That's the great thing about this book, the author herself coslept so she doesn't tell you that you shouldn't be, more suggests ways that you can help your LO to stop needing the boob to resettle. It's well worth reading.:
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That's the great thing about this book, the author herself coslept so she doesn't tell you that you shouldn't be, more suggests ways that you can help your LO to stop needing the boob to resettle. It's well worth reading.:
That sounds good :)
I just had a look in her mouth, and she's cut 3 teeth...she had two before that. But surely teething doesn't take 3 months? Or does it?
I was going to ask if she's in pain... but the three month thing put me off too. Feeding THAT often is usually (for us) a sign that something is wrong such as teething or upset tummy from a food reaction or hunger due to increased needs. Over the past few months when it's not been teething then feeding the little squish more food during the day or cutting out dairy (for example for us) has helped him have better sleeps.
Pz: I've got the no cry nap solution which I haven't quite read through but I think it's similar to the no cry solution. With my DD she was waking a bit too and one of the things I realised (based on observation & confirmed by Pinky & Elizabeth P) is that sometimes she isn't waking. Just stirring. And settles. But because I was paranoid abt her fully waking I ended up giving her the boob just so. I totally understand where ure at. I took a gamble for a few nights to try out a bit of delayed response (that was tiring) but I think it's worth it. In the no cry sleep solution book it basically suggests to get a 'benchmark' when u start. Good luck! Lemme know if u want to borrow any books.
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The other thing that I've done with dd is take her to the Chiro. It seems to 'settle' her a bit.
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I'm definitely going to offer more food. I feel like I'm offering all the time, but I'll do it more. DD has had reactions to a few foods now, one pretty bad and others mild. No link that I can really see with the foods though (banana, egg yolk, some oils, some veggies). She hasn't been in pain the last three months, more the last few weeks.
She wakes up crying, or will stir, rub her eyes, wake up and cry. No amount of patting or stroking will fix this. Sometimes if I can get her dummy in or on the boob quick enough she'll go back off right away.
I wonder whether I need to wean her off the dummy? She doesn't wake as soon as it falls out, not at all, but maybe when she enters a lighter sleep cycle she becomes aware it's gone? I think that weaning her from the dummy at night at least would be tough, but doable. Just not sure if I should, I'm not convinced that is the reason for all her wakings. Ugh. I just don't know. I would be overjoyed with 2 wakings...hell, I'd happily take 3 or 4! But I'm really worn thin at the moment.
We couldn't face weaning from the dummy so I focused on trying to teach him to put it in himself. I think that's from the No-Cry Sleep Solution too... she also says to have stacks of them around so baby can reach out and grab one in their sleepy state and put it back in.
We are another family who has lots of dummies in the cot.. Our girls have about 5 each within easy reach. And also a music box like BG suggested. We have used it for all 3 kids and I really think it helped them.
Big hugs to you - sleep deprivation is the worst. No wonder it is used as a form of torture :( We are just coming out of a bad sleep period for our 2 and the past few weeks have been a blur.
I also read the no-cry sleep solution, and used the Pantley Pull Off method. Don't know why I didn't think of it when replying before!
Somehow, at 4-5 months old it seemed to work, not so much now. Basically, once DD has relaxed and is dozing (not necessarily asleep) put your pinky in and unlatch her. She might try and get back on, but if you put it away chances are she'll be fine. Then put her down kind of awake, and let her fall asleep. I think this hasn't worked for us for the last three months or so because of teeth, she's constantly had one coming through :wall: But now she'll really fight to get back on, and will fully wake up and cry if I don't let her.
It also talks about sleep associations - introducing a comforter, which has been brilliant for naps for us and eased the transition to childcare; and word associations. So when she's calm and falling asleep, say something that you'll want to say when you want her to go to sleep. I whisper "shh, shh, it's sleepy time now." Hasn't worked so far with settling her immediately when she wakes, but it's another tool we're building up.
When I was dealing with DS sleep issues the dummy was his new comfort instead of boob. I guess if you take away one thing, you'd kinda have to replace it with another, which could end up being you.
I'm trying to night wean at the moment and it's hard, mainly because dd's other comfort is still me. I tried with blankie, toys, dummy, but she wouldn't have a bar of it.
Do you get a chance to nanna nap in the day? Maybe if you can (dd and ds both sleep on me for a nap which gave me down time) then you'll be better equipped to deal with the night shift.
Teething seems to last for ever in this house so maybe once that's past, things will get better
HUG!
