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Thread: She's not a princess...

  1. #1

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    Default She's not a princess...

    So I'm not so sure this is gentle parenting but I guess 'alternative' parenting?

    If this baby is a girl I think I'll lose it if everyone starts calling her a princess. If she's older and wearing a princess costume then sure, call her a princess! But it drives me nuts to hear newborn girls called princesses all the time.



    Does anyone else feel this way? How do you respond if people say it? Do you ask them not to?

  2. #2

    Default Re: She's not a princess...

    Yes. I detest it.

    I plan to point out Storm, if Storm's a girl, is not a member of the Royal family. (I know I have a title, but still not enough.)

    I also plan to tell people I will not dress my daughter in princess tops. Any given will be handed back. I did this with Liebs. I know, I am ungrateful. But tasteful.

  3. #3

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    Default Re: She's not a princess...

    Yep- there is no way I'm putting any clothing that says "princess" on my daughter.

    I'm tossing up adding "please, no princess comments" to a birth announcement. It will just **** me if people say it!

  4. #4

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    Default Re: She's not a princess...

    Oh and if this is a girl after two boys its going to happen a lot. Also you'll get the "oh you finally got a girl, you can stop now" like that was the only reason you have had three children! Or if its a boy "oh what a pity you didnt get a girl" People can be so thoughtless. I almost detest telling people the sex of our bubs when they are born! I want everyone else just to be happy that its healthy!!!!! Rant finished

  5. #5

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    Default Re: She's not a princess...

    Going against the crowd and I'm 'one of those' mothers that calls their girls, a princess. I don't however but clothes that say that. I have no issue with the word or reference to my girls. In my eyes, they are my princesses

  6. #6

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    Default Re: She's not a princess...

    Can I ask why you dont like term? Is it just because they arent royalty or is there some other reason?

  7. #7

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    Default Re: She's not a princess...

    Personally, I don't call my DD a princess, nor would I let her wear clothes that say princess. Occaisonally others will say "hello princess", but I just ignore it.

    My reasoning is that I feel that calling a little girl a princess is teaching her that she is "royalty", deserves special treatment, has others serve her and gets her own way. In my parenting style, I am big on teaching that we need to learn to help and be kind to others and that it is a good thing to "serve" others. I love my DD obviously, but I don't want her to think that the world revolves around her and her needs.

  8. #8

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    Default Re: She's not a princess...

    I don't like the term princess because I see it as emphasising stereotypes of beauty and fluffiness without being a substantial character. I never (very rarely) hear boys being called a prince so I feel the term is really used to emphasise femininity.

    I also think it can be a derogatory term such as "stop being such a princess!" and to label girls as princesses implies in some part that they are those "annoying female" types who act like divas.

    I don't see it as an empowering term and I see no need to harp on about a child's gender in such a stereotypical fashion from the day their gender is known.
    Last edited by meow; March 18th, 2014 at 12:15 AM. Reason: spelling

  9. #9

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    Default Re: She's not a princess...

    For me we never put negative connotations around the term princess ie "youre acting like a princess"

    So im fine with dd1 wanting to be like a princess as i just see it like imaginative play really.

    She will dance and sing and dress up like a princess with a crown. Thats about it.

    I dont think she knows much about it being royalty and stuff i just see her wanting to be like cinderella and princesses in frozen, tangled, etc

  10. #10

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    Default Re: She's not a princess...

    Hmm... like I said, I have no problems with acting like a princess and playing dress ups. I also wont put negative connotations around it. But I don't want my newborn (or even unborn!) daughter labeled as a princess. Why is that so hard? Call her a warrior if you want a label!

  11. #11

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    Default Re: She's not a princess...

    I don't like my girls being *called* princesses, however, like Mum2SweetCs I don't mind them playing princesses. Furthermore, the "modern day" princesses (Merida from Brave, Ana and Elsa from Frozen, Mulan etc) are much stronger role models than previously portrayed so I'm happy for my girls to want to "act" like them

    totally agree regarding the sentiment about it being used as a derogatory term though!

  12. #12

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    Default Re: She's not a princess...

    My mum had a no nickname rule with us when we were kids. If anyone called us something other than our name (including shortened versions) she'd kindly ask them to use our proper names because that is what she chose for us to be called.

  13. #13

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    Default Re: She's not a princess...

    I think when they're tiny bubs, being called a princess is merely a term of endearment :? they have no concept of what it is etc... However, yeah, when they're older and aware of what a princess is, if they've been called that from young it kind of "sets" a tone I'd imagine

  14. #14

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    Default Re: She's not a princess...

    I had to think about this one, no one has ever called my daughter Princess or referred to her as being a Princess. Human Dynamo, Terror Tot and Determined come to mind

    If someone said to me "your princess is beautiful" I would just correct them and say "yes, (daughters name) is beautiful, thankyou. It's a bit like talking to your toddler in some sense, when they say a word incorrectly, rather than say "no, it's said this way", I say yes (the correct way to say the word) is blue.

  15. #15

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    Default Re: She's not a princess...

    I call my girls princesses, because they are my princesses. I used to dislike the term, but Ive had a change of heart over it. I also cannot stand the idea of making girls wear pink and boys wear blue, I dislike that boys are defined as being rough and tumble, dirty, 'feral' children. Gender definitions suck.
    We don't define princesses in our home as the hollywood 'princesses'. It is also not a term defined by beauty or fluffiness, and someone lacking character. The term princess in our home means strong, intelligent, independent, kind hearted, community minded, honest, caring, loving, confident. The princesses that my girls know of are this and more, so are my girls for that matter. According to my girls, I am the queen and dh is the king of our family. If we had a boy then yes he would be our little prince.

    In so many cases, the definition and meaning of a word or term can be either positive or negative and what determines that is at the way it is seen.

    I will admit that out of 3 girls, we have one shirt (size 1 or 2, fitted the 2yr old tantrums at the time ) that refers to them being a princess in training, otherwise nothing else refers to them as being princesses.

  16. #16

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    Default Re: She's not a princess...

    DD1 calls herself a princess. Not because she thinks she's it and a bit but because she adores Cinderella and Rapunzel, loves their clothes and wants to have long hair like Rapunzel and wear beautiful dresses like Cinderella.

    For me, it's no different calling her a princess or munchkin or sweetheart or any other endearment that falls off my tongue. The most common thing we call each other is boof head!

    As a baby, neither of my girls were called princess or anything else for that matter. The nicknames have appeared as they have gotten older and their personalities have come through.

  17. #17

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    Default Re: She's not a princess...

    The term princess comes with a lot of baggage, and most of it not all that good. To me it conjures up an entitled, pretty girl concerned with her looks and snagging the right man. Yes, it's a stereotype, but that's kind of the point.
    My girl always gets mistaken for a boy anyway

  18. #18

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    Default Re: She's not a princess...

    I detest it too, when I was looking for a 'baby's first Christmas' decoration the only one I could get was one with 'princess' written on it, it really gets to me even now, I wish I hadn't bought it.

    My DDs is a tomboy and always gets called a boy by strangers so don't think it's going to be that much of an issue for awhile lol

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