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Thread: Gay & Lesbian Pregnancy General Chatter #1

  1. #19

    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Brisbane
    Posts
    5,310

    Default

    LOL DrGirl... I know just what you mean. After this BFN and the news about the cyst, I was convinced my body just isn't meant to be pregnant, that I am infertile, and that I was somehow responsible... Luckily I had my SIL who also had problems TTC their 3rd girl, so was able to give me some lovely advice, and also almost bought me a puppy lol! I don't know about a 'sperm food' diet... I have heard a lot of info about getting the sperm count up, but don't know much about it. You could probably start a thread in the conception board, I think a lot of people there would know what you are talking about.

    Good luck for next time.

    Curmon, bugger about the OHSS... I worry every time I take Clomid if that will happen... Good luck with this cycle!

    And congrats to Uncle Amy on the arrival of her little prince!!!!!

  2. #20
    Kerry&Linda Guest

    Default hello alll

    We are kerry & Linda and we are wanting to have a baby yayaya. we have read all you gals chatting away about all kinds of treatments and drugs and cycles. We feel so niave and overwhelmed. we have only just starting looking into the how, and where side of having a baby. Our only issue is we are in WA and among all the fertility websites we have searched, the issue of lesbian couples wanting to concieve is completely sidestepped and we have no idea where to start or who we can go to see. We would like to see a fertility specialist that does not discriminate based on sexuality and one that is going to be able to help us make the steps towards becoming pregnant. Can anybody give us any advice.

  3. #21

    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Perth, WA
    Posts
    116

    Default

    Kerry & Linda,
    Hi, I've just joined BB and saw your post tonight about fertility specialists in WA. I don't know if you've started any steps since you posted, but I can recommend Pivet for being very friendly towards us (my file has "Same Sex Couple" highlighted under my name, which means I don't have to explain myself or correct the nurses when I talk to them). I also know of a few women who have gone through Concept who say they were also helpful.

  4. #22
    BonanzaJellybean Guest

    Smile

    Well, there isn't much I can do now, it's all up to mother nature.

    Everything seems to be on track, Still no LH surge which is good. It normally appears on Day 13.

    I'm not getting my hopes up too high, just going away for a holiday........(and the rest! LOL!)

    I read somewhere this can be really really trying, like when day 28 comes and so does 'Harry!".......has been described as thinking you are pregnant and misscarring when really you may have just missed the target, if that makes sence.

    This is still really new to me so I guess its a learning process.

    GP wants to see me as soon as I get back......probably so he can order bloods to see if I am?

    Anyhow I hope eveyone else TTC has success this time round too.

  5. #23

    Default

    This is a big shout out to BONANZA!!!!

    Good luck for tomorrow, how excited you must be!!!!!!

    Hope she finds her way

    Sending you lots of

  6. #24
    BonanzaJellybean Guest

    Default

    I m not sure what I should do! I'm over due for my period, all my preg tests have been negative to date, my emotions are all over the place....not knowing if I am or Im not is past the 2ww and Dr says Im not pregnant and my period will start again soon!

    Well.........I'm still waiting!!!!!! And why do my BB hurt so much and why have I had these cramps since day 16 of my cycle? (after C.D 14) and Why is my older sister having morning sickness when she only gets it when someone in the family is pregnant (and she lives 700km away!)

    So do I stop taking my folate and chuck it in!!!!!!!????? Im going nuts on this see-saw, No-maybe-no-maybe-no......AAARRRGGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!or have i just got a big dose of ???????????????

  7. #25

    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Perth, WA
    Posts
    116

    Default

    Bonanza, that sucks I know. My AF was a week late after my first IUI, I think that was due to the luteul support hormones that I was on until I had my negative blood test.

    If the doctors have done a blood test and say you're not pregnant, I'd say that they're probably correct.

    Although as everyone else says, it's not over until AF rears her head.

    *fingers crossed for you*

  8. #26
    BonanzaJellybean Guest

    Default All over

    Oh well, Now what? A.F is on her way! Aint got another $1000 to go back down to my donor, not enough scripts yet to go to Sydney IVF on safety net medicare rebate!

