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Thread: I'm not as good at this as I would like to be....

  1. #19

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    I wish I was the parent I dreamed I would be, but alas not in our household.

    I currently refer to myself as the 'Screaming Banshee', as it seems I spend most of my day yelling to
    a: Get the attention of Miss 3 1/2 yr old who zones out when I need her to do something ie: get dressed in the morning
    b: Telling the twins off for trashing my kitchen (this means helping themselves to whatever food they can find and then throwing the rest all over the floor
    c: Trying to get Miss 3 1/2 to stop with the constant interrogations, whinging, whining, sulky and general 'doing my head in'

    and I'm sure there are more that I could add but I've just cooked dinner and like very night, try to serve them up good food which ends up on the floor so my brain is fryed for the day...


  2. #20

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    Gosh just by admitting you are not the perfect gentle parent makes you pretty amazing.

    I more often than not start feeding DS something 'Healthy' & something he can feed himself, when he dislikes it, throws it on the floor, rubs all over his face and hair I more often than not resort to puréed stuff just to make sure he is eating, at dinner his main source of nutrition comes from soy ice cream

    I get to the point most days when going to the park means I have 2 minutes when he is not all over me.

    I have resorted to putting him in his high chair and having him sit with me in the bathroom so I don't have to listen to his crying when I am gone for 30 secs.

    I roll over and pretend I am dead asleep some nights when he wakes up for the 3rd or fourth time and make sure I kick dh so he knows its his turn, even though I know that DS settles faster and easier with me.

    That's just the last 24 hours, so I hear you on the less than perfect thing

  3. #21

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    Ugh. "perfect" parents. I wrote a blog post once about what I think of them. basically, if there is really someone out there that really gets it "right" all the time, imagine how boring their life must be... not to mention that all people learn best from their mistakes, so a parent that sometimes does things wrong and is then honest and open with their children about it is imo a "better" parent than someone who gets it right all the time... if for no other reason than seeing parents lost it sometimes teaches children that it is okay to make mistakes and that it is normal to lose it sometimes, etc...

    I've lost it a few times. I even hit DD a couple of times (once just because she was generally annoying me, and not even for anything specific). DD is currently going through a phase where she talks ALL the time and asks me to do things for her all the time (things that she is able to do herself), especially if I am attending to DS... I try not to lash out, but it is so frustrating... Grrr. I then feel bad that I don't enjoy spending time with her... It's hard...

  4. #22

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    I have to say it goes in stages for me. Some weeks everything works and I feel pretty on top of things, but I've had some shockers.

    Sleep deprivation turns me into banshee woman. In a rage one time I stormed off to lock myself in the toilet, tripped on the potty do kicked the potty and it got wedged in the wall! Yep about a foot off the floor and through the plaster. I had to patch and sand it before Dh saw it lol!

    Each moment is just a breath way from bliss or hell. I try and reminder that when I feel down, but also when things are cruisey, because it only takes a second for everything to unravel.

    Parenting is damage control so much of the time, it can get you down.

  5. #23

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    There are also the people who talk about their children/relationship/life in glowing terms all the time but never offer up the flip side. This doesn't mean there isn't a flip side but they don't share it because they are desperate (whether consciously or subconciously) to foster the illusion of perfection or superiority - both to themselves and others. Usually they are masking a deep seated inferiority or insecurity. When you come across those people, don't feel jealous, feel sorry for them. They have issues.

  6. #24

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    Or you know, reach out to them!

  7. #25

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jellyfish View Post
    Or you know, reach out to them!
    Yeah, but you're nicer than me. I'm old and jaded

  8. #26

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    Quote Originally Posted by nothing2lose View Post
    Yeah, but you're nicer than me. I'm old and jaded
    Watch out, I'm gunna catch you with my warm fuzzy feel good hugs!

    ETA: probably should include some hugs here

  9. #27

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jellyfish View Post
    Watch out, I'm gunna catch you with my warm fuzzy feel good hugs!

    ETA: probably should include some hugs here

  10. #28

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    Don't worry, I don't actually reach out to people or give them hugs. I'm socially inept. And I actually see visible bubbles around people and respect them implicitly. I'm totally one of those issues people.

  11. #29

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    Ladies, I'm really loving these posts (is that a terrible thing to say?) some of them had me in stitches laughing, just what I needed after today..... Yep, the whole day has been one of "those" days, but I just gave in to it in the afternoon.... We ate biscuits, not fruit, and watched TV & DVDs, and ate left-overs for dinner.

    Keep 'em coming, the laughs have been really good

  12. #30

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    Default I'm not as good at this as I would like to be....

    Quote Originally Posted by Artechim View Post
    Same here. There are many things I would like to do better and some days I just can't seem to manage to be the mother I would like to be.
    This. Exactly.

  13. #31

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    Tonight I shouted so loudly at DD1 (to stop shouting at her sister) that I put my back out!

  14. #32

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    My friend who works for DOCS told me she actually reckons the ones who claim their children are perfect all the time are more suss than anyone else. This in response to my post on facebook saying i was going to post my daughter down to her grandmother in a box (i did say i would put airholes in it)

  15. #33

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    Default I'm not as good at this as I would like to be....

    I had an operation last week and my kids have been barely eating any vegetables. I can't complain because DH has been looking after them. He even bought milo muesli type bars AND milo custards for school lunches. The kids have been loving Daddy's cooking though.

    My DD2 watches Harry Potter every single night when going to bed. It is the only way we can get her to stay in her bedroom.
    I told DS2 that I was going to throw every single one of his matchbox cars into the bin because I'm tired of seeing them on the floor, and he started to cry!

    I told my DD2 if she won't let me brush her hair that she will have to get her hair cut like her brothers hair. That lead to a complete screaming fit.

    DH & I stood waiting outside of the car today whilst the kids were screaming in their car seats whilst parked in the garage. Both of us refused to get in the car whilst the headache inducing screaming was going on.

    When DD2 was screaming in her room tonight (if you haven't realised yet, my DD2 is horrid right now) DH & I were in our room laughing about the things we'd like to say, such as bursting into the room and saying "Please just STFU!!!" Lol.

  16. #34

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    Quote Originally Posted by Arcadia View Post
    In a rage one time I stormed off to lock myself in the toilet, tripped on the potty do kicked the potty and it got wedged in the wall! Yep about a foot off the floor and through the plaster. I had to patch and sand it before Dh saw it lol!
    I did something similar a couple years ago. I threw a tanty in the laundry & threw the napisan tub at the door. It hit the doorframe, the lid came off and napisan went EVERYWHERE! I still haven't cleaned it all up Well it's all through the cupboard where the games & puzzles are kept and we never use them - who has time for that?! A few weeks later I noticed a big crack in the paint work right where I threw the napisan. DH put it down to movement in the house I have no idea what that tanty was about. Probably DS just being a 2yo.

  17. #35

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    Quote Originally Posted by Arcadia View Post
    I have to say it goes in stages for me. Some weeks everything works and I feel pretty on top of things, but I've had some shockers.

    Sleep deprivation turns me into banshee woman. In a rage one time I stormed off to lock myself in the toilet, tripped on the potty do kicked the potty and it got wedged in the wall! Yep about a foot off the floor and through the plaster. I had to patch and sand it before Dh saw it lol!

    Each moment is just a breath way from bliss or hell. I try and reminder that when I feel down, but also when things are cruisey, because it only takes a second for everything to unravel.

    Parenting is damage control so much of the time, it can get you down.
    I sooo could of written this post

    I do like a good storm off when i have my cranky pants on

    I think that one of the most important things to realise is this: that we are striving to be gentle parents and raise our children with gentleness (which in my thinking is to also raise them knowing that they are FULL humans, they enjoy the same rights as myself and any other human on this planet). I think actually that as gentle parenters our children see us more accurately for what we are: normal human beings that are trying our very best to raise them with integrity and confidence. One thing i love about the freedom that gentle parenting gives is the freedom to admit mistakes! this idea that the parent is never wrong and you *must* keep going despite realising you are in the wrong was the easiest thing to ditch for me. it has made me a MUCH better parent for it...not a perfect parent.

    your kids will see you for all your colours. but the important thing is that those moments of not coping are fleeting and when things do get better they get really better: with a gentle parent who has open arms and an open heart and the ability to admit that they acted cray cray and are sorry for it ITMS.

    I would like to point out that parents who do not gentle parent also crack it. but aftewards? when all the 'cracking it' is over...what then? it's the essence, it's what is at the heart of our parenting style that will stand the true test of time.

  18. #36

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    Default I'm not as good at this as I would like to be....

    Oh Cassius *smooch*

    Words of wisdom m'love. Couldn't have said it better myself.

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