help gentle parenting a 6yr old please?

[beansbeans!]

DD1 is 6.5yrs. She is amazing, but her attitude at the moment is so undesirable. Nothing I say or do at the moment seems to be working.
I try talking to her, and she laughs in my face. If she doesnt get her way, she responds with something along the lines "If you don't let me, then Ill hit you, kick you, throw something at you"
I have tried time out, I have tried talking to her, I have tried taking away toys, special items, the whole bit. Right now I am at my wits end with her.

What else can I try? What have others found to work with this age group? This gentle parenting gig was so much easier when she was little. I feel like she has zero respect for me, doesnt listen, doesnt take anything in. Im lost and out of ideas at the moment.

[~Gee_Whizzy~]

I have no advice, just big hugs! I'm going through the same thing with DD1 who only turned 5 in Jan

I've tried same things as you but nothing's working

you're not alone hun

[beansbeans!]

Its so hard isn't it? I have no clue as to what to try next.

[~Gee_Whizzy~]

Its so hard isn't it? I have no clue as to what to try next.

it certainly is - i'm at the end of my tether with DD1, which is so not the parent I wanted to be! - Hopefully some other people have some suggestions

[Mum2SweetCs]

Subbing
I started a thread on this age group a while. The attitude, eye rolling, talking back grrrrrr ...

[Nikola Novak]

I have tried time out, I have tried talking to her, I have tried taking away toys, special items, the whole bit.

These are the things you have tried to do TO her, but have you tried doing anything WITH her? According to this, you have tried punishment in every way short of physical violence and so far it did not work. So, either you're going to go to the "dark side", or you're going to try something different. Which will it be?

My suggestion would be that the next thing you try is - nothing! If she is threatening violence, then clearly she needs some space. Give it to her. All she needs. Move away and leave her to her own devices. She will, eventually, come back to you because, well, you're her parent and she needs you. When she does, treat her as a partner, an equal, rather than a subject you issue orders to.

[beansbeans!]

Thanks for your response nikola. This particular thread is a couple of years old now, but I am going through it again with another one of my children. It's part of a growth spurt, emotional and physical. Leaving them be means to them that I am not seeing them, they are acting out for a reason and finding out that reason is the hard part.
Leaving mine to be, makes them think that I don't care about them, they are acting out because they crave attention so leaving them be is not good.

depending on what your definition of the dark side is, well I go to my version regularly, haha

[Nikola Novak]

Thanks for your response nikola. This particular thread is a couple of years old now, but I am going through it again with another one of my children. It's part of a growth spurt, emotional and physical. Leaving them be means to them that I am not seeing them, they are acting out for a reason and finding out that reason is the hard part.
Leaving mine to be, makes them think that I don't care about them, they are acting out because they crave attention so leaving them be is not good.

depending on what your definition of the dark side is, well I go to my version regularly, haha

Sorry, I wasn't checking the date. The thread was on the first page in the forum and I just assumed it was newer. Ah, assumptions...

Anyway, I didn't think you should ignore her altogether. I said give her space. That doesn't mean dump her in the woods, leave home and let her manage on her own. Simply, when she's in one of her moods, don't make any requests, and don't let her have any of the benefits of you being her parent (unless absolutely necessary), but do acknowledge her. She'll need you eventually.

Anyway, like I said, I'm a father of a 1-year-old, so I don't know much about those later years, but that's what I would do.

[trishalishous]

My nearly 6yo can threaten violencr and I just tell her that I cant let her hurt people so we move away from her.
when she is calm she will rejoin us.
I try to use natural consequences rather than arbitrary punishments.
its a tough age

[Marissap]

It is very difficult to match the way of thinking with the kids especially when they are growing up. Whenever I have any difficulty, I discuss it with my friends and family members. But if you need any basic advice for parenting, you can check it with babynology.com.