How many children is the right amount for you?

I've had the same thoughts as you Deb. We have always planned on having 2, but when I had 2 m/c, all I wanted was one healthy baby!

Since we've had Jacob, next time I would definitely like a girl and I find myself wondering if we have a 2nd boy, if I would want to try for #3.....

hi girls

just thought i would share something i heard on the radio the other day dunno how true but they were talking about numbers of children and the lady being interviewed said that apparently 3 children is the new "black", hmm i thought this was interesting as alot of people i know either have or want 3 children these days.

I geuss with 3 children you can still have a normal car.

I used to want 4 children but realisticly we can only afford to have 2 at the moment. If we had any more we couldn't afford to give them the kind of childhood that I would like my kids to have. Maybe in a few years time we'll have more money so more children will be an option but by then we may feel too old.

That is interesting, Michelle. I guess having 3 is like having as many as you can but still being able to "fit them in the car" as dachlostar said. Still... when you buy family deals, they usually incorporate 2 adults and 2 kids....

My Mum always wanted 4 kids. She didn't want an only child (for obvious reasons), 2 was not enough (and she was 1 of 2 and she hated it), with 3 there's always one left out, with 4....???, 5 - too many! That was her rationale n e way.
For me... being one of 4 was too many, LOL.

I think that's good more people are having 3!

I also think that if you think that 4 will mean 1 won't be left out then that's wrong, cos 3 will gang up ahainst 1 as quickly as 2 do.LOL I wanted 4 just cos, not sure really why. WOuld have almost stopped at 3 for the car thing but.....managed to convince Arron we needed one more cute widdle one!LOL If we were rich I could almost convince him we needed 1 more as well, but we're not and I do have to go back to work one of these dayslol

Cheers Mcihelle

It's a pity, isn't it, Michelle - that those that would like more babies can't have them because of finances. The Gov't wants us to populate this country yet it's not always financially possible. Hardly seems fair!

Yep it is Deb and the prob with the lump sum of money is that it convinces the worng people to have kids, not that I didn't love getting it but I wonder about some areas of the community wanting kids for the wrong reason.

I am keen on having at least 2 kiddies... but my trouble atm is with convincing DP. He seems to be stuck on that fact that he never even planned/wanted the first, so why on earth should we have another?
So I keep pointing out to him what a fantastic Daddy he is, and how much Aidyn has enriched his life... and its true, he ADORES Aidyn, and is a natural at being a great Dad.... And now that we have already gone down the road of having a child, is it going to be so much more trouble to have a second?
I desperately don't want Aidyn to be an only child... I grew up with 4 sisters, so was never ever bored or lonely during my childhood, and definately dont want Aidyn to be bored, lonley or spoilt either....

That's right, Michelle. Also, I find with a lump sum, I am more likely to spend it on once-off things wheras if I was paid more every fortnight, it would help out with the everday things? The $3000 was great and we were able to pay off some debts but we still need more for the day to day stuff.
If they can't pay us more, how about making everything cost less?? It would be nice to be able to afford all the groceries and pay the bills. It's not like we live the high life!!

Ambah - here's hoping your DP comes around to the idea of having more than 1. Tell him that, generally, 2nd babies are pretty cruisey ;)

Two babies is enough for me right now, but I am starting to think that having a third wouldn't be so bad. But I won't think about TTC until Grace is 2 because I feel like another baby right now would be too much. Plus I would love to buy a house before we have another baby and pay off some debts...Oh, to be rich and never have to worry about money...!

Bon

LOL Bon wouldn't that be great.

Deb the easy solution is take away the gst, we don't remember it but things were 10%cheaper once.LOL Of course that won't happen cos the govt are raking in big profits.

Ambah, hope you can change DP's mind, But don't stress too much, there's plenty of time, Josh and Jemma are 3 and a half yrs apart and that was very nice. Although having 2 together would have it all done. I think I sort of understand how he feels but I also know how you feel. It's hard! You are right though, you have all the major things you need, but it is easier to not have 2 in nappies at the same time. Hope it works out for you.
Cheers Midhelle

DH told me over the weekend that he would like 4 kids now.

I was thinking #3 but after having Alexander my mind did start thinking 4 as well but never thought DH would want more as he only ever kept saying 2 once we where having Alexander. But i guess men are allowed to change their minds as well.

Ever since I had my first child I thought that four would be a good number, but now that I've been through my third pregnancy I realise that I don't think I can do this again. It has taken so much out of me, and I've needed the family to pick up so much slack to support me, that I don't think I can put us all through it a fourth time.

I didn't anticipate having to spend the last month of this pregnancy on almost total bedrest, which has really strained the household - I'm really thankful that my girls are old enough to be real helpers, and not toddlers needing looking after, because I just plain couldn't cope.

So Three it is!

Kerrie

I can totally understand that Kerrie, esp as the older you get the harder it is on your body.