    Do I go it alone with the new B/F.......if he knew I was bisexual he'd DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!![and deal with the issue if it turns into one that its not his kid I want! because then that makes him STUCK to me eternally!, at least if its a Donor there is NO ATTATCHMENT 'COMMITMENT' sought!] Apologies if that sounds bad!

    I must say all this insemination bizo reminded me of why i don't like sex with blokes even though I am still attracked to them!.....groase! Its the three days after that makes me sick when its all coming back out! Sorry T.M.I!!!!!!!!!! But yeah! YUK!
    God should have made us self pollinating/asexual then we wouldn't need to go through so much B.S!

  9. #27

    Default G'day

    G'day everyone,

    I originally posted the following message in the introduction section and was refered to post it in this section

    First off, I don't want to misrepresent myself, I am a male and thus forth not a Lesbian, I have a Gay Sister and she and her partner are trying to get pregnant via intravenous methods and so far they haven't had much luck with as you can imagine is getting them down.

    I'm trying to help them out as much as possible, and was hoping I would be able to hear some 'hints and tips' so to speak to help them get pregnant. I love my sister to death and want her to be happy above almost everything else in my life and so any advice that could be put forward would be greatly appreciated.

    David

  10. #28

    Default Looking for some advise

    My sister and her partner are concidering become parents in the future but they both leading very busy lives at the moment has asked me to do some research which i have found easily on the conception side of things but they have some concerns about once the children go to school and the issues they may face there and also they want the child/ren to call them both mum, how would this would would it be confusing when baby calles out mum you are not sure which one baby wants to go too??? Any advise that i could pass on would be invaluable. I hope to try and get my sister on here in the future to get her a network of friends who are in the same situation as herself and her partner who maybe able to calm their fears.

    Issy

  11. #29

    Default Names!

    Hi, I'm new to this site! Hope the discussions keep flowing.

    My partner and I are eagerly expecting twins - concieved through known donor insemination. We've just been to our first antenatal class
    One of the tricky decisions for us has been deciding what my parter will be called. I have two children from a previous (hetro) marriage and am the birth mother to the twins so it will make sense for me to continue to be called 'Mum' - but my partner understandably would like to have a name that recognises her parent status to the babies. We considered both being called Mum, but thought it might get confusing for the babies. The best we can come up with is Mama or Ma. I'd be keen to hear how other people have tackled this situation!

    Possilbly a bit late to add to this, but regarding legal parenting rights, in WA we are able to add a same sex parent to the birth certificate which would give legal recognition of that persons parenting role. Hooray! It has been hard with our other children knowing that if something happened to me, the kids could easily be taken off my partner and given to thier somewhat useless father and she would have no rights to access even though she has been parenting them for the last 7 years.

  12. #30

    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Brisbane
    Posts
    5,310

    Default

    Hi Indigograce,

    WELCOME

    We are both mum, and surprisingly the person who has the LEAST trouble with it is Jazz! If I say, go find mum, she goes and finds Shel. If Shel says, no go to mum, Jazz will come to me. If Jazz calls mum, one of us (usually both LOL!) will go to her. She understands, and in my mind its no different to having two grandmothers KWIM? Kids are smart cookies. It's the rest of us that thinks its confusing!
    To start off with we were going to go mum and mumma, but Jazz calls us both mum and mumma, so she's making up her own mind, which we decided is good enough for us.

    GREAT news about the birth certificate! We're hoping Qld will add that soon too, and make it retrospective so we can gain some recognition. It is so scary to think that in a time of crisis and grieving, that a family could be split apart thanks to some dumb idiotic archaeic people who think we aren't a family.

  13. #31

    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Melbourne (Eastern Burbs)
    Posts
    1

    Red face Non bio mum to be

    Hi all, my partner is 31 weeks pregnant with our first conceived through IVF with a known donor.

    We just had our first antenatal class last night and I felt kinda uncomfortable, ended up sitting in a group with all the preggie ladies and I'm not really in the same place as them so it was weird. I really wanna know what it's like for nonbio mums supporting ur partner in labour and just in general.

    My partner's going to have a baby shower in a couple of weeks and she's all like 'it's your shower too' but I don't really believe that. I mean I believe I am a mother but this is her pregnancy, I'll have a go in a year or two and then it will be my pregnancy. Right now I want her to be centre of attention.

