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Thread: What were YOUR parents like?

  1. #1

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    Default What were YOUR parents like?

    Now that I am pregnant again, I guess I am wondering what type of parent I will become once I am dealing with two little munchkins.

    Looking back on my own childhood, I had a really wonderful upbringing that was full of really special memories, unconditional love from both my parents and a lot of joy and security.

    I guess, looking back, my parents are now my role models for what I would like to become as a parent.

    What about you? What were your parents like? Good, bad or ugly? How do you think the parenting that you recieved will affect the way that you parent your own children? What about your partners parents?

    Are you keen not to repeat their "mistakes"? Or keen to replicate all of their parenting talents?!


  2. #2

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    Honestly my parents were pretty good, we were allowed to do alot of stuff being 3 girls it seemed others with brother could do more, but really our parents were understanding that we were growing & so understanding most of the times, of course there were times when we thought they were so strict, but realistically I now know without boundaries we would have been horrid!
    I guess one thing I hope to do differently is encourage dreams...
    I can recall numerousoccasions of coming hom & expressing my dream to do something or other & being laughed at, saying I'd never be able to do it etc, etc... So I'd give up!!!
    I want Maddy & future baby/ies to know I am fully supportive of their dreams... No matter how ridiculous (some of mine were abit out there!)
    I guess all in all they wewre really good, now we are all very close (we live on same block!)
    Dad still thinks I am his baby (I am his golden child in all honesty, can't do wrong!) But reminds me of things that a 31 yr old knows, but I guess he's trying to help!!!

  3. #3

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    They were strict, but not as strict as some I knew and I felt I couldn't really tell mum alot of things. All that changed when I moved out though and now tell her anything and everything. I think she also changed too as she used to be a bit polite etc and never swore or stuff like that, now she can swear like a trooper

    I am hoping my boys will be able to come and talk to me about anything, I don't think they would be able to have that sort of relationship with Andrew cause he can be a bit funny on some issues iykwim so I hope as the boys grown he will change that attitude as well.

    I want to try and be a friend to them as well as maintaining a parenting level, so I hope i am able to find a nice balance as they grow and mature.

    Love

  4. #4

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    My parents were strict but often lost control and lashed out iykwim. Smacking was a common occurance in my house, as was yelling, a "clip across the ear", as well as "get the feather duster/wooden spoon". I don't have a problem with boundaries, but I see with my own daughter and how I have done things differently, and I have never had to lay a finger or anything else on her. When it comes to communication I think I was really lucky that we did do alot of talking, especially about our feelings and I think thats a tradition I have tried to carry on with DD. There are a few things I wouldn't do that my parents did but it was the style of parenting too. And most people did what everyone else did back then, and the first thing to come out of someone's mouth if they saw a child muck up would be "that kid needs a good whollop" iykwim. I guess I do use my parents as role models in some way, but moreso so I don't do what they did LOL! But having said that there are a few things I have taken from the positive too
    Last edited by Rouge; May 23rd, 2011 at 01:49 PM.

  5. #5

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    Well my mum has raised me since i was about 16mths old, so my dad really hasn't had any part in that, so just my mum. I would say my mum is stricter than some mum's but i've seen worse. The problem my mum has is that she is too over protective. I never had tantrums and i think that has a lot to do with the way she raised me. Her mum on the other hand wasn't a very motherly mum at all. She was an alcoholic, was never home, didn't believe in schooling or homework. She made my mum leave school and get a job at 16 and whenever saw her doing homework she'd throw it in the bin... Not my ideal role model and not my mums either. So compared to my grandmother, my mum is a great role model. I would do things a bit different to her but i don't regret the way she raised me.

  6. #6

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    Well...my parents sound a bit similar to Rouge, okay most of the time and then would lash out unsuspectingly and we'd either get a wooden spoon etc... I don't remember my father really having anything to do with us, he just lived in the same house. Thats about all I knew about him.

    Its really challenged DH & I to make decisions now on how we want to raise Matilda. Deciding ahead of time what our boundaries are and developing an important bond so she knows she's loved by both of us and we are a united front so she has security in knowing what is expected of her, but also heaps of rewards, cuddles and play times when she's going well.
    Last edited by Rouge; May 23rd, 2011 at 01:50 PM.

  7. #7

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    My parents have been great. For a few years we were raised by our grandparents as we lived with them and mum worked really long hours. My mum and dad split when i was about 1, so it was just mum, my sister and i for a while, then mum got remarried. My step dad has been more of a father to me than my real father, which is probably an awful thing to say, but my step dad has always been there for us whereas Dad generally doesnt have anything nice to say to my sister and I (aparently we arent part of the family.).
    My parents were not strict, but we were disciplined. They gave us the chance to have independence and let us do our own thing and take care of ourselves. Theyve always helped us out when we needed it. Mum has always tried to set a good example and has good morals too. Never forced us to do things we didnt want. Even though i no longer live with my parents(im only 15 minutes away so still close), we still definatley keep in contact and help each other out. I reckon i have turned out well, so hopefully i can do some of the things my mum did for me and be a great mum like her.

  8. #8

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    All I can really say, is that if I'm half the parent that my Dad is, then I'll be rapt. Lets you make your own mistakes, but is always there to pick you up when you fall down. Doesn't make comments like "I told you so", just "how can I help?" "what do you need?"

    Mum tries hard, but often doesn't "get it", IYKWIM!? She's really nice, but over the top.

    They're both really great. I'm one of four kids, and they sacrificed everything so that we could have a great life, we all went to private schools and had every opportunity (music lessions, sport, drama etc) and they didn't really have time to themselves. I really respect their decisions, they have four kids who get along great, and are really wonderful people (son doctor, daughter lawyer, son in communications, daughter still at uni).

    The most recent example is that DH got laid off at the end of February, and my firm closed. I got a job the next week, but DH only got one last week. So we had about 8 weeks of no income from DH. Mum and Dad came around and gave us heaps of money (over $700) to pay bills and rent, and don't expect it back or anything in return. They're just fabulous.

    And when I had the m/c last year, I rang them at 5am and asked them to come around, they were at my door in less than 10 mins. No questions, no problems. They're just there!

  9. #9

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    I just thank god I had the dad I did, otherwise I would not likely have survived my childhood. He was the most wonderful, caring, sensitive man who did all he could (when dealing with a psychotic evil wife) to make my brother and I experience some of the good stuff in life.

    I just hope that I have learnt from him and have the chance to make him proud.


    Keen

  10. #10

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    My parents are fantastic. They have always been supportive and would do anything for me. I have always had a great relationship with my Mum. I have always been able to talk to her about everything and anything. And of course I'm Daddy's liitle girl. I have great memories as a child going to work with my Dad on school holidays. It was always fun as I got to eat junk food!LOL!

    Divvy my parents were the same when I had my M/C. Since we couldn't afford Frank to have time off when I had to go to emergency and then when I had my D & C they took time off work instead. It makes you feel real lucky.

  11. #11

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    If i ever turn out like my mother then shoot me. I guess i love her cos she is my mum on a technicality but man she can be infuriating. She was an older mother (no offence to those of you out there - but it was unusual back then) and i don't remember enough fun bits of our growing up - then my parents split when i was 11 so yeah kinda crap from there on out. Mum has a temper and i have inherited it and i work so hard in not being like that - thats why we started with pets first....

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