Michelle- speaking from experience 4 is nice but there is always work to do LOL. I never have an empty washbasket for less than half a day, and then there are 2 loads straight off without towels. I guess sometimes you need to cross the bridge when you come to it, cos it may not fit financially either. I hope everybody gets what they want though LOL

Good luck Shannon with the persuasion, I found pointing out all the gorgeous things Jemma did helped sway Arron LOL. I guess maybe Corey could be worried too as there is so much ahead for Jessalyn, not that you need to rush into it straight away. IKWYM about wanting to have a son though. I was lucky to get my boy 2nd cos I really think we would be ttc no. 5 if I had 4 girls. Not just cos Arron wopuld want a son but I would too, I would love to go again if I knew I'd get a 2nd boy but...won't risk it.LOL

Cheers Michelle

It's such a hard decision for me and I dont know why!

DH says instantly NO!- but I cant for some reason say NO- I just cant! But if you say to me r u definate you want another I cant say YES either-weird I know, but it's strange- hey if you're confussed , imagine how I am? #-o

I would have loved to have said 3 but with things the way they are I will be over the moon if we can manage to have 2!!!

DH & I had both agreed that 3 would be nice, then life kicked in. It took us 3yrs to conceive James ~ then he scared us by coming 8wks early due to PROM & no real reason for why it happened, skip forward 12mths, decide we would like to try for number 2 ~ 2 months later pregnant. Unfortunately we only made it to 18w5d with this pregnancy & our little boy had no chance of making it. After losing him in March 2004 it took us/ me until December 2004 to feel ready to jump back into TTC. Fast forward to today & still no signs of being pg ~ so starting to think maybe #2 will never happen.

Therefore will be over the moon if we ever manage to make it to number two. It is one of those things that make me jealous of women who seem to fall so easily & have relatively problem free pg's.

I haven't even had one yet ... but I'd really love 4 (possibly more 8-[ ). I grew up as one of 4 daughters, and being part of a our family is so much fun and there's so much humour and love shared between us. I'd love for my (future) kids to have those same feelings.

But I reserve the right to change my mind after my first lol :smt081

Kirsty
things really aren't in our control are they, we all should be grateful for the children we have and we sometimes just take it for granted that we are the ones making the decision on how many children we get. I do hope things happen for you guys really soon and who knows you still may end up with 3, but at least you know how important each child is, it makes us all hug the ones we have just a little tighter.

Cheers MIchelle

Thanx heaps Michelle.

As I said we will be very grateful if we manage to have number two & have already discussed it between the two of us & our GP & OB, & have decided that if we do get lucky & have number two then that is where we are calling it quits. We aren't going to challenge our luck any more than it needs to be. Plus I am getting older (as is DH) & we are thinking a bit of the future as well.

Am also starting to get used to the idea that one may be it for us. Takes a bit of getting my head around, but that isn't decided for certain yet so we'll wait & see.

If finances werent an issue, I would be contributing to world over population lol ( permitted my body allowed it )

Heres my issue & reason for wanting 2.

Grandparents have (in birth order)

Boy Girl Boy

Parents have

Boy Girl Boy

I have

Boy

Now each of the 3rd child in the first two families is a **** so i figure I will have 2 and not have the naughty child ;) Its my theory & im sticking to it! lol

LOL Colleen love the theory hope it works and your 3rd child didn't skip the line and become the 1st child LOL

DOesn't work in our family, cos My brother was the **** and he was the 2nd and so is my son and he too is the 2nd, but DH is actually a 1st child and he is a toatl **** too.

Cheers Michelle

Only just saw this!

I would love to have 4+ DF says have 3 then see how we go which is fair enough, i might now want anymore after that. I really want a 2nd at least though because both DF and I are only childs and I want Lily to have a sibling because i know all too well how boring life can get when you dont have a brother or sister. Which also means Lily won't have any cousins either so that's another reason why we want more than one. Also I would love to adopt a child after we're finished having kids too!

I think that how many children to have is one of those decisions that you can't make in advance. Every child is so different and brings so many changes into our lives that it seems foolish to try and plan for the unpredictable.

I voted 1, previously it would have been 3 or 4 but 1 would be great :)

I think 2 will be enough for me - given our age and situation in life I don't think we will have any more after this one. I don't know if this would be any different if I was younger or not so I won't speculate. I am happy with where I am and what I have so it's all good :D

I always dreamed 4......Dh says 6....#3 is on the way now..and depending on the gender there maybe be a 4th..or this might be the last (if its a boy)!

Heaps of people i know are stopping at 2, not sure if it's financial, cultural, social or what. but I want at least 3 and at this stage wold be happy to return for a 4th. (really wanting #2 to happen in the next 12 months) My only worry is people seem to wow at 4 these days, like it'[s something really strange.

well need to work on hubby for the 3rd let alone the 4th :lol: