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Thread: Feeding difficulties Debrief

  1. #19

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    Very interesting thread.

    I like some of the others didn't notice any real difference with my breasts during the pregnancy. I went up one size - that's it - 18DD. I always expected I'd breast feed. I never expected issues. I also had flat nipples but my mum successfully breastfed with them so why shouldn't I be able to?

    It was a long, painful labour & traumatic birth. He was placed on my chest as soon as regular respirations were established. He nuzzled as he should.

    Brock was in my room at first but didn't seem to be latching on. The midwives in the ward gave me a bit of help but I just didn't feel it was working. He then went to SCU that night because of a temp caused by infection.

    Once he went into SCU I had heaps of help from the midwives. One was present for every feed. He had to be given formula top ups in a cup as he was losing weight. My milk didn't come in til day 3 & there was hardly any there. Nipple shields helped slightly but not greatly. He was so groggy from the antibiotics he could barely feed, he also had jaundice which made it worse. I was woken 3 hourly overnight to feed. Brock was woken as well if he wasn't awake. The SCU was not the best area to try to breastfeed but I couldn't take him out of there. It was really busy in there and you could hear others having problems - one lady arguing with the father of her child every night on the phone - another who was screaming because she couldn't sit down after giving birth & they were trying to get her to BF in the SCU - not the best environment to be in when you are experiencing BF difficulties.

    After 3 nights I was discharged to a bonding room. The first night they brought Brock in to me whenever they wanted him to feed. I had no control over this as they said he had to put on weight or he would not be discharged. The top ups continued. The 2nd night there (5th night) he was in my room. Finally I could control when he would get fed. I stressed all night (don't think I got any sleep) because I worried he'd be staying in hossy & I would be sent home. I was also feeling lots of pain from my episiotomy & I was only taking panadol. I needed to take forte but I'd been told that it could cause Brock to be even sleepier. I felt so low those last 24 hours.

    We were allowed to leave together the next night. Finally I was in full control. The pain was worse when I started to walk around & still I couldn't do much about it. I took an electric pump home with me & started pumping after every feed. I very rarely got more than 20. It was so disappointing. I got very little sleep between BF & top ups with EBM then top ups with FF & all that pumping. My MCHN said if it's not working just give up - no need to be a martyr. I perservered for a while longer. Expressing more often or for longer did not result in a bigger supply. I did not want to take medications to try to increase my supply as there's a history of breast cancer in my family & I was a little paranoid about the effect of doing this could have.

    I eventually saw a LC. She walked in the door & said "he's thriving". She checked that he still had the instinct in him to BF because by this stage everything was being fed by bottle as I just couldn't face putting him on the breast as he just didn't attach. She said he still had the instinct but that because he was thriving on mostly FF there was absolutely no need for me to keep expressing. Such small amounts would make no difference to him that far along (6 weeks) and that he'd had what he really needed in those very early days. She said I could keep going if I really wanted to but there was no need to.

    I stopped expressing that very day. I felt so much better instantly. If only I'd realised how much better I'd feel if I just gave up I would've done it sooner.

    He's still going strong on formula.

    I don't regret making that decision that day.

  2. #20

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    i hated my whole BF and i feel so guilty that i didnt sick with it now but i had no support.

    ok i might have this wrong but when u have bub and u have that skin to skin contact dont u usually feed then, not straight away but u try b4 like 6 hrs later or somethign dont u.

    i felt so robbed. i have seen so many pics and stories of the first boobie feed and i asked if i was emnt to be feeding her or if i coudl try and they said no. i didnt even get to go with ehr to get measured or anythignthey just took DH and bub away after about 5 min and i didnt see them again for nearly 30mins.

    after i got all cleaned up and got settled back into my room had a few visitors they came in and told me i shoudl try to feed her. i coudlnt get ehr to attach so they grabbed her head and just smoshed her face into me until she screamed and opened her mouth then they held her against me. i was nearly crying it didnt look liek she coudl breath.

    this happened nearly every feed for the first 2 days. i got her to attach the end of the 2nd day by myself i told them it hurt asked if i was ment to feel a bit of pain or wat they just said it wazs goodi got her on. by the time i got home i had a huge chuck of skin flapping off both of my nipples. i coulnt even express my left one and i got mastitis.

    i had a nurse come visit and i was so upset i coudlnt feed dd would latch on at all. she basically told me to deal with it and express for a day. all i could get out was a few drops which was mostly blood anyways. i asked about nipple shields i was told they woudl hurt more.

    then i asked my mum she just pushed me to formula. asked the nurse wat formula and how much she woudlnt tell me but woudlnt help me BF either.

    Then i dried up within a day.

    I really wanted to BF and i feel liek i really missed out and had absolutly no help.

  3. #21

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    Sassy,
    that sounds like the feeding intro from hell - I'm sorry you and Jayda had such a horrid time of it.

    If bub is healthy, it is best to try and feed as soon as possible after birth - like within an hour. So having to wait that long wasn't the best of starts. And the "help" afterwards doesn't sound like much help either.

    How are you and Jayda doing now? If you need to really let out some emotions and guilt from your BF trauma then calling an ABA counsellor might help. They can be found here:
    Australian Breastfeeding Association - Breastfeeding Helpline Service

    hugs
    Kate

  4. #22

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    i thought i would jump in here..

    i made the decision to stop BFing yesterday and i am hating myself for it. I know its what was best for Mia and my sanity but i feel like i have betrayed her. I was getting very close to slipping into PND from BFing her and i cant understand y. I was crying every day when BFing her and i cry everyday now that im not. She is so much happier on the bottle and if it was just the bottle issue then i would express full time but i just dont seem to have the supply or cant get enough out to meet her demands. I was feeling at peace with my decision yesterday and now all i feel is sadness. Why couldnt i just BF her like normal ppl do.. it makes me so angry! im crying now writing this as i have so many emotions running through me. Another thing.. when i was Bfing, Dp had this huge issue about me feeding her infront of ppl.. even my mum! when the hell was i meant to feed her? just let her starve coz i have visitors? so this made us fight all the time. I think im just going to feel like a failure every moment of my life.

    sorry, i just had to get it out.

  5. #23

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    Hollye. I am so sorry that you are going through this. The first weeks with a nb are a roller-coaster ride of emotion so the good news is that you are normal, even though I know you feel anything but. Please try to be kind to yourself. You are in no way a failure hun. Tell yourself that over and over. Because it's true. You have had a really rough time and you are taking control and trying to get past it.

    The thing is that there is no easy path here. Give yourself time to get used to being a mum. YOu will feel better when the hormones ease and you are getting some more sleep. I promise you, you WILL feel better. This is the start of a wonderful journey called motherhood. And you hun, are doing a great job of it so far. Take care hun, and know that we are all here for you.

  6. #24

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    ok my decision has been made. I had a big talk last night with DP and this is what we are going to do. Im going to express 1-3 times a day so she can have 1-3 BM bottles a day. The rest will be formula and once or twice a week i will try and re attach her to the breast. We are going to take tit nice and slow and hopefully if my supply favours me i will be able to wean her gradually off the bottle and formula all together. I feel much more at peace with this decision coz she is still getting full feeds from my breastmilk. hope that makes sense.

  7. #25

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    That's great news Hollye. I am so glad you have found a plan which you are happy with. Would you consider seeing a LC to help you with this at all? You are doing a great job for Mia hun. Well done.

  8. #26

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    thanks manta. yep im gonna head down and see my LC this week and see what she thinks about it all .

  9. #27

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    This is a great thread! I have stuggled with this on and off since Bethany was born.

    When I was pregnant I went to met with a LC because I was concerned there would be problems. One because I was on medicaion but secondly no woman in our family has produced milk, My mum, grandma and so on. Never had their milk come in. I was told that this was impossible that ALL women can breastfeed, they must have not tried hard enough. Since when my mum had me she was a trained midwife and LC I find that hard to believe. Anyway on to the birth. My birth was fairly traumatic and Bethany was in special care for 5 days. I tried everything, attaching her, cuddles, sitting on the pump. Nothing happened. I was becoming more and more depressed. She was already getting top ups because she was so jaundice, eventually they had to even tube fed her because she wouldn't take the bottle. After 5 days and nothing not even colosturm I decided to bottle feed. I went to ask a midwife on the ward what I needed my mum to bring in. Gee just remembering this is breaking my heart! She looked at me and said why didn't I organise it all earlier, I explained that I had planned to BF but it hadn't worked, she then responded, that I was "that woman" who had no milk...Great I was a talking point. I burst in to tears. The midwife and LC came to my room to tell me what I needed and the like, the LC went on about how I should keep sitting on the pump each feed to see if we could get something, I had been sitting on the pump for 20-30mins every 3 hrs for days and NOTHING!! At this point I lost it again, they were just so unsupportive, the whole attitude was "well do this if you must but if you worked harder you could do it." How much harder could I have worked?? Bethany is fine and I know I made the best choice for her, but wow even now 6 weeks later I choke up remembering that converstaion. But I smile when I remember my mum losing it at them!! She told them!! LOL We all need our mums even we are mums!!

  10. #28

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    Everyday i can't stop thinking that i failed my son by not BF him
    it started as soon as he was born i felt like the middies were trying to force him instead of him letting him try himself and by the end of the first 24 hours i already had a cracked nipple coz he wasnt attaching properly and i rested that boob and expressed and fed him the colostrum then i had an awesome middie who helped me get the attachment right but i feel like it was already too late and everytime i fed him it hurt me so bad but i was putting up with it 3 days after getting home in the middle of the night i felt defeated and gave up and bought formula the next day i really feel like i failed my son and i feel like that everytime i look at him but hes thriving and hes happy i dont know how or if i will ever get over it i just needed to get it out and i know that if i continued i probably would have had real issues but even knowing this i feel like crap and i've found out all things to help way 2 late and i know for next time but its 2 late for my son

  11. #29

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    hun. What a difficult time you have had.

    You have done such a great job hun, you really have. You have been let down by the system - you haven't failed. It's great that you feel like you have learnt from the experience and would be able to bf another baby. That is an achievement in itself. Try to go easy on yourself - I know you must be flooded with emotions right now, but be proud that you did all you could.



    I hope writing your story out has helped you a little bit, and hopefully over time it will get easier. Thank you for sharing your story. We are all here for you

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