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Thread: Sharing bedrooms- mixed genders or ages

  1. #1

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    Default Sharing bedrooms- mixed genders or ages

    I have a 4 yr old dd, 2 yr old ds and baby dd. Currently, two older kids share a room and we have a toy room and baby is in with parentals. Trying to decide for future (12-24 months ish) what to do in relation to kids bedrooms.

    Option 1 - 3 kids beds in one room, keep toy/study room

    Option 2 - 2 girls in one room (4 year age gap), and boy in solo room

    Option 3 - one boy and one girl in one room (2 year age gap), with one of girls in their own room.

    DD1 will probably be starting school in 2015.

    If you have 3 or more kids, and middle child is opposite gender did you keep same genders together or similar ages?

  2. #2

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    Default Re: Sharing bedrooms- mixed genders or ages

    My middle child is same gender, but close in age, they used to share a room (only as it was a 3 bedder house). All my kids now have their own rooms. I'm not a fan of room sharing.

    In your case, I'd always let the eldest have their own room, and younger 2 share. At least until your DS is at an age where he needs to be alone. So option 3

  3. #3

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    Default Re: Sharing bedrooms- mixed genders or ages

    What do they want?

    ETA: ok, re-read your post. Hard to know what they'll want in 12-24 months time. But that's how I'm planning things anyway. There will be three beds. I don't really mind which one they sleep in or in what room. I just want them to sleep, get along as best they can and feel happy that what they want in terms of space, belongings etc is respected. I don't think it has to come down to age or gender... just about individual personalities and needs.

  4. #4

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    Default Re: Sharing bedrooms- mixed genders or ages

    At the moment, 4 year old DD wants 3 tiered bunks, and everyone in her room. I like this idea when they are little, I am sure it will change as she gets older. The current bedroom would be very squishy without bunks.

    I'm trying to plan ahead in terms of furniture (beds and wardrobes), so maybe I need adaptable furniture that can change as the kids do.

    For now, the older two are more comfortable with room sharing, they would have all 5 of us in one bed if it was their choice (and that's what we get some nights). I know its only early, but Baby DD seems to be happy to sleep independent ly, and it has got me wondering about who is best to share.

  5. #5

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    Default Re: Sharing bedrooms- mixed genders or ages

    I don't have 3 but 2 of opposite gender who share, and I would let them decide, but my preference would be your Option 3, with initially the oldest having own room. All depends on the children, but my DS frequently wakes up DD too early e.g. 5:30 - and this year at kinder she seems to need more sleep than him, and from what I have heard when they start school they are even more tired - so based on that, I would choose option 3, but I think the ideal combination will vary over time.

    I am working on needing to have boy/girl having their own room by time the oldest gets to be about 8/9 - although I don't really think is that big a deal if have to share after that (when I was 16/17 I had my brothers room for a year and my brother and sister shared (14 and 12) for the year to help me with studying for final exams)

  6. #6

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    Default Re: Sharing bedrooms- mixed genders or ages

    My son has his own room and the girls share a bedroom, there's a 4 year age gap between the girls. It was absolutely fine when they were younger but now that they're 15 and 11, it's hard.

  7. #7

    Default Re: Sharing bedrooms- mixed genders or ages

    I don't know if it is true or not, but I did hear that there is a law about kids and sharing rooms (mixed gender). My friend told me as she had teenager daughter sharing with younger brother and she was told it wasn't allowed... by whom I don't know.

  8. #8

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    Default Re: Sharing bedrooms- mixed genders or ages

    DD1 and DD2 share a room. DD1 asked for them to share. There is a 3.5 year age gap. We haven't had any issues. DD2 has lots of rough nights and she doesn't wake DD1. If DD2 wakes early, I often hear DD1 chatting to her so she doesn't cry. It's very sweet. We often ask DD1 if she wants her own bedroom again and the answer is always no.

  9. #9

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    Default Re: Sharing bedrooms- mixed genders or ages

    I'd be very surprised if such a law existed Kathryn. There's plenty of insane things going on in politics ATM, but that would be up there in the ranks of completely and utterly nuts.

  10. #10

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    Default Re: Sharing bedrooms- mixed genders or ages

    Quote Originally Posted by Santosha View Post
    I'd be very surprised if such a law existed Kathryn. There's plenty of insane things going on in politics ATM, but that would be up there in the ranks of completely and utterly nuts.
    It's not an Australian law, thankfully. I've seen comments in one of my FB groups about it, I think from Canadians? Crazy.

  11. #11

    Default Re: Sharing bedrooms- mixed genders or ages

    Quote Originally Posted by Santosha View Post
    I'd be very surprised if such a law existed Kathryn. There's plenty of insane things going on in politics ATM, but that would be up there in the ranks of completely and utterly nuts.
    And that's the UK for you! The room sharing laws are only for people who live in state housing though, and it's more to ensure that a large family get a larger house when their youngest child with a mixed gender sibling family is 5.

    When you have your own home, you can do what you want. But the state won't pay anything to help you.


    I do have cousins who every year or so would chop and change who shared a room with whom. That worked best for them, as they all got a turn at their own room and they all stopped sharing before they started to really resent their sibling.

  12. #12

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    Default Re: Sharing bedrooms- mixed genders or ages

    I have DS & DD3 together. It was dd2 & dd3, but it wasn't working. DS wouldn't be alone in his room.

    This is only now we have 4 brms. Before dd1 & dd2 shared, then the younger 2. Having the big girls together was a nightmare!



    Both younger kids rooms have bunks. The little kids bunks are separated, so the dog can sleep with DS. Dd2's bunks don't separate, but she has room for a friend over or what ever. Dd1 has a double bed. If we have family stay, they take her bed & she gets the lounge or dd2's spare bed.

    As they get older, they change their minds, & as their personalities develop you'll know what is the easiest for you.

    Eta; I'm pretty sure government housing here in Aus has similar rules. Just not law. I looked into it when they told me I wasn't over crowded, so could be moved down to a 3 bedder. I thought it stupid that DS had to have his own room, but that dd1, being pretty much a teen, didn't matter & had no rights to privacy.

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