    Default Re: How did you decide how many children you were going to have?

    We had agreed if we have one, then we may as well have two. After having DD1, I did feel strongly that I wanted another (despite her not being the easiest bub). Whilst pregnant with DD2, I was feeling pretty done and after having her I felt very done. We did have the odd occasion where we discussed more, but both of us agree we were done.

    I had 2 emergency c-sections and a lot of difficulty breastfeeding each time. I don't want to go through that again, but saying that if I really felt the strong desire for another that would not matter.

  6. #6

    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    NSW Central Coast
    Posts
    5,301

    Default Re: How did you decide how many children you were going to have?

    I always wanted at least 3, but 4 seemed a great number. DH only wanted 2, so we compromised at 3. I desperately still wanted #4 up until probably 6-12 months ago. I still have a little urge there inside me, but life is just so easy now, compared to having babies and toddlers. Plus DH still doens't want more children, mostly for practical reasons- we'd need a new car, we have no more of our baby stuff....

    My last bub is now 3, almost 4. He's sleeping in his own bed, by himself all night until a decent hour in the morning (no more 4 am starts after being awake with him 3 or more times a night)!!! He is much more self sufficient, no more nappies or bum wiping, he dresses himself, feeds himself (most days!) My bigger kids can get their own simple breakfasts, and even make their own lunches. DD (who is 7 1/2) even made tacos for dinner last night (under close daddy supervision of course!)! I just don't know if I could go through the sleeplessness, and the helplessness of a baby and toddler again. I don't know if I could do pregnancy again. I've had AND/PND pretty badly with all pregnancies/babies and I just don't know if I could do that to myself and my family again.

    Plus, my SIL had #3 and 4 in a very short period recently, and is near to 40. She has a 12 year and 9 year gap between #3 and #1 and 2. Watching her struggle with the babies and getting things done for the bigger kids, like school pick ups, dropping off for sports ect, while the babies are asleep...she seems so exhausted. It just shows me I don't really think I want that.

    If you had have asked me a year ago, the answer would be I still want another, but DH doesn't. Now, I erring much more on the side of not having more kids. Life is good right now.

  7. #7

    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    baldivis
    Posts
    964

    Default Re: How did you decide how many children you were going to have?

    My dh always wanted 3 and I wanted 4. He was happy to ttc #4 when it come up a few months after ds3 was born.
    I had my children all with a small age gap inbetween as I didn't have the option of waiting, was told to have the amount of kids we wanted now. (issues I need correcting result in unable to have more children)
    All my children were born via c section, first was an emergency and a few months down the track we found out I couldn't deliver naturally. So planned c sections for the next 3.
    No complications arose during pregnancies, and recovered very quickly too.

  8. #8

    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    Rural NSW near ACT
    Posts
    413

    Default Re: How did you decide how many children you were going to have?

    I feel like I'll never have enough children.
    Our first died at full term after 8 yrs of TTC
    Our second is a beautiful 3yo boy.
    I would have more if we could.

  9. #9

    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Gold Coast
    Posts
    1,153

    Default Re: How did you decide how many children you were going to have?

    Aww, Kateo

    I always feel selfish when it I read stories like yours.

    I knew I didn't want another when my DS was about 18 months.
    I don't enjoy toddlers, and now that my DS is almost six and our lives are getting easier by the day, I don't regret our decision for a second.
    I don't think our relationship (or my mental health) would have survived another child.

  10. #10

    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    melbourne
    Posts
    106

    Default Re: How did you decide how many children you were going to have?

    We always thought we would have 2 or 4 children. We had 2 and were pretty happy with that and then fell pregnant again and were happy with that. We have a 4 year old, a 2 year old and a 6mth old.... I think I'm done and then I think maybe one more. But DP is content with 3 and I think I am too tired to go through it all again. I have had three c/sections, all uncomplicated with quick recoveries.

  11. #11

    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Chickens.
    Posts
    4,989

    Default Re: How did you decide how many children you were going to have?

    I always wanted five. I'm one of four.

    I have two biological children and three stepchildren.

    DP wants three more. Age is against me but I would love just one more

  12. #12

    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Sunny Qld
    Posts
    14,683

    Default Re: How did you decide how many children you were going to have?

    At first I didn't want any children then I met dh and agreed that maybe we would have 2, so got them out pretty quickly, then I had a failed vbac with dd1 so wanted to try again so got pregnant with dd2, then something felt like it was missing so got pregnant again and had dd3. Then I was done - I had 4 in 4 years so was constantly exhausted.

    Then I accidentally fell pregnant when dd3 was nearly 2 and had ds2.

    I am so freaking done its not funny lol

  13. #13

    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    SE Melbourne
    Posts
    326

    Default Re: How did you decide how many children you were going to have?

    When DH and I married, I told him that I wanted 3 children, he agreed. Little did I know it would take a while to get DD#1, then DD#2 took a while as well, both of them were twin PGs, and I lost their twin both times, it was very traumatic. DH questioned me many times if I still wanted #3, and I was determined, nothing was going to stop me, it took over 8 years and many miscarriages before I finally got DD#3, and then DH said that was it, no more! I would love to have more, I could quite easily have 10 children, but its just not going to happen! I love my 3 girls, even with the huge 9 year age gap!

  14. #14

    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Winter is coming
    Posts
    5,000

    Default Re: How did you decide how many children you were going to have?

    I planned on having 2. All was going well until DS turned into a hell toddler (sensory/anxiety issues = many, many tantrums). If I wasn't already pregnant with the second I wouldn't have gone again, or at least would have had a much bigger gap. Then DD2 came along as a surprise so I had three, but she fit right in like she was always there.

    After DD1 was born we tossed around the idea of a third and settled with probably not. After DD2 was born there was never even a question of going again lol.

  15. #15

    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Albs, WA
    Posts
    971

    Default Re: How did you decide how many children you were going to have?

    nature decided for us.
    2 on earth, 4 in heaven, and one baking away. This is it for me, Im exhausted and cant wait for the next 200 odd days to be over, and DH is getting the snip.

  16. #16

    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Hork-Bajir Valley
    Posts
    5,722

    Default Re: How did you decide how many children you were going to have?

    I always wanted 5 or 6. Still do but unfortunately circumstances mean that will never happen. We will have 2 (1 current, 1 baking), and will try our last frostie in a few years, if it works fantastic, if it doesnt i will admidt defwat, altho it will be heartbreaking and ill always want more children than i have. ...i do have 6 stepkids tho (altho they are all grown up)

  17. #17

    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Bonbeach, Melbourne
    Posts
    7,177

    Default Re: How did you decide how many children you were going to have?

    I wanted 2, a boy and a girl. Then I had DD1, and was hooked on pregnancy and birth lol!!! Even in the initial weeks after DD2 was born, I wanted 4+. DD2 wasn't planned, and I've found the age gap very challenging, especially because DD1 ended up being a very high needs child. Now I love the idea of 3. We'll wait until DD2 starts school to start trying, so that it will be just myself and #3 at home most of the time. I think I'm a fairly good parent, but I'm only just getting by now with two, a third right now would destroy me haha.

  18. #18

    Default Re: How did you decide how many children you were going to have?

    I was never sure if I want kids at all but when I met my husband we started to like the idea of a child. So one child is the maximum for us and we are happy with our child!


Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •