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Thread: In law troubles

  1. #1

    Default In law troubles

    Okay so I'm fairly reasonable person , my whole family has gone and got the whooping cough vaccination I didn't even have to ask but my husband side don't want to because I have pet rats and they say they won't unless I get rid of my pets. Know I now most people are gonna go Eww pet rats really but my girls are close to passing on their old and are no risk to my baby . I did all the research as soon as I found out .

    My problem is that my mother in law is emontional blackmailing me to get what she wants and I won't back down cause I'm not in the wrong , I understand were she's comming from but my girls will likely only last another two months.its more she's travels around the world which means she can accidentally infect the baby when his here.

    I dunno sorry if this make no sense feeling very emotional and ****t off that she's think this is okay

  2. #2

    Join Date
    Jun 2010
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    Default Re: In law troubles

    I don't really see what the rats have to do with it at all. Rats live in a cage. Your baby will be getting cuddles with you and your husband, or sleeping. The rats have nothing to do with baby. Your inlaws, however, will be wanting to hold, kiss, generally be near your baby, and so if they're sick they can pass it on. Makes sense to make sure that can't happen!

    So the argument of "I won't get the whooping cough vaccination because you have rats" is just the silliest thing, even if your rats were young and had a longer life expectancy. I'd just tell them "The rats have nothing to do with this and they're not going anywhere. If you want to see baby get the vaccination. If you don't, then don't. Two simple options and the ball's in your court".

  3. #3

    Default Re: In law troubles

    Oh I love this but my husband would never enforce this. This is the first grandbaby and she's a very stubborn lady from a different culture and see things different.
    He won't do anything to damage their relationship which in mean I have to suke it up. I have tried to do it the way you have suggested , I did so last night I proved logic and research to her but she still won't budge. Its nice to know I'm not being hormal at least. Thank you

  4. #4

    Join Date
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    Default Re: In law troubles

    It is definitely something your husband needs to be on board with, and probably it comes down to him needing to be the one to enforce it as it's his family. So if you know for sure you won't win with them, focus on him and get him to see your side. With whooping cough especially, it is a nasty, nasty disease that is fatal to babies. Show him some videos of babies with whooping cough to explain why it means so much to you. They can say they won't go near baby if they're sick but they can be carrying it with no symptoms so they won't know. This is one issue where I'm happy to offend family members, no matter their culture.

  5. #5

    Default Re: In law troubles

    I agree I'll chat with him hopefully he will come around . bubs due any day now so I've started this a tad late but I'm trying to fix it now

  6. #6

    Default Re: In law troubles

    Whooping cough can kill the baby, pretty sure a caged rat won't!

    Really it's none of their business what you choose as pets. Your choices for your baby's health aren't negotiable. Big hugs

  7. #7

    Default Re: In law troubles

    Thank you its a lost cause they won't do it unfortunately, its beyond crap I'm heavily oregant 39wks and about to lose my pets and have a baby talk about the world not being nice to me but I'll get thru it cause my girls will be with me till the pass away their old and I won't give into emotional blackmail

  8. #8

    Default Re: In law troubles

    Can you get your doctor or the baby's pediatrician to talk to your husband. Depending on if you are having the baby in a hospital, sometimes the midwives will kick people out. If you talk to them about it, they might be able to help.

  9. #9

    Default Re: In law troubles

    Ohh I didn't realize that oh I'm so gonna ask about that , may upset hubby but at least bub will get some protection while were in hosputal

  10. #10

    Default Re: In law troubles

    Urgh how horrible to have a mil like that. To be honest i would just say "that's ok then but you won't seeing our baby until after their vacs".

  11. #11

    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Ballina, NSW
    Posts
    348

    Default Re: In law troubles

    This seems like something you need to get your hubby on board with. One of the MWs yelled at DP cos he hadn't got his vax yet when our dd was born, and when he explained he had gone to the GP to get it but the go told him he didn't need it and wouldn't give it to him, the MW changed her tune and vaxxed him instead.

    I told everyone they had to get it. I assumed everyone had it. When DS was born I found out my ILs had never got it (even with dd) as it wasn't something they did in NZ. Whooping cough was going around here, and they were going to be staying with us for three days. I was worried, upset, concerned, and a whole bag of emotions. My MW said that it was a low risk that they would contract it while here and pass it on, so I just made sure everyone washed their hands thoroughly before handling my bub. I had DP on board with this, as I had shown him a video when pregnant with dd. He told them to wash their hands, and got upset when I cried after finding out FIL was a bit blas? about it. And hadn't.
    Emotions of a heavily pregnant and just birthed mama are a rollercoaster and DP doesn't want to have to ride that


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