Difficult choices

[Nikola Novak]

Hi! I've mentioned in my other post that I'm a father of a 1-year-old boy. That said, let me get to what's bothering me.

He just went through his first common cold and the struggle was quite nasty. The temperature we could easily deal with, but the stuffy nose was a real issue. Boiling chamomile and having him breathe steam didn't work to clear his nose up. Creating a steam room out of our bathroom didn't work. I even tried pouring water over him (he loves that) in a bath until his boogers come out, but that didn't work either. We had to resort to removing the boogers physically.

The thing is, he's hated having things near his face since the day he was born, and especially his eyes, ears, nose and mouth. (A kiss is an exception.) There's absolutely nothing we were ever able to do to make him like, or at least ignore, when someone is poking around his face. We even have trouble simply wiping the boogers that are already out. So, having saltwater nasal drops first injected into his nose and then sucking the diluted booger out was a truly daunting task.

The problem was, of course, that he couldn't sleep. At all. His nose was stuffy, he couldn't breastfeed at night, he would wake up as soon as he fell asleep, or he'd start to cry as soon as he was put down; mother was getting nervous, I wasn't getting sleep and had trouble focusing at work. And so we decided we'd suck the boogers out. And we did and it was really traumatic for him. We had to hold down his arms and head in place and he cried as I've only heard him cry once before, when I accidentally cut too deep with a nail clipper (and so mom does that now). But we got the boogers out and we (finally) slept that night. All three of us.

Now, I'm not here seeking redemption or something like that, I'm here to ask what can we possibly do if (when) this happens next time? We can't let ourselves become sleep deprived (that makes us cranky, nervous, sloppy, etc.) and we hate to make him cry so bad. Anyone have any advice?

[Lily Dust]

Sorry to hear your poor little guy was so sick it is awful to watch. I don't have any advice for you and all of this is just one of the side effects of raising children. Our son has been in hospital several times (once in ICU) for bronchiolitis - so all those cold like symptoms are there and they do not do anything different to what you had to do. They have injected saline into his nostrils and stuck tubes up there to suck all the mucous out. Unfortunately there isn't many options when they can't breathe well. A lovely steamy bathroom with a warm shower might work but it is only a temporary measure. A vapouriser in the room might make you feel better about it and keep the mucous more moist but there isn't any actual proof they do work so it's hit and miss.

Colds do get easier to contend as they get older. Hang in there and fingers crossed he doesn't get any bad colds anytime soon!

[Teeki]

My little guy has also had plenty of trips to hospital with bronchiolitis (thankfully not icu, that's rough Lily Dust). The times he's been sick with breathing difficulties but it hasn't escalated to bronchiolitis, it's been an upper respiratory infection. So his nose, throat, just before his lungs. When this happens we need to clear it out before he gets worse or no one will be sleeping and he'll get sicker.

So, unfortunately for us, this means nasal spray, nose sucker, and if it's quite bad an inhaler with a spacer (he has narrow airways so this helps). Now that he's older he's fine with everything except the inhaler, that's a two person job. He hates it and it's hard to do. But really, our options are to do what it takes to get him better early, or do nothing and wait until it's bad enough for a trip to hospital which is much worse.

I know you're looking for a gentle answer. I prefer gentle methods myself. But when it comes to things like this, you do what you have to do. Get it done, it'll be over quickly, and he'll feel better after when he can breathe clearly and can have a cuddle with mum and dad then have a good sleep.

[Teeki]

Another thing that might help, is talking to him and demonstrating everything you'll do. If you need to use the spray again, do it to yourself first. Tell him everything you're doing and why, and hold him while you're doing it. My husband and I pretended to use our son's inhaler, our daughtr even showed him it was ok. He laughed about the whole thing but after 15 minutes still wouldn't have a bar of it on himself. So we just explained we were going to hold him and he would have 4 puffs then big hugs from everyone. He still hated the inhaler but he knew what was happening.

[kristi14]

Sorry to hear you have just experienced your first cold with your little one. Firsts are always either joyous or hard. One thing that works brilliantly at clearing their noses without having to even go near their face is putting vicks or similar on their feet and then a pair of socks. Sounds incredibly strange but it works, i do it all the time, even with my bigger kids. I then rub whats left on my hands on their chest and you can even try some on a tissue put under their pillowcase or sheet where they lay so they get the smell but no risk of it getting into their eyes either by hand transfer or rolling on it. As has been mentioned, Vapourisers with eucalyptus or similar in it also help but seriously try the feet thing.

[Nikola Novak]

Hi all and thanks for your answers!

But when it comes to things like this, you do what you have to do.

Yeah, that was our rationale as well, but that doesn't mean we like it better now.

Another thing that might help, is talking to him and demonstrating everything you'll do. If you need to use the spray again, do it to yourself first.

That's what we did with the manual sucker when the problem wasn't so huge. He laughed at it, but still didn't like having it near his face, even though he didn't cry (actually, he tried to eat it). This new sucker attaches to a vacuum cleaner and can pull out much more (and I'm surprised by how much stuff can fit in there) and he doesn't like it, but it was the only option now. Manual just didn't cut it, and like I said, all the moisturizers and essential oils were as if they weren't there.

One thing that works brilliantly at clearing their noses without having to even go near their face is putting vicks or similar on their feet and then a pair of socks.

You mean Vicks VapoRub? It's not available in my country, unfortunately. But I suppose any rub/balm with menthol in it would do?