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Thread: Hello from a Newbie!

  1. #1

    Smile Hello from a Newbie!

    Hi Everyone,

    I discovered this brilliant site yesterday while searching for answers and being overwhelmed by the amount of contradictory information out there. I am hoping someone can help answer my questions.

    Firstly, to introduce myself, my name is Bon and I live with my gorgeous partner of 15 years in Syd. We are both in our early 30s and are planning to start TTC next year. We were hoping to use her eggs and donor sperm and I would carry the baby and then if we decide to have more children later on we could swap and use my eggs and she would carry the baby. We have not decided on this method yet for sure and realise that it would be a lot more complicated and expensive than insemination but there are some family issues that we hope this would eliminate.

    I would really love to hear from anyone who has conceived this way or considered it and decided to go another route.



    Also I have been trying to figure out the whole gp referral / medicare thing and am thoroughly confused! As far as I can figure out ? to start IVF or AI at a clinic I need a referral from a gp that covers both my partner and me and that with this referral a substantial portion of the costs will be covered by Medicare. I have also read that many GPs will not give lesbian couples referrals for IVF as they are not medically infertile and therefore not entitled to any Medicare rebates. This sounds crazy to me?.is it really true?
    I would be grateful for any info on this.

    Thanks
    Bon

  2. #2

    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Hork-Bajir Valley
    Posts
    5,722

    Default

    Welcome!!!!
    All the best and good luck with you TTC!!!

    (sorry dont actually have any answers re: referral... We did IVF because of my husband, and I just got a referal from my gp saying we have to do IVF because of him. So I guess I got the referral no problems no questions despite me not having any infertility problems myself).

    GOOD LUCK!!!

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Brisbane
    Posts
    5,729

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    Welcome BonBon!

    If you ask around the forum I'm sure someone can direct you to a gay friendly doctor. I am not sure about the "rules" but certainly lesbian women are allowed to access IVF and IUI so I don't see what the issue some doctors have? Either way I think it's good to have a supportive doctor rather than a begruding one.

    I hope this goes well for you and your DP.

  4. #4

    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Castle Hill
    Posts
    225

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    Hi there..
    Welcome..
    We went to a fertility clinic in sydney at Castle Hill and we were told that they wouldn't put my partners eggs in me to carry as there was nothing medically wrong so in effect, no need.
    Also, the costing is super expensive, ranging from $6500 up to $10,000 PER GO!
    The sucess rate is about 25% in healthy, fertile circumstances...
    Even to have the insemination done, (no egg retrieval) the expense is about $1500 upwards PER GO!
    We did home inemination. We purchased 100 x ovulation strips, 20 x specimen cups and 25x 10 ml syringes.
    I tracked my ovulation for a few months before hand and when i knew we were about 3 days off ovulation, we did an insemination a day for 5 days.
    We fell pregnant 1st try.. (Mind you I had 4 miscarriages in a previous life with my ex husband, many many years ago).
    My girl and i found this more intimate as our donor did his business in the spare room, into the cup and handed her the syringe, fully loaded ready to go.
    We did it in the comfort of our own home with candles buring and she impregnated me with our now, 10 month old son.

    I found the experience we had with the IVF people the be very sterile and off putting, like we were wasting their time because we could fall pregnant, we had a known donor lined up....

    I loved it our way as it was special, inimate and only cost about $100 total. Not that I am tight, we had enough saved up for a couple of goes at the egg retrieval as we thought that was our best option.
    Each to their own, but by law, my g/f is on our sone birth cert. we have "mother" and "mother". you could choose parent 1 and 2 or mother and birth mother, but we wanted it all fair and even.
    So even though she didn't carry him, She is his mother and is financilally, medically and otherwise responsible for him.

    Let me know how you go... We need more RAINBOW babies!

  5. #5

    Default

    Thanks for your replies!

    Mum+Mum thank you so much for telling me how you went about it, it certainly gives me food for thought. I have looked into the costs involved in IVF and it is sooo expensive just for the first attempt let alone if we have to go back a few more times! Even IUI at a clinic would add up if you have to keep trying. It sounds like the method you used was quite fuss-free and much more personal than using the clinics and success on the first go ? wow ? I?ve heard this is really rare!

    Our issue is that we were going to use a known donor but this person has backed out recently due to some life changes (they have split up with their partner and moved to overseas). This means that we will probably end up using an anonymous donor which is obviously safer through a clinic.

  6. #6

    Default

    Hey There.
    I would recommend looking into Fertility First at Hurstville. They are very nice there, it?s not so "clinical".
    As for the referal, i think you can get that from any GP?

    Good Luck

  7. #7

    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Auckland, NZ
    Posts
    12

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    Hey Bon,

    Just thought I would respond as another newbie.
    My partner and I live in Auckland, NZ. She's 32 and I'm 34, it will be me carrying our babies.

    We have had 4 attempts with her lovely brother as our donor doing the DIY home insemination method. I guess we are/were another success story in that I got pregnant on our first attempt, but sadly I miscarried at 12 weeks. But that was just bad luck I guess, nothing to do with insemination, so it's definitely possible for it to happen easily.

    Our donor returns home to the Caribbean in just under 2 weeks, so this will be our last chance. It's likely that it hasn't worked again so far as it's been too soon after the miscarriage. Hopefully this time works and sticks!

    :-)

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