PZ, you're having a rough time. I do empathise :hug:
I apologise for my brief response - In a hurry, but this is based on my personal experience (yep, done it, doing it)
First, stop watching the time. Knowing how often adn when they wake makes things worse.
Second, do whatever is easiest. If feeding is quickest, then do that. Seriously. Yes, she likes feeding to sleep. It's ok, though. She'll grow out of it in time. If it works now, and nothing else works better, then don't make life harder for yourself.
Third, feed her as often as you can during the day. If you feel maybe she needs more milk, then offer less food.
Fourth, at this age, separation anxiety often kicks in. It's important for her to know you're close. The upheaval at home may also have some affect on her. She may also be due for teeth. They can be nasty buggers and wake kids constantly for months :(
Hang in there. I promise it will get better. Do you have help during the day or weekends at least? Any time to get a bit of rest or time out will really help you.
YES!!:
DD had problems with teeth from about 5months til about 30 months. it wasn't always the same - sometimes she was bad, sometimes not so much - but it was constant.
i was ever so glad to find that last tooth had FINALLY cut!
she was late with all her teeth actually breaking the gums, but she started the discomfort about the same time as all her baby buddies - it just lasted longer
I'm afraid so. DD's first 2 molars took nearly 5 months. she's still working on the other two. no wonder they wake so often, hey?
I worked out that DS's teeth all took 6 weeks on average, but that varied from 1 week to 12. DD must have really tough gums :)
Hi PZ - does she let you put her in the cot? You could try a settling technique that I used to use with DS. In a way it is a lot like teaching a dog to stay if you have ever done that. Bear with me :)
I would put DS in his cot and stay with him or pat him till he was happy. Then I would stop patting him (or leave the room depending on how he was feeling) for an interval then I would go in again and pat him again. Sounds like a CIO routine but the big difference is that I would go in to pat/cuddle or be with him BEFORE he started crying or asking for me. That way he was always anticipating that I was coming back, and not worrying about where I was. It creates a sense of security in what they know to expect. When I said this was like teaching a dog to stay, I mean that you always reward and reinforce the behaviour before the dog breaks away from his 'stay' position. DS is now 5 and I still do this to some extent. When we stay at my parents house he has to get used to the room that he is sleeping in. Of course I can use words now so I tell him that I will stay for 5 mins then I will go for 5 mins but I will always come back to check on him. I always do (and if he yells out I go back then) and so he knows that he can expect that. Babies you can't use words but if you behave in an expected way then that will help them feel secure. Anyway if you have tried everything else then this is worth giving a go. Hope you get some sleep soon.
I agree completely with MadB's first suggestion. I know you've told me why you note the times, but I can't remember :redface: If it's something very important, of course keep doing it, but it really doesn't seem vital from an outsider's POV. It wakes *you* up more if you're writing it, and points out just how much you're waking up. You know, I bet I have (or had at that age) that many wake-ups in one night, but they're so small sometimes that I forget by morning.
Aaaaallllll that said, you're the one going through it, you make the final decision :hug:
DS sleep didn't settle until he was over 2 when all his teeth came in. It seemed like he was getting new teeth every month. I did go to sleep school, when DS was 11 mnths, and in terms of crying there was a lot. I know when DS was at his worst what you have noted DS followed a very similar patterns. I was a zombie so I know how you are feeling right. Some weeks are worse then others and it does start to settle.
Sorry I don't really have any advice cause the only thing that worked for us is time.
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I know your doing BLS but can you feed her some food and then give her some finger foods? I just know that by I's age Hamish was eating 3 main meals and snacks and still having bottles and once he started having a good amount to eat her became a much better sleeper. Just a suggestion.
Totally agree with everything MadB said. My DD1 was a shocking sleeper. Nothing worked to change her. And trying to 'fix' her just made me more stressed out. What worked was just going with it. I know you're exhausted, and it seems like it will never end. But you're almost there. After they turn one things start improving :) Do not look at the clock!! Honestly, it makes a huge difference!! If feeding her is easiest to get her back to sleep just shove the boob in as quick as possible and go back to sleep! lol. Trying to stop the feeding and getting up and rocking her or something instead will just be a struggle and if it doesn't work, just makes you feel like crap. Just go with it as best you can, not much longer now, you're doing a great job. Are you able to nap during the day too??:
I always just tried to remember this: Even if you do absolutely nothing, she will eventually learn to sleep, everyone does eventually.
Big :hug: sleep deprivation is awful xx