    Kiri

    me - 30, her - 35
    DS due 4/5/10

  14. #32

    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    19

    Default Mmm...interesting

    Well i keep reading such interesting posts across this site and therefore keep wanting to write more and more.

    David : I think it's great of you to be looking for ways to support your sis. There are many sites around to search for donor dads. Which path your sister & her partner wish to take will determine which sites are more suited to them. Some sites are predominately for donors that wish to have no involvement, be anonymous, or be known to the child at 18. Other sites are more frequented by gay men wanting to be fathers. Some sites are for co-parenting. etc etc.

    circusmama : Hi Kiri, I read your post with much interest. My partner will be the non-bio mum for our first pregnancy. At this stage she's not sure if she wants to carry any babies, but time will tell. I worry about her feeling left out during the pregnancy. I know that once I give birth she will feel connected to Baby & will take her place as Mum easily and confidently. But the next 9 to (insert random no. here) months might be a bit up and down. I want to support her and make her feel an important part of the process...but i have to admit it's also really easy as the (hopefully soon to be) bio-mum to get overly excited and rush ahead & into your own world of pregnancy fantasy. Is there anything your partner could do to make you feel more a part of the pregnancy?

    ~Leasha~ : I like you thoughts on the 'Mum, Ma, Mama etc' dialogue. Makes sense to wait and see what works for Baby. My partner calls her mum 'Mom'...only sounds slightly different...so we'll probably start with Mom & Mum and see where it ends up.

    I'm still at the 'who tha daddy?' phase.
    A gay male friend of my partner has put his hand up - he's really keen, very nice, would make a good dad. I've never met him, so i'm trying not to get too excited until we meet up for a coffee and a chat. I'm chatting to another gay man who advertised to find les mums to have a baby with. From what i know of him, i like him a lot. But it will take time to get to know him more.
    (I'm writing in more detail about my journey on my blog - feel free to read & reply if you like )

    Anywayz - Much love to everyone.

    Caz

  15. #33

    Default andramayana

    Hi I am new to all of this but me and my gf are hoping to concieve in July this year. We have had our fair share of up's anhd down's on the talks of how I would concieve.

    I wanted to use a sperm donor we knew and my gf didnt. I wanted the child to have a male influence in their life, but after some compromising and in depth talks. I found that having a male figure in the childs life could be an uncle, a male friend etc.
    So i decided I would like to use an unknown sperm donor, and that has ended the talks of that.

    We have spoken about the birth certificate, and we are not sure how that will work out but eventually she will legally become the childs second parent. So that is not an issue.

    My concerns are all these cycles people are talking about etc... Its all alittle overwhelming and confusing also so could someone be as so kind to explain ICI or whatever it is and all the different methods.

    Also is it true that no matter what if I use a sperm donor through a clicnic the child will have the right to access that information when theyre 18years old. There is no loop hole for this not to happen? I think this should be an optional thing as mye and my gf do not want this to happen.

  16. #34

    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Sunshine Coast, QLD
    Posts
    3

    Default

    Hey everyone, so great to read your stories.



    Caramel...my female partner and I are about to head down our second go at IVF (she went first and we had our gorgeous 2yo Jay, now it's my turn and I have just started my first cycle).
    I don;t know what state you are in, but as far as birth certs go, it has only recently been passed in Qld that you can put anyone's name you like on there, two mums, two dads whatever and that proves you are both parents to the child. WE used anonymous American sperm and yes our kids will have the right and the ability to track the donor down when they are 18. There is no way around that anonymity...
    From our perspective we think it is healthy to be open and honest with our children from day one. That way there are no secrets, no potential for anger or family break-ups because someone feels betrayed or lied to and no one is left wondering "where did I really come from". The best we can do is love and support our kids and be honest about their origins and let them know we are there for them whatever they decide about their donor. But we know in our house, unlike some others, our boy does not have a father, he has two mums, simple as that.
    Anyway, I have just started blogging about my experience with IVF, check it out as I will be updating it daily (with any luck!) and going thru the process.
    We are doing ICSI - where they inject sperm into the egg to fertilise it before making an embryo that they then implant into you.
    Gay Fourth And Multiply
    Good luck!

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