Circumcision

Tegan, we got both our boys done and I don't think that it precludes us from being gentle parents. As one of the other girls has said gentle parenting doesn't have a set of rules.
We got it done for religious reasons but even if we didn't have religious obligations I would have got it done.
My sister had her son circumcised and one of her midwives gave her lecture about how easy it was to teach her son to pull the foreskin back. My sister's answer; "its even easier not to have to bother teaching him" LOL.
I'm sure that you will make the right desicion for yourself and your bubba.

I'm with you Chloe. We had all our boys done for religious reasons, but would have had it done regardless.

Tegan you are not a bad mother! I personally haven't, and wouldn't, circumcise my son but that is my choice and I certainly do not have anything against people who do choose to have their son circumcised. Of course you can circumcise your baby and still be a gentle parent. IMO gentle parenting is a philosophy not a set of hard and fast rules that we have to live by. Do what you feel is right.

tegan i have 3 boys 2 are 11 and 8. they are not circumcised. regarding hygiene. we taught them to retract their foreskins as soon as they could and wash under there. they do this automatically now without even thinking about it. we told them it is very important. are you aware that it is very rare to be circumcised now? i know at swimming when the whole class is naked there is maybe 1-2 circumcised penis' amongst them that are 'done'. i am wondering if they feel abit different and how that sits with them.
i don't agree with circumcision and obviously it is not a gentle entrace to the world and the risks of haemorrhage and other probs are there but in saying that whether you circ or not will not exclude you from some 'club'. of course you can still parent gently.
good luck with this decision hugs
beckles

Tegan - Your certainly not a bad mother, you and Jacob have to weigh up the pros and cons and if YOU both feel it`s the right thing to do then that`s your decision as parents, no one else can decide for you but we can let you know the reasons for and against and then you both make the final decision.

Michael, Alister, Matthew and baby boy #4 are not circumsided, I did leave it up to DH as I had no idea what was right and what was wrong (mainly because I`d never even thought about it) but as he says it`s there for a reason and since having Matthew I`ve realised how easy it is to look after once he`s older, it`ll just become habit forming like brushing your teeth.

Nowdays you`ll find majority of little boys are not circumsed, off course you still get some but most aren`t - I have never been asked by any Dr/Midwife/Clinic Nurse if we wanted Matthew done, I think they all assume most don`t so they go along with it, I`m not sure, but they just don`t seem to ask what our intentions are.

Good Luck with your decision.

Take Care

Dee

Tegan, :hug: to matey. you are not a bad mother at all.

We never got Nicholas or Declan done. When Nicholas was born we thought we would get him done but once talking to our OB, we decided against it, we did weigh up the pros and cons though. It is trully a personal decision and only you and Jacob can make together. It is not up to anyone else to say you should or shouldn't get it done for one reason or another.

Whatever way you decide to go it was the right decision for you and your little man.

Good luck matey.

Hi Tegan,

It is certainly your decision and there is no such thing as a wrong decision when made for the right reasons. I researched this issue a lot before DS was done as I knew nothing about it. In the end I decided to have DS "done" for these reasons:
- it is no longer a surgical procedure so the pain etc is not there. The area is anaesethised with local aneasethetic cream and a "plastibell" (like a plasic ring) is put on which drops off in a couple of days.
- there are a lot of health reasons to have it done - there is a whole list of conditions that are less likely in a circumsied male, including UTIs which can be fatal to infants and later penile and testicular cancer.
- it is becoming far more common now so a circ child is unlikely to stand out
If you are not sure, research this more - there are great articles on the web to help.

Shouldn't the definition of "gentle parenting" include making informed decisions and doing as you believe best with your child's best interest at heart? Not strict rules about what you can and can't do??

Good luck with your decision and enjoy your little boy!
Melanie.

:

---

it is becoming far more common now so a circ child is unlikely to stand out

---

Sorry Melanie, but I find that reason to be ridiculous. That would be like saying my son has bright red hair and will stand out so maybe I should dye his hair so that way he is less obtrusive. No trying to start anything of course, just my opinion :)

As I said earlier, each to their own, but it's not something you get done just to "fit in" with the crowd.

Any reason you have to want to get it done, is valid - whether it's hygiene, history, medical, appearance ... I don't know about the 'rules' for gentle parenting, but he's your baby and a lot of parenting is instinct, and if thats the way you want to go, do it.

The most recommended doctor to us (Melb) was booked ahead a month and didn't do them on babies over seven weeks. Also, a good doctor will go though everything and will understand if you don't want to go thru with it.

