This was also the point I was trying to make :):
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This was also the point I was trying to make :):
Earlier in the discussion Kelly mentioned this was in the wrong place. I asked her to move it to a more appropriate section. Later on in the thread we agreed it would stay here.:
By all means move it, I never put threads in the right places and always get into trouble for it lol.
I did see your post as being what you say PZ :)
I said it was interesting it was here and I posed a question do you think it would be better where it would reach all people regardless of how they feed their babies. But a decision has been made, the only thing stopping it from carrying on is off topic posts. FF'ers regularly jump into BF'ing threads and we don't tell anyone to nick off as it's our area. I did say happy with it here, carry on and enjoy.... so lets just carry on shall we?
Delphmoon, I hope you soon realise that BB was set up for MOTHERS to support each other, not some idea of sub-sections of mothers to support each other in cocoons. This is the first time in my whole membership that I've been told I don't belong somewhere. And I've posted in TTC, LTTC, and Loss forums, as a member who hasn't got personal experience to share, and plenty of empathy and understanding, esp because I have IRL friends who have experienced these things. Just as IRL I have friends (*gasp*) who use formula, comp-feed and who breastfeed.
Just because you don't see the value in mine or other posts, doesn't mean someone else hasn't, so please don't play the exclusion game. You underscore the OP's point by doing this, and it's really unfriendly of you to tell me to shut up when I'm agreeing with the OP. It's not the BB way...
Empowerment, discussion, to share thoughts- you know that sort of thing.:
Sure Tinks, that's cool. It's just that people were asking why "others" were chipping in and I wasn't sure why it wasn't welcome.
I think maybe we're all actually on the same side here :D
Tinks and Kel - apologies for bringing up that it be moved again, just seemed to still be an issue about who is a valid contributor, KWIM? :doh: yet another apple cart tumbles!
You havn't offered anything other than criticism..What have you got to say about the actual thread other than "I prefer not to support new mums with negative references to formula feeding mums, so I can't see how sniggering about the dumb things some well-meaning (sometimes not) and less-informed people say materially or emotionally supports a mum who has had to use formula.:
I think it's encumbent on all of us to counter ignorance, not just formula feeders, and not just breastfeeders. Ignorance doesn't serve us as mothers, does it? "
What are you talking about?
I am surprised and I spose driven by the countless PMs I am currently getting from people who feel the same way I do...I'm sick of this and I'm completely done with this thread!!
There was no need for a question to be turned into WWIII.
If you feel yourself getting drawn in, emotional and carried away with a thread then its time to step away until a time when you feel level again. Lets get this back on track, we'll remove OT posts so that this can keep going forward.
I agree, except I'd leave the OT posts so people can see how the thread progressed back to being on topic. It annoys me sometimes when posts go (unless they're flaming, trolling, overly rude etc) because the thread doesn't make as much sense (to me anyway :) ):
Well to change the topic (perhaps) I felt awful when I FF my sons. I BF them from birth without a hitch but it fell off the rails when I returned to work and had to pump. Flynn made it to 9 months and Ollie to 7 months but I couldn't keep up my supply. Personally I have never experienced any of the comments in the OP but I hated giving my boys formula. It felt like an inferior product. My DH even commented he felt awful when he had to feed them formula, especially in public. We felt like bad parents. There is no way in hell I am giving my daughter formula this time around - part of the reason I took 12 months mat leave this time was to maintain my BFing as long as I can.
So I can completely understand how FF mums feel attacked.
Do you know what's awful?
Not feeding your child at all.
That's awful. Everything else is doing what we either choose, or have to, do. Whether it's breastfeeding or formula feeding.
We are ALL good mothers and fathers. We nourish our children so they thrive. We love them and we do whatever we can for them.
There is NOTHING awful about that.
If you are asked for your advice give it but if your not keep it to yourself.
Sometimes the unsolicited advice is not wanted or needed and you can be opening old wounds.
I have been offered unwanted advice about how I could BF my son for longer...this person had no idea what I had gone through, the struggles that I had gone through to try and BF, they did not know that he was a 25 weeker and they did not know I had successfully BF my other children (3 until 12 months)....so I 'knew' what to do.
I was devastated when I had to put him on high fat formula as it felt like my body had not only failed to carry him as it should it also could not nurture him...I own my feelings of failure but the unwanted advice brought that back up.
Of course we have to own our own feelings but we have to also be aware that words used the wrong way (even well meaning ones) can hurt.
*insert Yeah that sign*:
I just took some time to read this thread as it did interest me until it started getting nasty. There definately was no intention to make this a blame game but it has turned into one AGAIN... BB is certainly not the place it used to be, there is little or no respect for people anymore ;-(
All I want to add without being shot down is as long as baby is being fed and looked after then that is all that matters. There is way too much neglect and abandonment in this world so go and focus on fixing that then making women feel attacked and unable to have a healthy discussion.
I think this is a great spot for the thread. Just as BFing mummas share retorts & supports for BFing (you know... when some rude person tells you not to do 'that' in a cafe, etc), I actually think this thread is a great platform of support & thought for FFing mums to combat the stigma they face. It's the 'otherside' that I can't experience, but that doesn't make it any less valid.
Now... before anyone gets worked up again - go & hug your babies. Or the cat. or a teddy. Feel the love. Then decide if it's worth all the crabby & knotted nickers that's be flying around while I was cooking dinner.
Hmm. Well I read the title and opening post as if it was TO breastfeeding advocates. Not that it was just ABOUT breastfeeding advocates :dunno:
If you don't want breastfeeders to read or respond or even learn something from it, then perhaps the title of the thread should be changed because as far as I'm aware it is inviting advocates in to learn to watch what they say.
As far as I can see everyone agrees that the comments in the 1st article are out of line. So what's the argument about?? I think the 'breastfeeding advocates' have been quite gracious in response to an article that lumps them all in with the hard headed 'advocates' that don't put thought or respect into what they say. I can only begin to imagine the response to a similar article being written about 10 things formula feeders shouldn't say. I dare say it wouldn't be received well.. Yet breastfeeders need to butt out of this one and just cop it on the chin? :think: