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Thread: Feeling guilty

  1. #1

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    Aug 2009
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    Unhappy Feeling guilty

    Hi,



    does any one feel guilty about formular feeding their child?

  2. #2

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    i used to... but i know i'm doing what's best for both of us and I can see how she's growing so well and to me all that matters is that she's happy and healthy.

  3. #3

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    I did for no other reason except I felt like a failure because my body couldn't breastfeed. It was our last option yet I still felt guilty. I still feel the need to justify why my baby isn't bf. But dd1 is almost 2 and I haven't been asked if she was ff ever since she stopped bottles at 1 year old. It's a very short period where they are on bottles yet we torture ourselves for much longer. I just look at how healthy my girls are and that reassures me that formula was ok for my girls. It's not poison! My dd1 has only just had her first lot of antibiotics in 23 months for a uti. So much for formula contributing to a lowered immune system. Sending you hugs Hun. I know how it feels

  4. #4

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    I Ffed two of my children with no guilt, BFed one & currently feeding EBM.
    In each case I have done the best I can at the time - so, no guilt!
    There's a lot more to raising children & parenting than how they are fed.
    In some cases, there might be physical or emotional reasons why it is better to FFeed.

    I also think that there is not a mother out there who thinks that she gets absolutely everything right. We all fall a bit short of our standards somewhere along the line, you know?

    If they are loved & have their needs met, that is the most important thing.


    ETA - FWIW, I suffer more guilt over what they eat now ... wait until they get older! That's a whole different kettle of fish

  5. #5

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    i felt guilty for a little while but DS and DD are very healthy and robust. 3rd time around i know i wont be so hard on myself if i fail at bfing again because i know my babies did just fine on ff.

  6. #6

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    I felt really guilty when I was contemplating the switch but I feel alot better now I can see him thriving and getting enough milk. I still have times where I wish that I was breastfeeding and feel guilty but I know it was the best for both of us.

  7. #7

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    TBH i didnt feel guilty AT ALL. i was put in hospital as i had severe PND and DDs bad attachment and my bleeding nipples was not helping my mental state at all. i can understand why some ppl feel guilty, but in the end its about what is the best for you and your child. if id continued BFing 'yes', its natural, but i wouldve been angry at her for hurting me, ruining our bonding process and IMO alot worse than switching to formula and possibly feeling guilty.

  8. #8

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    I felt guilty for a long time. I felt like i had to justify to everyone why ds was ff and not bf and would continually try and explain myself. I think that was just how i felt about it though. I never had a bad word said to me as to why ds was ff. I hope to have a successful bf journey with my future children but i wont get caught up in it as much as i did with ds if it isn't meant to be.

  9. #9

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    dont feel guilty..we can only do the best we can in any circumstance, it doesnt make us any less of a mum


  10. #10

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    I did for a while. But considering my BM wasn't providing DD with what she needed, I let it (my feelings) go. Every now and again I get a pang of guilt when people remind me of how brilliant BM is, but I know my options were FF or starve my child. I chose the best option for her.

  11. #11

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    I've been FF DS since he was 4wks old - and sometimes still feel guilty, but I'm slowly getting over it

  12. #12

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    It's a slow process, moving on from the guilt.

    There was just no way my body was going to produce milk after Samuel's birth. When we hit two weeks of pumping and were still only getting dribbles of colostrum...

    I did feel terribly guilty at first. But it's not like I chose faulty breasts - my medical conditions made them faulty and I didn't choose to be ill, either!

    I also had to make the decision to continue trying to BF or to medicate my arthritis properly. It came down to a choice of continuing to work towards feeding my son, or being able to hold him and cuddle him and care for him in all other ways.

    I have mostly moved on now, 13 months later.

    It can still randomly attack when I read things such as expressed donor milk being a better option than formula. But where were the people lining up to offer me donor milk?

    BW

  13. #13

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    i still do but i know that i probably wouldnt have coped if i didnt formula feed

  14. #14

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    Yeah, sometimes ........ but when we switched to FF at 6 months I was proud to have gotten that far, but we were having issues getting DS to continue BF, and even now getting him to take the bottle is a challenge, but easier to get him to FF than BF, once he started solids he was just no longer interested. I remind myself that we went through a fortnight of hell before we switched, and as DS was still feeding almost 3 hourly, that was alot of crying, we were both over it. So rather than turn our wonderful BF experience into a nightmare, we switched, and it was the best for both of us....and he is thriving, healthy, happy and delightful!

    I do miss it though, the closeness, the convenience and those lovely BF hormones that seem to float about when you are feeding. I think the only person that has made me feel guilty about it is me, we put such silly expectations on ourselves, sometimes we just need to give ourselves a break

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