Can circumcision prevent UTIs in infants?

Some research suggests that circumcised infants may have a lower incidence of urinary tract infections (UTIs). Approximately 0.188% of circumcised infants and 0.702% of intact infants develop a UTI. However, this difference is slight, and female infants have a far higher incidence of UTI than circumcised or intact boys (5%). Mothers will be happy to know that immediate breastfeeding protects male and female infants from such infections. If a UTI does occur, the most conservative treatment is with antibiotics and more rigorous follow-up in rare cases of recurrent infections. Chronic UTIs are often the result of abnormalities in the urethra or bladder which will usually require surgery.

Can circumcision prevent penile or cervical cancer?

The risk factors for penile and cervical cancer are cigarette smoking and exposure to various strains of the human papilloma or wart virus (HPV), through unprotected sex with multiple partners. Penile cancer is an extremely rare disease with less than 1 case per 100,000 men and a median age of diagnosis of 64 years. Circumcised men do develop penile cancer, which can develop on the circumcision scar.

Tegan,

We had our son circumcised at the age of two, as he was operated on for an undescended testicle and the specialist decided this was the best idea and the least painful way to do things. He healed up very quickly and we didnt have any problems. All I can say is it's a personal thing and you need to do what's best for your son.

Maybe I can create a thread for those who choose not to circumsize and those who do. Yes it is a personal choice and one at which you can only make for yourselves, but I guess I need to create a place where those who choose to parent 'naturally' for a better word, can get support and avoid any debates? There are many things that fall under
'gentle' and we all have our own interpretations of what is gentle, and we don't need to do them all, but for those that choose a certain way, it's unfair to only have an area open to all against what they believe. That way we can all feel at home and have support, because I feel it's all fuzzy. We all love our children, we are all *gentle* at heart, but I wouldn't probably consider circumcision something that would fall under a natural approach. I hope you all get me. Everything just gets so fuzzy in here and when a topic of controversial status comes up, it's on for one and all no matter what they have chosen and if they would normally post in this area. I am sure all of us find it a litle frustrating. I am also concerned at the way it's so easy to say something in a forum, e.g. circumcision and penile cancer risks, but without facts. It's very, very low - as is the chances of being hit by a car.

Thats a great idea Kel. I for one am feeling more and more reluctant to post on some issues and I am finding it quite upsetting. I know we all have parenting styles but when these gentle forums first popped up I was thrilled to feel more 'at home' and was keen to discuss issues that werent really up for debate.

Jo

Tegan, there is no right or wrong...

My partner had problems with his foreskin retracting to the point where it would break away and bleed and would be very painful..so he decided at 24 to have the op..and he said it was the worst pain he ever endured...

I will be Circumcising my son....so that at he doesn't have to go through the pain when his older....And I don't care what other's may think, I am doing what is best for my son.....given what my other half went through...

So do what's best for you..and your little man

I had my first, a son, 14 years ago... i elected not to have him circumsized... the reason i chose not to is because i couldnt take him to get it done... felt bad and also because i thought circumized vs uncircumsized is a much of a muchness and either way it doesnt really matter, i was also 17 years old and lackin 'penile' knowledge and experience.

But now...

We have discussed it and if this bub is a boy we are DEFINATELY gettin him circumsized and Matt has agreed to be the one there... the reasons bein... owners and operators of uncircumsized penis' that havent been taught how to correctly clean under the foreskin can result in the foreskin bein unable to retract.

[post edited by BellyBelly]

Hey Silvi!
Just saw ur post... u must have put it up as i was typing... sorry to hear ur husbands was painful... my ex's wasnt always tight but did tear occassionally... he didnt feel pain but did notice 'some kind' of feeling the moment it tore, definately not pain, which is why we had trouble workin out where the blood had come from... i had to teach him how to operate a foreskin as his parents had NEVER told him anything in relation to hygiene and the foreskin and he was 24yo then!

As parents it is our responsibility to teach our sons how to look after their foreskins and clean under them. Simple.
Hygeine issues and problems with the foreskin not retracting properly are avoidable.
My husband isn't circumcised and either is his brothers, the oldest is 40. They were shown what to do from an early age and my husband is teaching our boys the fine art of foreskin maintenance.

Hey Fletch!
Thats cool, i was meanin when the foreskin cannot be pulled back the sperm ejaculated cannot get out and is stuck under/in there... i do agree, not all men but it definately happens
xxx